Confessions of a Product Whore, or, these Boots are made for shopping

My love for the combination of my Clarisonic Mia and Cetaphil cleanser continues. It's keeping my skin clean, clear, and soft.  My other skin products are making me happy, too.

But no matter how happy I am with my current regimen, I can't resist the lure of new beauty products. This is particularly true when I travel and see stuff I can't find in the States. Which explains the £200 I spent at Boots when I was in England last August.

That's the equivalent of $350. What can I say? Product junkies are like sharks. We must keep moving forward or we die.

So anyway, here's some of the additions I made to my batterie de toilette. Heh. To start off, I got a pot of German Nivea.


I have no idea why German Nivea is supposed to be so much better than the Nivea you get in America, which is made in Mexico. But it has become kind of cult-y. Bloggers and reviewers on Makeup Alley and Amazon are claiming it's as effective as Crème de la Mer, which costs $165/oz. All I know is that my grandmother used Nivea Skin Oil and had beautiful skin, so into the basket it went. And I love it. It's much fluffier than Eucerin, but just as wonderful for soothing super dry skin.

I also bought a bottle of Therapist's Secret Facial Oil, from the Sanctuary Spa line carried at Boots. It's a mixture of many different pure oils: sunflower seed, rosehip, wheat germ, and jojoba seed, with some essential oils of rose and frankincense, which leaves it smelling like midnight mass on Christmas Eve.

It's meant to be used a drop at a time, alone or as a first layer under your regular moisturizer. It's fantastic, especially considering how dry my skin is getting now that the weather is getting chilly.

I also bought a pot of The Secret is Out Lift Lift & Repair Night Cream by Dr. Nick Lowe:

I picked it out because I was pretty sure I couldn't get it in the States. Also, it has Sodium Hyaluronate, Hexapeptide-9, various anti-oxidant fruit ingredients--but no retinols or acids. Because I wanted a nice moisturizing cream that didn't make me peel. More on that later.

Oh, and in my States side wanderings, I picked up a bottle of DHC Mild Touch Cleansing Oil at a local branch of Mitsuwa, a big Japanese grocery store chain.

When I'm wearing RuPaul levels of spackle, I like to double cleanse--one step to dissolve the makeup and another go to get clean. This oil is great at dissolving and rinsing away makeup as a first step before I use the Clarisonic with Cetaphil.

Mindless extravagance or canny shopping? You be the judge in my next post, when I reveal my plans for these products.

What I Wore Today--in poetic form

The three piece Eileen Fisher outfit I ordered from Neiman Marcus has arrived, been tried on, and worn to three different events: a board meeting, a cocktail party, and a memorial service. If I were tracking cost-per-wear, I'd be pleased.

However, I'll admit that I had to use costume tape to hold the dress in place. The dress fits beautifully, but that Balcony of mine is so crowded that my underpinnings are always threatening to embarrass me. Also, the neckline isn't that low, but somehow, I seem to come equipped with too much cleavage.

At times like this, my BFF is Hollywood Fashion Tape.

This stuff is the velvet rope that controls the crowds on your Balcony.

I wore these shoes with it

from Taryn Rose's new line. You know, the foot doctor who became a shoe designer? Apparently she sold the rights to her name and then turned around and started Haute Fouture. The shoes are rather old lady ... but in a way I like.

These are wonderfully comfortable when you put them on. The leather is soft, the wedge is comfortable, and the elastic straps accommodate my high instep. However, a cocktail party is a cocktail party, and honestly, I think a thoughtful hostess should greet everyone with a nice pair of fluffy slippers. Because after a couple of hours of standing, even these shoes hurt.

Oh, I also carried my vintage Chanel bag with the giant gold interlocking CCs.

Where's the poem, you ask. Well. You know the old rhyme about what a bride should wear on her wedding day? Here's my version:

Something old (last summer's semi-orthopedic Taryn Rose-designed old lady shoes)
Something new (the dress, belt, and sweater)
Something vintage (my bag)

Something glue (Hollywood Fashion Tape)

Some inspiration to start your weekend ... Cindy Joseph's second act

Cindy Joseph, a pioneering over-50 model, has started a makeup line called Boom. How can a self-respecting Beauty Boomer not want to celebrate that? View the video and enjoy!

Happy weekend, everybody!

Short-waisted in a sea of belts

Garnet Hill printed cardigan and gray suede obi that would look terrible on me

Ordinarily, I eschew belts. I'm short-waisted, meaning there was a mix-up at the parts factory. I'm 5' 7", and apparently (and I'm not blaming anyone, parents) someone took a torso designed for someone who is 5' 5", and matched it with a pair of 5' 8" legs. I'm not complaining about having long legs, exactly, but being both short-waisted and busty creates quite a wardrobe challenge.

What Not to Wear if you're busty

Short answer? Everything.

OK, seriously, here's what I try to avoid wearing anywhere near my balcony: pleats, ruffles, pockets, shirring, or gathers over the bustline. Huge collars. Decorative appliqued rosettes. Big splashy prints (yes, I love Lilly, but not the blouses.) Anything double-breasted. Those long necklaces that you see all over the place these days. Statement necklaces unless they end at the collarbone.

Basically, everything that's been in style for the past five years.

What Not to Wear if you're short-waisted

Here's what I don't wear because I'm short-waisted: tuck-in tops. Belts. And suspenders, no matter how adorable and Urkel-ish I'd look in them.

But this outfit from Eileen Fisher has a great work-around.

