Just when my blogging friend blackbird is bragging about how productive I am, or, irony in action

Oh, internet, you know I love you, but I'm having a few problems with my next eye shadow post. And it has nothing to do with all the M.A.C. shadows I just bought over the internet. I am not freaking out AT ALL that M.A.C. gives their shadows all kinds of unique names like Wedge and Cork and Bamboo and Corduroy and then when you order 15 of them, it tuns out they're all exactly the same color.

(Some makeup expert I turned out to be.)

Also, I really want to scan in some pictures from some out of print books I have on makeup. I dug up a couple of excellent diagrams of the general eye area, with very clear instructions on where to put which shade of shadow. They would be so helpful. But I can't get my scanner to work.

Also, LPC kind of derailed me with a question about lilac-colored eyeshadow; specifically, whether it's OK for us old broads to wear it. (My answer is yes, of course, but only with due diligence about shimmer. And unless you're planning to star in a remake of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, I'll terminate glittery lilac-colored eyeshadow with extreme prejudice.)

So I'm getting way behind on my posting. For example, I have plans to start a regimen that I'll do for an entire month, so I can report back with a truthful, objective review (albeit marred by parenthetical remarks in italics.) I bought a Murad Get the Glow! Resurgence kit, as well as a couple of other supposedly miraculous products. I was planning to post about them on May 1st, and now I'm all BEHIND.

Capital letters were designed by the ancient Romans to express FRUSTRATION.

And now I have to go to see lovely Tony at Pascal Pour Elle (he's completely adorable) to get a blow-out because I have two cocktail parties to attend tonight.

WHAT A WHIRLWIND.

The only eyeshadow shades you need

You know those fabulous blockbuster palettes that everyone comes out with for the holidays? Estee Lauder, Sephora, Walgreen's, you name it. A whole rainbow of colors and so many finishes: matte, satin, frosted, opalescent, glittery. How fun are they?

Great fun. But let's remember eyeshadow's primary purpose. It's not to go all Crayola 64 shades. Eye shadow exists to sculpt, enlarge, and accentuate the eye.

Say hello to the idea of Your Eyes But Better

If you want startling effects, you'll need a range of different colors of eyeshadow. But if you want to do a neutral, pretty makeup job--your eyes but bigger, brighter, more defined and more expressive--you only need three shades of shadow:

1. A light, non-shimmery base color

This shade should be about the color of your brow bone. You'll be applying it all over the eyelid, from lashline to eyebrow. This sets your concealer or primer, mattifies the area, and provides a base for the rest of your eye look.

2. A darker, non-shimmery midtone/contour shade for sculpting

The midtone or contour shade should be two shades darker than your light shade. This is where fair-skinned girls get gypped. The contour shade in the average quad is usually far too dark. You really only want it to be a couple of shades darker than your light shade. Think about the way paint companies show shades on paint strips--the difference in color should be visible, but subtle.

3. A very dark shade for lining and special effects

The dark shade should be somewhere between your contour shade and your eyeliner and/or eyelashes.

To those shades, it's also nice to add

4. A light shimmery highlight color



OK, I realize this comes as news to absolutely no one. I swear, as I type this, I'm picturing my makeup-obsessed internet friends rolling their (perfectly made up) eyes and saying "duh." After all, every eyeshadow manufacturer from Maybelline to Chanel produces a quad with four beige-to-chocolate brown shades.

Except that the companies often act as thought these quads were one size fits all, when they're really not.

Beware of Shimmer

You'll find lots of quads with absolutely gorgeous colors--except the shadows are all shimmery. Shimmery shadows are fine for certain uses, but for this natural, neutral eye, you want to shape and sculpt the lid, browbone, and crease, and you can't do that with sparkly shadows.

Also, once you have even a hint of droopiness, crepey-ness or crows' feet, you have to approach shimmery shadows with extreme caution. (This is because--to revert to my paint metaphor--you don't use high-gloss, light-reflective paint formulas on a cracked surface!)

Work with your complexion

Here's another way in which eyeshadow quads aren't one-size-fits-all: the four shades you select should relate to your complexion shade and tone. I'm not talking about eye color here; this advice holds no matter what color your eyes are.

You're using these shades to contour the area around your eyes, and they need to work with the color of your skin. As a fair-skinned, cool-to-neutral person, I've found many eye quads to be way too dark or too yellow toned. Often the lightest shade is fine, but the midtone or contour shade is the color of Grey Poupon mustard. Nothing against you mustard-colored ladies, but not only is Grey Poupon-colored eyeshadow unattractive, it looks unnatural. On me, at least.

If you're medium-to-dark-toned, you'll have to watch out for the lighter shades. Often the'll be too light, and end up looking ashy and unnatural. And if you're warm-toned, too taupe-y and cool a shade will look muddy.

Ideally all four eyeshadow shades blend together to create a soft, natural, big-eyed look--which is why I call it Your Eyes But Better.

My Recommendations

When you're looking for a set of eye shadows, it's tempting to buy a ready-made quad. But as I've already pointed out, I've never had much luck with that; it's awfully hard to escape shimmer, and the contour shade is too dark and warm a brown.

However, quads can definitely be cost-effective, as opposed to buying four single shades. Bobbi Brown makes amazing shadows, but they're $20 each, so I hesitate to order you to run out and buy four of them. Still, if you click over there to check out the colors, you'll see how soft and subtle they are. That's the look we're aiming for.

There's also the advantage that someone else has coordinated the colors for you, which is helpful if you're a beginner.

Here are my suggestions:

Drugstore Quads

Revlon's Colorstay 12 Hour Eye Shadow Quad in Coffee Bean


Physician's Formula Canyon Classics and Classic Nudes

Department Store

Clinique's Color Surge Eye Shadow Quad in Teddy Bear. Spicy and Choco-Latte are also beautiful, and would work well with people with warmer and darker complexions.



Elizabeth Arden Color Intrigue Eye Shadow Quad in Sueded Browns or Neutral Cashmeres.

Creating the perfect eyeshadow quad

As you can see, sometimes a quad has one or two or even three gorgeous colors, but it doesn't have everything you need. Once you know the shades that work best for you, it's a great convenience to fill a compact with them.

M.A.C. sells empty four- and fifteen-pan compacts. If you get a four-pan, you could fill it with shadow that work perfectly for you. This is something to keep in mind if you've tried one or two ready-made quads and found you only used two or three of the shades. A custom compact is really wonderful for travel, and it really simplifies life to open one compact and find everything you need.

My favorite eye shadow palette? Glad you asked

OK, this is definitely a case of do as I say, not as I do, because my favorite eyeshadow "quad" has nine shades of shadow. It's Too Faced's Natural Eye Neutral Eye Shadow Collection.


It has a perfect base color (top left) and the all-time fabulously wonderfully perfect crease shade for me (top middle). It also has some great shades to use as eye liner, and some shimmery and glittery shades to use for evening, so it's basically one-stop shopping. It retails for $34, but since you get nine shades, I think it's a pretty good deal.

(Confession time: I've also taken the plunge and ordered a M.A.C. 15-pan palette. Of neutral colors. Heh.)

Coming up soon: how and where to apply your eyeshadow.

Elsewhere:

MakeupGeek has two helpful videos that relate to this post, Makeup 101: How to Apply Eye Makeup, and How to Organize Your MAC Neutral Palette

Basic eye makeup for a woman of a certain age: Step 1: Wear neutral shades

If you read as many fashion magazines as I do, you're constantly being inundated with advertisements featuring amazing images of dramatic eye makeup. These images are doing an excellent job--at least as far as I'm concerned--since I actually spend good money on these colors. And then I gloat over them like Gollum with his Precious. Sometimes I hole up in my bathroom and do a full-on Sephora-worthy eye makeup job, featuring five shades of shimmery green shadow complete with shimmer and a heaping helping of glitter. But I don't leave the house looking like that, and neither should you.

Just say no.

I hate to ruin anyone's day, but extreme eyemakeup is for the young.

Holy Crayola, Batman!

(These advertisments should come with a cautionary label, like cigarettes: KIDS! Don't try this at home!)

Eye makeup for the not-so-young

Here's the deal: as we age, we develop crows feet. Our eyelids become crepey. We might start to suffer from puffiness and bags under our eyes. The dark shadows that we always got under our eyes when we didn't get enough sleep become darker and become a permanent condition. On top of that, the shadows start to go all the way around our eyes. Our brows start to collapse and land where the crease of our eye used to be.

Yes, it's depressing.

The good news is that the eyes themselves don't change all that much. The exquisite color of your iris and unique shape of your eyes can still be emphasized. This will wake your whole face up and make you look refreshed and youthful.

I don't go through all these steps every day, but when I want to look really good, I use concealer, eyeshadow primer, three shades of eye shadow, two shades of eye liner, brow color, and mascara. And I do it all with neutral shades of eye makeup: beiges, tans, brown, and black.

And it doesn't look boring. Also, I'm in pretty good company. Marilyn Monroe wore a bold red lip, and she balanced it with neutral eyeshadow.


It's a classic look that never goes out of style. Here's Naomi Campbell modelling the late, lamented Kevyn Aucoin's iconic version of a neutral eye look, from a 1991 Allure magazine:


You'll notice that the lid is very light; the crease is very dark; there is a LOT of eyeliner, and the whole thing is contoured like crazy.

It's way over the top, and it's dated, but Aucoin was exaggerating to make a point. It's a ton of makeup, but it's a symphony in neutral color; beige, dark brown, and black. Campbell looks like a goddess.

Here's a recent version from Temptalia:


These shades are too shimmery for us, but I love the way she blended them and then set them off with that great eyeliner; I love the little upwards flick at the outer edge of her eye.

I hope I've sold you on the importance of developing a neutral eye makeup look. Tomorrow I'm going to talk about how to find the three or four eyeshadows to use as a palette of colors for your everyday neutral, polished, pretty eye look.