Eileen Fisher sleeveless ponte dress, leather obi belt, and merino wool shawl-collared cardigan from Neiman Marcus

Yes, it has a belt, but it's an obi, meaning there are no belt loops. That means I can place the belt slightly below my actual waistline. And it's much narrower than the gray one from Garnet Hill. Also, in this case, the belt is the same color as the dress. Contrasting colors break you up and make you look shorter and wider. Wearing all one color head-to-toe is the most slimming and lengthening thing you can do. The long laces hang down in the front, adding to the vertical effect. Also, only the center of the belt is showing, because the whole thing is covered by a 3/4 length shawl-collared cardigan.

I'm delighted with this outfit because I took a chance and ordered it on-line, but it works brilliantly, so no trip to the post office, yay!

Also because I went through the entire line of reasoning in the paragraph above, and it turns out I was right, which proves I'm smart.

Also all of the pieces will work with other things in my wardrobe. Except maybe the belt. It might not play well with others.

Hmmm. I'll be keeping an eye on that belt.

Yes, Paola, I remembered the sugar, or, the $#*! I bought yesterday.

In my report about yesterday's shopping trip to Neiman Marcus, I should really focus on what I didn't buy. Or what I bought that I didn't expect to buy.

I love shopping on line, but a trip to a brick-and-mortar store reminds me that you really have to try things on. Even if you know the designer really well.

Have you ever watched How Do I Look? It's a reality show on the Style network. A woman badly in need of a makeover tries on three sets of clothes picked out by a professional stylist as well as two of her friends. It's cheesey and formulaic, but it can be educational. Watch a few episodes and you'll start believing that you should only try on clothes you hate. The women on the show always seem to fall in love with stuff they despised when they saw it on the hanger.

That's because you can't tell whether a garment will flatter you by looking at a picture. Or by looking at it on a hanger.

Case in point--yesterday I headed straight to the Lafayette 148 section, because I love the line. The clothes are made from gorgeous fabric. They're beautifully made. And best of all, they come in a range of sizes.

I tried on two jackets, and they looked completely different on me.  The one I bought

is slimming. The one I didn't buy (which I liked better, but can't find on line) was cobalt blue. I adored the color. It's fashionable again for the first time since 1986. It's all over the place this fall. But the jacket buttoned so high on the chest that it gave me the dreaded Bolster Bosom. I looked like I was trying to smuggle a dachshund through customs.

I picked out this black pencil skirt, too, in the newly-fashionable just-below-the-knee length. Not exciting, but useful. And slimming. And the fabric feels great. (Let's hope that it doesn't make me look like my mother.)

Then I lost my St. John virginity. I've always summarily dismissed St. John. Not only is it crazy expensive, it's way too Old Lady for the youthful likes of me, yo. But the sales associate dragged me over to the St John sales rack and grabbed this black knit jacket with grommet trim, and it looks fantastic on. The picture doesn't do it justice. Really.

(Obviously it's time to make the down payment on my retirement community condo.)

OK, shoes! Zappos has made on-line shoe shopping so easy ... but sometimes, you really need to see and touch the merchandise.

I tried on two pairs of boots. First I tried on a pair of Chanel ankle boots. I didn't really like them. I only tried them on because they were the last pair in the store, the sales associate was pushy, and what the hell, you know? How often do you get to try on a pair of Chanel boots?

I can't find a picture of them anywhere so I can't show them. They were black with a low, chunky heel and some quilting. All that was to the good. But they had one of those Chanelesque capped toes covered in black velvet. It looked ... well, I don't want to harsh on the Chanel capped toe, but velvet? On a boot? Is stupid.

Then I fell madly in love with these Elie Tahari black suede beauties.

And fell down dead when I checked the price and discovered that for boots at NM, they're actually not that expensive.

There's not a website anywhere that does these boots justice. They are far more luxurious and far less ho-bag than you'd think. The suede is so soft. They're actually comfortable (for a pair of stilts.) The snakeskin trim is subtle, and the other side of the shaft features tiny laser cutouts.

I know. Super high heel, perishable suede--with holes in it! Perfect for winter in Chicago.

If I'd bought these boots, I'd have worn them on maybe half a dozen occasions. When Chicago promised neither to rain nor snow, and the rest of my outfit was worthy.

Impractical? No occasion to wear them? I didn't care. I was going to buy them.

But then I tried them on and discovered that I couldn't get them zipped over my calves. But I'm consoling myself that at least I didn't buy them on line, only to have to ship them back.

Whew! The only thing more tiring than trying on clothes is blogging about the process. But let me, your invisible internet friend, beg you not to desert brick and mortar stores. Let's hear it for brick and mortar! And pushy saleswomen who trap you in a dressing room and bring in stuff you wouldn't ordinarily try on, i.e., every single thing I bought yesterday.

This one's for blackbird, or, $#*! I bought

Blackbird asked me why I had such fabulous accessories and so little in the way of interesting (read: expensive) clothing. 

The answer is simple. It's just no fun to shop when you're feeling fat. Not to mention that the truly fashion-y fashionable clothes only go up to a size 10.

But then I thought, why am I punishing myself for being fat? I mean, yes, it's easier to amortize the cost of a great bag, and yes, you can dress up a little black dress with fantastic jewelry ... but don't I deserve a new little black dress once in a while? And while I'm at it, a really nice one?

And I already know I have a black-tie New Year's party to go to. So I bought this. It's the right cut for an hourglass figure. It won't require anything tricky (read: strapless) in the way of undergarments. And it has sleeves.

All I can say is I hope bird is satisfied.

Let's hope it fits!