This is post belongs to a series I'm posting on natural-looking, flattering eye makeup for women of a certain age. Check back for posts on concealer, eye shadow primer, eyeliner, mascara, and brow color.

Coming soon on the Beauty Boomer

I'm derrière-deep in alligators right now, with too many social engagements, too much volunteer stuff, school stuff for my kids, and the usual pile of laundry. While I'm scurrying around doing that, I'm also working on a few posts--mentally, that is--just figuring out what direction I'm going to take next. So Internet, I'd like your opinion on what to post next. Do any of these interest you?

1. A series on neutral, everyday eye makeup: what works for women our age; what products and colors I recommend; what techniques work best.
2. A series in which I make myself into the internet's guinea pig by buying and trying some anti-aging skin care, and then reporting my findings.
3. Ideas on coordinating your look; looking polished, pulled together, and age-appropriate.
4. How I decide how much to pay for clothes, or, My So-Called Budget.

What do you think, sirs?

When retro heads to the dark side

You know, whenever a style is brought back, there are always the naysayers. Everyone's all, Oh no, the eighties! I can't stand padded shoulders (or leggings, or cobalt blue, or Big Hair.) Or I hate the 70s! Boo clogs and bootleg jeans. Or Say no to the Nineties! Grunge Must. Not. Return.

But I try to look for the good in every fashion revival. I'm glad we're over flat-ironed hair; I'm on record as saying I like clogs, and sheesh, some baggy 90s clothes would come as a welcome relief from all the muffin top I see every day.

But there's something from the 80s that I really, really, really didn't miss.



Just say no to drop temple glasses.

There's something so drab and cheerless about this style. To me, it's depressingly administrative-assistant-to-a-low-level-office-manager-circa-1982.

I realize I'm sounding like my mother. (Specifically, way back when The Great Gatsby was released and 20s styles were revived). But let's hope this style, being resurrected by ModCloth, dies a quick death.

The ten things meme--beautified

I'm stealing this from my stylish friend blackbird, who got it from Kim. I'm skewing it more beauty-and-style, to fit in with the nature of this blog:

1. My mother tells me I was her prettiest and most delicate-looking baby. What. the. hell. happened.
2. I was born in Boston and lived in Massachusetts until I moved to Chicago 23 years ago. I found Chicagoans almost impossibly glamorous. To those of you who scoff (reasoning that Chicago, after all, is in the midwest) I answer: you obviously haven't been to New England. Whenever I fly into Boston, I'm struck by how L. L. Bean everyone looks. One of my favorite all-time makeover movies, Now Voyager, illustrates my point. See Bette Davis as the repressed Bostonian spinster transformed into a much-less-repressed spinster ... with fabulous clothes. (My love for makeover movies has both depth and breadth and obviously deserves a post of its own.)
   
3. The Italians are the best-dressed people on the face of the earth. They have access to the finest fabrics and craftsmen, and their color sense is beyond reproach. I'll never forget a Sunday morning in Venice, watching the Venetian ladies walk home from mass with their thin-soled elegant shoes and cashmere stoles thrown just so over their shoulders. Sorry, Parisians.
   
4. I would love to live on an island. Luckily, I do, every summer. It's in New Hampshire, and when I'm there, I am astonishingly fashion-forward. I enjoy that.
5. I used to think that once our children moved out of the house, we'd sell our small house in the suburbs and move to the city full time. Now I imagine us buying a larger house and installing each child in a separate wing. Sort of like Dallas or Dynasty, except without the intrigue, rivalries, trophy wives, and shoulder pads. After all, if our kids can't make it on their own--if they end up total slackers--I might as well get some extra closet space.
6. Here's why this is an issue: I just discovered--as they casually alluded to it over dinner one night--that both my kids have absolute pitch, meaning (to you musicians out there) that if you ask them to sing a G, they can. Which means they both might end up as musicians. I'm OK with it. But if they go rock 'n' roll, I'm going to have to rethink my wardrobe. Sharon Osbourne will be my new mentor. I'm envisioning wearing a lot more leather than I currently do. (Which is none, except for shoes.)
7. Speaking of shoes, as much as I urge everyone to sort through their wardrobes and cull what doesn't work anymore, I'm always worried that I'm giving stuff to the thrift shop just as it's about to be revived. Are severely pointy-toed shoes coming back in? Or do Saks and Neimans continue to stock the same old Jimmy Choo and Manolo styles to confuse me? This puzzles me.
   
8. For a while there about five years ago, Lilly Pulitzer and I were likethis. We aren't any more, but I still have tons of Lilly in my (inadequate, too small, dark, old-fashioned) closets. I really should donate it to the thrift shop, but it cheers me up to open the closet door and see a kaleidoscope.
9. I can't even tell you how much I hate being a size 16. On the other hand, I can't imagine how much money I'd spend on clothes if I were a six 6.
10. Not surprisingly, one of my greatest pleasures is taking my size 2 daughter out shopping. I love teaching her about what's appropriate for her age and way of life--but I love buying her a Betsy Johnson short ball skirt because of the way she jumps and spins when she tries it on.
    

Photographs courtesy of 1. a fellow image thief 2. a dead link 3. Loro Piana stole courtesy of Bergdorf Goodman 4. galfred 5. Examiner.com 6. Mamapop 7. Saks 8. Simplified Bee 9. Reader's Digest 10. Betsey Johnson.com

Final thoughts on hair dye

It seems to me that I opened a bit of a can of worms by posting about coloring gray hair, so I thought I'd add some afterthoughts.

Like feminism, hair color is about choices.

There is so much pressure on women to continue to look young and hot by any means possible, and that's just wrong. We have a few other things on our minds, OK? I mean, even I do, and I blog about lipstick.

Here's the deal: since the majority of women are now coloring their hair, chances are that if you think you look great with gray hair, you do. So enjoy it.

But if you do choose to color your hair, please--I'm begging you--don't do it like a rock star:




Talk about COGNITIVE DISSONANCE™!

And does that last picture make anyone else think of the old Sesame Street song? "Three of these things belong together / three of these things are kind of the same ..."

Going Gray: Seven steps to looking fabulous

This is Part 3 of Poppy's Excellent Hair Dye Adventure. You might want to catch up by reading Part 1: Poppy is a Salon Color Ho, and Part 2: Drugstore Color.

OK, it's time to talk about the ultimate solution to the problem of having gray hair.

Which is to have gray hair.

And of course, that's always an option. In fact, Anne Kreamer wrote an entire book about it.

And eventually, when there is a high enough degree of COGNITIVE DISSONANCE* between my face and my hair, I'll do this myself. Maybe.

But here's the deal. You'll look older with gray hair. It's guaranteed. After all, many characteristics combine to create the appearance of youth: smooth, glowing skin, upright carriage, a slim waistline, firm muscles, and thick, healthy, shining hair that's not gray.

Wearing gray hair successfully

Gray hair sends the world a very loud message: "I am neither young, nor hip." So if you want to keep your hair gray, yet appear youthful and hip, you need to drown out that message.

When you look at these pictures of women rocking their gray hair, you'll notice that many of the models are prematurely gray. Yes, they have striking gray hair. They also have lots of it. It's beautifully styled. They're slim and beautifully groomed, and their skin looks great.

If you want your gray hair to evoke some of the same spirit, you should do your best to emulate them. Remember, looking great at our age involves compromise. Staying in the game takes some give and take and a certain amount of effort. Here are the essentials:

1. Don't wear your hair the way you did in high school. Yes, long-straight-parted-in-the-middle was the cool 'do in 1972, but if you wear your hair like that now, you'll look like a member of the Society for Creative Anachronism.

2. Get a really fun cut. Go wild with your style. I'm not saying you need to go short. Just have some shape cut into your style. And why not? The rest of us are spending hours in the salon or our bathroom with gloves and little dye brushes touching up our roots, then pampering our dyed tresses like Golem with his Precious. You won't have to do any of that, so spend the money you've saved on a chic cut and the time you've saved with a blowdryer and flat iron. YOU OWE IT TO US.

3. Keep your makeup, clothes, glasses, bags, and shoes current. Remember, your hair is telling everyone you're over the hill. Let everything else you wear contradict your hair.

4. Be impeccably groomed. Think Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada. Without the personality, of course. But preen like the gorgeous silver fox you are.

5. Rethink the color of your clothes, makeup, and jewelry. Gray hair is like a halo of cool light near your face. If you've been wearing warm tones, try switching to the cooler side of the spectrum: mint green rather than chartreuse; cherry red rather than geranium red; pinks, blues, lavender, black, and white. (Helen Mirren consistently gets this right.)

6. Make sure your teeth pass muster. Gray or white hair can make your teeth look dingy.

Snowy white hair spotlights the darkening that occurs as we age, simply by virtue of all that contrast. The whiter your hair is, the whiter you should try to get your teeth. This doesn't have to be a big deal--Crest Whitestrips do a great job--but it's something to keep in mind.

7. Stay in shape. Ay, there's the rub. My sister--my older sister--has never colored her hair in her life. She's also a life-long athlete who has always had an amazing figure.

When I was hugely pregnant at the age of 40 with my second child--probably weighing in at 190 pounds--she sent me a photograph from a cruise ship. She was wearing a bikini. And she looked good, gray hair and all. (Gee thanks, sis! Way to demoralize me. You've just won the gold medal for sibling rivalry.)

This is when I came up with this part of my theory. If you can rock a bikini, your hair can be as gray as you want. Remember that picture of Helen Mirren in a bikini that was all over the internet last summer?

But if you already look a little less than svelte ... if your youthful waistline is only a memory ... then you might want to rethink the wisdom of keeping your hair gray. Because gray hair plus dumpy body equals Aunt Bea.

(Now you know another reason why I dye my hair. It lets me dip into the cookie jar a bit more frequently!)

* From now on, when I use a word or phrase that really makes me sound smart, I'll use all caps. Otherwise you might miss it.

Poppy's Excellent Hair Dye Adventure, Part 2: Drugstore Color

This is Part 2 of Poppy's Excellent Hair Dye Adventure. You might want to complete the series by reading Part 1: Poppy is a Salon Color Ho and Part 3: How to be a Silver Fox.

Deciding to take the plunge into at-home hair coloring can be intimidating, so I encourage you to ask for help. And talk about your particular situation. Be frank about the kind of hair you have and how high-maintenance you feel like being; otherwise hair geeks might think that like them, you can think of no greater joy than barricading yourself in the bathroom for two hours a week to tweak your hair color.

Start by asking the person who cuts your hair for advice. Yes, salons often make a rigid distinction between cutters and colorists, but people who cut hair for a living know plenty about hair color. I mean, have you ever seen anyone working in a salon with virgin hair? They're getting their hair colored all the time. If you explain your situation--that you want to cover gray, but don't want to spend a fortune at the salon--you can get great advice about shades and techniques to try.

The people who work at Sally's Beauty Supply also know a lot. And people at MakeupAlley are extremely knowledgeable and helpful. And don't forget the 1-800 numbers printed on the boxes; the people who answer the phone are like the Butterball turkey experts, except about hair color. A friend of mine swears she is not completely bald (following two misguided attempts to go platinum blonde in a single week) solely due to Clairol's free help line.

Different kinds of drugstore color

There are three kinds of hair color: temporary, semi-permanent, and permanent. We're going to skip right over temporary rinses. They're really not designed to provide full coverage, and they're water soluble. You need something that will last past the first rainstorm.

Semi-permanent color like Clairol's Loving Care coat your hair enough to last through anywhere from 5 to 10 shampoos. They're gentle because they don't use ammonia or peroxide to open the hair's cuticle. That means you can't use this kind of product to change your hair color, and you can't lighten your hair with them. If you don't have a lot of gray (less than 25 percent) or your gray isn't resistant to color, this kind of product might be all you need.

Semi-permanent colors add, but can't lift color from your hair. This means they'll only affect the lightest hairs on your head, leaving your darker hairs unaffected. That's why you should always pick a shade that's at least one shade lighter than you want your hair to turn out. Your gray hair will be tinted that shade, and the rest of your hair will be unaffected. This creates a nice highlighted effect.

Demi-permanent color Hair color geeks toss this term around a lot, but you don't always see it in advertisements or packages of color. Also, manufacturers don't use the term consistently--L'Oreal calls this kind of color "non-permanent." This category is actually a stealth version of semi-permanent, so you need to understand what it is and how it works.

Demi-permanent color doesn't just coat the hair; it penetrates the hair somewhat in order to deposit the color. To do this, the formula uses a peroxide developer to lift the cuticle and get the color to penetrate.

This means that even when the color part of the formula fades away, the developer half of it will have bleached your hair a bit. If you use a black shade of demi-permanent color on your black hair, you can't expect your hair to stay black when the color wears off. You'll find that it's lightened a bit, and with lightening comes the dreaded brassiness.

Also, depending on your original shade and the condition of your hair, some demi-permanent color will penetrate the shaft, sometimes permanently. So proceed with caution. Don't use a demi-permanent hair color in Angelina Jolie black or Lucille Ball red on dry, porous platinum blonde hair, and then expect it to shampoo out. It won't happen.

That being said, if you don't have that much gray, a demi-permanent color might do the trick. Clairol's Natural Instincts is a demi-permanent hair color that I used it for years. Call it my gateway hair color. The shades are gorgeous, it does a good job of covering gray, and it doesn't contain any ammonia, so it actually smells nice. And the conditioner that comes in the box is excellent.

Here's a semi- and demi-permanent color trick: when I was getting a semi-permanent base color at the salon, they'd have me sit under a dryer for about 20 minutes. Heat helps this process along, so if your semi-permanent color isn't looking rich enough, this is something to try.

And of course, you realize that the times they mention on the box are hopelessly optimistic when it comes to covering gray, right? I always kept my color on for 10 minutes longer than the longest time they suggested.

Permanent Color

If, like me, you're more than 50 percent gray, you might want to take the leap to permanent color. I've never used a drugstore permanent color, but here's what I've heard:

• Revlon Colorsilk gets very high marks on MakeupAlley, especially for its brown shades.
• Clairol Nice 'n' Easy was designed to cover gray, so it's excellent for that. It's particularly popular for blonde shades. (Gray hair is even more difficult to cover if you're blonde, which frankly, is only fair, considering that blondes have spent years having more fun.)
• Frederic Fekkai gets high marks for every shade, but it should--the complete kit costs $30. Even if you're not going to spend $30, check out their site's video on how to select and apply hair color; it's very good.

If you want highlights

First of all, let me just say this: highlighting your hair at home is not for the faint of heart. Highlights are made with bleach, and bleach is always permanent. Also, with bleach, timing is critical. When you add pigment to your hair, timing is not all that critical--at least, when it comes to damaging your hair. Whether you leave your color on for 20 or 40 minutes, there's a limit to the amount of damage you can do. But bleach removes your hair's color starting with the blue end of the spectrum. Rinse it out too quickly, and you'll end up with orange hair. On the other hand, if you leave the bleach on too long, you'll fry your hair.

• The original home highlighting product, Clairol's ancient Frost and Tip now comes in different kits depending on whether you want to use a cap or paint on streaks. The latter is obviously your best bet if you decide to touch up salon highlights at home.
• Revlon's Frost and Glow comes in three different shades and gets rave reviews.
• L'Oreal's Couleur Experte is a kit with a base color and a highlighting shade for one stop shopping.
• Garnier Nutrisse Nourishing Multi-Lights highlighting kit got a rave review from my pal Badger, and her pictures look better than the pictures on Garnier's website, so check it out.

Dealing with roots

• Roux's Fanci-Full temporary rinse--yes, that stuff you used to see in your grandmother's bathroom--refreshes faded color and conceals roots. If you're using it just for your roots, it's best to decant a small amount into a spray bottle. Another trick is to pour a bit of the rinse into a zip-lock container, then use a sponge or brush to apply. You can keep a dedicated hair-touch-up sponge in the bag in your secret stash of hair color equipment. Next to your bong.
• Another product people like is Roux's Fanci-Full Touch-Up Stick.
• Or you could try a colored mascara ... although sounds a little ooky to me.
• I've already blogged about how much I love Clairol's Nice 'n' Easy Root Touch Up. Here's a tip: when I'm just doing my part and my temples, I don't end up using a lot of product, so I only mix up part of the formula. Then I keep the bottles, tray, brush and little gloves squirreled away in a Zip-Loc bag with my secret hair color stash. Next to my crack pipe.

Tricks to refresh your color

Sunshine and shampoo will eventually fade even the most permanent hair color, so here are some trick to keep your color looking fresh.

• When you're touching up your roots, mix a little of your colorant in your usual conditioner. When you have only a few minutes left of processing time on your roots, apply the mixture to everything but your touched-up roots. Leave on for two minutes, then rinse as usual.
• Use a color depositing shampoo/conditioner. I do this about every third or fourth shampoo. (More would darken my highlights.) I've blogged about this elsewhere.
• Clairol's Shine Happy Glossing Treatment refreshes color and adds shine.

OK, I don't know about you, but I'm way too exhausted to think about this stuff for one more minute.

But let me just say this: when it comes to home hair color, the internet is your friend. You should figure out what you want to buy before you're confronted with walls of intimidating hair color. But some of the manufacturers' sites aren't all that helpful. Based on their site alone, I'd say that L'Oreal is a company to avoid. You can't even tell which of their colors are semi- and which ones are permanent. How is that helpful? Pfft.

Whereas Clairol? I'm ready to invite Clairol for Thanksgiving dinner, that's how much I love their website. So that's something to keep in mind.

Elsewhere:

The Daily Glow has a great primer on hair color

Marie Claire has great advice on picking a hair color

Hair Boutique has more advice on coloring your hair at home.

An explanation of peroxide, how it works, and what the pros know is here.

Killer Strands is opinionated and somewhat loopy, but has lots of great information.

The great hair color debate: another place to compromise

This is Part 1 of Poppy's Excellent Hair Dye Adventure. You might want to finish the series by reading Part 2: Drugstore Color and Part 3: How to be a Silver Fox.

A college classmate of mine emailed me recently asking me--the recently minted expert in all things stylish and beautiful--where I stood on the subject of dyeing one's hair. It turns out I have a lot of thoughts on the subject. Too many to include in an email. Too many to include in a single blog post. So welcome to Poppy's Excellent Hair Dye Adventure, Part One.

Susie Sunshine, Goon Squad Sarah, and Poppy Buxom's dyed hair at last year's BlogHer conference

I should start by outing myself as insanely high-maintenance and extravagant. Because I can't stand gray hair. Snow white heads of hair a la Crystal Gale are all very well and good ... but my gene pool seems to run to years and years of dull and dreary salt-and-pepper.

Also, I'm hair-styling-challenged. When I was growing up, hair was long, straight, and parted in the middle. No one used rollers or blow-dryers. We washed our hair and let it dry. Which means I didn't even dip a toe into hair-styling waters until I was well into my 20s.

Now, to my mind, hair-styling is like downhill skiing or stock car racing--it's probably a good idea to get started when you're young. And since I didn't even try to blow my hair dry until I was in my 20s, I'm at a permanent disadvantage. Those long layers that look so great when somebody else styles them end up confounding my attempts. Which means a lot of the time, my hair looks messy and disheveled.

And what's worse than messy, disheveled hair? Messy disheveled hair that's gray. So my theory on hair color is this: I have to color my hair, because if I don't, I'll look like one of those wacky old peasant women who hung around watching people getting guillotined during the French Revolution, knitting and cackling in unholy glee.

L-R: Sydney Carlton in A Tale of Two Cities, a French soldier, and Poppy with her knitting

Or maybe, because I'm a singer, like a member of the chorus in an amateur production of Les Mis.

So I get my hair colored at Pascal Pour Elle, a la-di-dah salon in Glencoe, Illinois. (If you go there for color, ask for Priscilla. She's a genius.) I used to get a semi-permanent base color, to which were added highlight, lowlights, and a glaze for shine.

OK, this picture is maybe not so great of my gorgeous friend Liz
or even of me, but it does show off my high- and lowlights

I still do the same thing, but with permanent color for my base. The permanent color covers the gray better, but it does make for a more dramatic demarcation when the gray hair grows in. Around here, we call this "skunk head."

When I get skunk head, I start to freak out. I do everything I can to avoid standing next to anyone taller than 5' 10" because OMG they might notice my roots!!! Then, when I remember that I might have to bend over at some point, I head to the drugstore and pick up a box of Clairol's Nice and Easy Root Touch Up, which I've raved about before. I use this to touch up the roots along my part and my hairline. It works well, although I do end up like a guy with a comb-over--one stiff breeze and my subterfuge will be exposed.

Obviously, I have a hair-color fixation. Having me list alternatives to going to the salon every month smacks of hypocrisy. As much as I resent the time and money I spend there, I'm satisfied with things at present.

But let's assume that unlike me, you're not mental on the subject of hair color. Maybe you don't want to spend that much money. Maybe you don't want to go through all that angst. Maybe you want to stand next to as many tall people as possible. What are your options?

Tune in tomorrow for Poppy's Excellent Hair Dye Adventure, Part 2: Drugstore Color.

The Five Cs of keeping your look fresh: Compromise

Hi there! If you've come over here from Jennsylvania, greetings! Just so you know, I've just spent a month blogging about things you can do to look younger. Feel free to look around and check them out. And I'm not being pushy. Really, I'm not. I just thought you should know that I don't always blog about my weird taste in shoes. (And if you have a blog you'd like me to check out, please leave a comment. I promise to click back and check you out.) Thanks--and make yourselves at home!

One of the pleasures of having traveled down the fashion road a good long time is being able to rejoice (whole-heartedly and to the accompaniment of cash registers ringing) when a favorite style is revived.

Confession: clogs are one of my favorites.

I wore them when they were first in style (early adopters were wearing them as early as the late 1960s, but for most of us, clogs didn't go mainstream until the 1970s.) The eighties were a clog-free decade, and the nineties my cravings for clunky shoes were pretty much satisfied by a single pair of Doc Martens. But in the 2000s, as soon as I tried on my first Mephisto Satty clog,I fell, and fell hard. They had all the comfort of the traditional clog, but with a cork bottom encased in some kind of miracle man-made material for a soft, cat-like tread. I think I went through three or four of this style in black, and two more pairs in a darling chocolate brown suede. For knocking around the house, tidying up, doing laundry, cooking, and doing dishes, nothing beat my uniform of jeans, t-shirt, and clogs.

I was in good company. Chefs, surgeons, nurses, and anyone who stands for hours and hours wear clogs. Women with wide feet swear by them. But they've always had a practical reason to wear clogs. No one was wearing them because they were in style.

Clogs as seen on the Chanel runway for the Spring, 2010 collection. Photo courtesy of style.com

Well, they're back in style. Chanel showed clogs for this spring, complete with big interlocking Cs on them. So if you want to spend $790 for a pair, feel free.

Fashionista early re-adopters Ashley Olsen, Shenae Grimes, and Mary-Kate Olsen wearing clogs. Photo courtesy of CollegeFashion

Naturally, the news that clogs were actually considered stylish made my heart leap with joy. But then I discovered that there is a very loud anti-clog backlash, particularly amongst young fashion bloggers. Only the very, very avant-garde express any interest whatsoever in wearing clogs.

This is because women in their twenties equate clogs with middle school. Or with moms. For these younger women, clogs have really negative connotations. And that's a lot of baggage for an already heavy shoe to have to carry.

But for me ... the connotations are positive. I wore clogs when I was in my teens, so to me, clogs are cute. In an ugly-is-beautiful way. And young. And they're comfortable. And they make my feet look tiny.

And anyway, big clunky shoes have been in style for a few years now. After all, you can take only so many years of wearing thin-soled pointy-toed stilettos before everyone needs a break. You've noticed all the platforms, wedges, and clogs in the stores, right? That break is occurring now.

How to wear clogs

How does a woman of a certain age wear clogs without looking insanely frumpy or insanely trendy?

You have to compromise.

Compromise is the secret to style success

And this goes for almost everyone. A very young, very thin art student in New York City can wear pretty much anything. To the likes of us, a vintage slip, wellies, and a Mr. Rogers cardigan looks like laundry day at Goodwill, but if she has second thoughts, our slim New York art student can say it's performance art. But she represents about .0001 percent of the population.

The rest of us, who are a bit older and (dare I say it?) a bit more chubby, have to try a bit harder to make things work.

How I plan to wear clogs out in public

First of all, I'm ignoring the designer versions. They're incredibly expensive and are even clunkier than the Mephisto clogs pictured above. The good news is that the non-designer clogs are more refined and elegant-looking than the ones by Chanel, Prada, and Miu-Miu. Even the $300 clogs at Anthropologie are insanely clunky-looking in comparison to some far less expensive ones I've seen.

Once in a normal price range (and I really think you could stay well below $150 even for a pair of superbly well made clogs) I looked for something with a heel and a low-cut vamp to lengthen the leg. High-cut shoe vamps are very trendy right now, but you'd need legs like Catwoman to get away with a high cut vamp added to the general clunkiness of a clog.

Then I looked for studs, laser cutting, or some other some kind of detailing to refine the look even more.

Here are my semi-finalists:

Biviel laser cut taupe Nubuck clogs from Zappos

Steven Barc suede from Zappos $139

Steven by Steve Madden Brisi clog at Shoes.com for $139

And the pair I actually paid good money for?

TopShop's $80 Ollie clog

Please don't mock me!

Now, how am I going to make them look modern, and not like something I've kept in my closet for 30 years?

If I were slim, I'd wear them with with cropped pants, or with my pants rolled up. But I'm sure they'll be fine with straight-legged pants.

I might rock a 70s revival and wear them with flared white jeans.

Or, for a combination military/70s boho look, with a knee-length olive green pencil skirt, a long-sleeved jersey, one of my new long fluffy scarves, and a luggage colored cross-body bag.

I might even try them with tights.

Where would I wear these? Lunch with a girlfriend, a museum outing, BlogHer's annual conference in New York.

So Internet, have I gone mental? If you ever wore clogs, would you wear them again?

The Five Cs of keeping your look fresh: Counting the Cost

Now that I've spent 30 days telling you how to look younger, I think it's time to discuss some of the other subjects I mentioned in The Beauty Boomer Manifesto. One of these is the cost of our clothes.

Earth to fashion magazines: "investment dressing" is an oxymoron

If you've been around as long as I have, you've been told over and over again to spend heavily on your basics. To sink real money into shoes, bag, wool overcoats, and suits. They tell you you won't look polished or professional if you pay less, and that nobody will take you seriously in your $50 shoes and $100 coat. They tell you it's OK to break the bank on these important pieces because they're an investment.

I cry bullshit.

Clothing isn't an investment

On the spectrum of necessary expenses, clothes come in somewhere between groceries and a new car.

First of all, clothes are a consumable with a shelf life. It might not be the shelf-life of a Twinkie, but clothing isn't gold bullion; it doesn't last forever.

Second, as soon as you drive that outfit home from Macy's, it loses 30 percent of its value. So unless you're buying Fortuny evening gowns at thrift shops and flipping them to the Met's Costume collection, you're not making money on clothes.

Now, the nice thing about reaching our stage in life (I won't call us middle-aged for fear of offending Rosina) is that it's perfectly appropriate to spend heavily on items that are going to get a lot of wear. Or on items that have a serious job to do. Or that award you serious joy points.

The other day I was at Forever XXI with my daughter, shopping for Easter finery. I was waiting to pay for her new dress, and it occurred to me that the bra I was wearing cost more than the dress I was buying for my daughter. And as screwy as that sounds--how can two straps and a quart of spandex cost more than an entire dress--it's a perfect example of the point I'm trying to make.

My daughter will outgrow a dress in less time than it takes me to fold a load of laundry. It would be a ridiculous waste to spend Lilly Pulitzer-levels of money on a dress for her.

On the other hand, there is no sum too high to spend to get the girls--well, if not too high, then high enough. Somewhat perky. And unfortunately, I'll be wearing the same size for long enough to amortize the cost of my expensive bra.

Sometimes I think I should be wearing a sign that says "Body by Wacoal."

So don't let a sales associate or a fashion magazine talk you into spending more than you're comfortable with. If you hear the phrase "investment dressing," my advice is to stick your fingers in your ears and go "la la la la I can't heeeeeeaaaaarrrr you."

Unless the piece in question gives you serious joy. Or earns its keep. Which in my case, wouldn't be a pink and green shift dress--but would be a great-fitting bra.

This post brought to you by Poppy's collection of Wacoal bras.

30 Days to 10 years younger--10 minute tips. Tip 30: Play

Clothing is functional.














Style is fun.













Skin care is grooming.

Makeup is a magic carpet.

Your "real" jewelry tells the world who you are.

Costume jewelry is just that. A costume.

And nobody really needs a pair of purple satin gloves.

You don't need to pay attention to fashion. But why would you deny yourself this chance at self-expression, this chance to create, this pleasure?

Clothes and makeup are Legos and finger paint for grown-ups.

I want you to play.