My iPhone wrote this post

I like to think that my particular blogging forte is Deep Thoughts on Shallow Subjects, but I'm a little short on fashion and style thoughts these days. (This will no doubt please the two or three weirdos readers who would rather hear about my life.) Therefore, the following is a version of My Life in Pictures. With commentary. And a minimum of whining.

A few weeks ago, Mr. Buxom and I drove out to Hancock, New York, to watch our kids in a production of Les Miserables.

Here they are being peasants. Miss Buxom's cheeks are extremely red, partly because of the lavish way I applied Chanel's Rouge (from the Fall 2011 Byzantine collection.) But also because she was coming down with walking pneumonia.

After two days of driving from New York, we were greeted by the news that our house, which had been full of painters for five days, was going to be full of painters for Quite a While Longer. The painting, it took much time. The patching, it went on for many days. Only to be followed by the sanding, and the depositing of lavish amounts of plaster dust.

Please notice the lovely soft celadon/light avocado green in my dining room. Also note the Chinoiserie curtains. (Honestly, someone with such Old Lady taste in interior decorating should shut her pie hole about fashion, don't you agree?)

See the trim over the sideboard? It used to be two asymmetrical white rectangles. I asked the painter to make it one big rectangle. Now I can hang art. Or a mirror. Or sconces! Maybe all three! What joy.

Wow, I really need to polish those candlesticks. And put everything back where it belongs.

Study in chocolate

Mr. Buxom's study used to have navy blue wallpaper with a pattern of stars. Now it's painted chocolate brown. I hope bird approves, as Mr. Buxom's study doubles as bird's guest quarters. Please note the dramatic effect of the super dark walls only partially illuminated by the afternoon sun. That, my friends, is Style.

OK, now we're up to a week ago.

On our way to take Miss Buxom to the doctor to hear the bad news about the walking pneumonia (which I've decided to call La Pneumonie Marchante out of free-floating Francophilia, and because she contracted it while she was being a French Peasant, and also because the French pronounce the "P" in "Pneumonie," which amuses me to no end) we discovered that the previous evening's torrential rain storms had caused flooding in my basement. And some destruction of drywall and such.

So. Disease, dust, disaster, distruction ... somehow I'm not doing a lot of shopping.

Thank goodness I'm still in deep, deep love with the bag I bought last April.

I've also fallen down on the grooming front. 

Faux Fuschia, please note that it's not chipped, per se. But it's still revolting.

Ooh-la-la! Those nails are misérables! I desperately need a new Shellac manicure. I've put  off my re-Shellacing due to zee Puh-nee-mo-nie, the painting, and the flooding, but I'll be dealing with it very, very soon.

Because? On Wednesday, we're flying to London.

p.s. The house is still at sixes and sevens, but Miss Buxom is just fine.

L'Oreal's Double Extend with Lash Boosting Serum works! And it won't make you blind.

Jan Marini's late, lamented, and very naughty lash growth serum

Like a lot of other idiots, when Jan Marini came out with her original Age Intervention eyelash growing serum, I bought a tube of the stuff. Even though it cost--wait for it--$160. The shame! It burns.

There was some science blather that didn't really interest me about how it worked--I knew it started as glaucoma medication, contained prostaglandin, and worked by arresting the eyelashes' growth/shedding cycle. The main thing was that it worked.

But then my gorgeous friend Liz saw an article saying that using this miracle lash growing potion was a really bad idea. It mentioned scary things like iris color change and blindness and whatnot. And Jan Marini recalled the product. So I stopped using it, and my eyelashes devolved to their original wispy, pathetic state.

Then, the other day, I spotted L'Oreal's Double Extend mascara. I've been using L'Oreal's Double Extend mascaras for years, so I was intrigued. Because this formula included lash boosting serum.

You're familiar with these two-ended mascaras, right? One end is color, and the other is usually primer. To the eyelash-challenged, these formulas are a godsend, and well worth taking a little extra time to apply.

L'Oreal's Double Extend (with lash boosting serum!) works just like the usual two-step mascara. I curl my lashes, apply one coat of primer (with lash boosting serum!) and then top with the color coat. As with other two-step mascaras, I find I have to apply the color coat very lightly to prevent clumping.

The result? Long, dark, thick lashes that don't smear, flake, or give me morning-after raccoon eyes.

And I swear my lashes are looking longer. And I've only been using it once or twice a week. What with summer road trips, the house being full of painters, and Chicago being struck by heavy rains followed by flooding in my basement, I just haven't really been in the mood to slap on a lot of spackle.

At any rate, two enthusiastic thumbs up for L'Oreal's Double Extend (with lash boosting serum!) It works as well as their usual mascaras, and it seems to be doing something to beef up my feeble fringe.

The Clarisonic Mia and Cetaphil: a match made in heaven

A few months ago, I volunteered to test-drive the Clarisonic Mia for a BlogHer Style post. I'd heard a lot of great things about the Mia, and I figured this would be a great excuse to buy one and see whether it lived up to the hype. But BlogHer didn't want me to review just the Mia, because reviewing a single item would seem like an endorsement. Instead, they wanted me to review three different face brushes, and talk about their pros and cons.

That killed the idea for me. I like to shop, but buying three spinning face brushes is excessive, even for me. But I bought a Mia, anyway, figuring I could review it here.

Let me start by saying that I've used a Sonicare toothbrush for years, and the technology of the Mia is very similar. The bristles move, but the secret is the sound waves. These things basically hum the dirt off.

Having used a Sonicare, I predicted that

1. initially the Mia's noise would bother me; 
2. I would get used to the noise very quickly, and
3. rapidly reach the point where if I didn't use the Mia, my face wouldn't feel clean.

I'm happy to say that all of my predictions came true.

The first time I used the Mia, I was bothered by the buzzing sensation that I felt when I did the sides of my nose and the area over my sinuses. I can only describe the sensation as WHOA that feels weird. But by the third time I used the Mia, I was used to it.

When I rinsed, I definitely felt cleaner, but my skin wasn't stripped. After a few days, my skin started to look rosier and had a healthier glow.

With that little extra bit of exfoliation, my various moisturizers seemed to sink in faster, and my vitamin C serum felt ... extra tart. My makeup applied better, too.

I have fine, dry, freckly, burns-but-doesn't-tan skin, so the size of my pores hasn't really been an issue. Still, I was delighted to notice that after about a month of using the Clarisonic, my pores had dropped a dress size.

The best part? A few milia that had been troubling me completely cleared up. Within six weeks of starting to use the Mia, they were all gone.

One thing I wasn't crazy about was the cleanser that came with it. The Mia came with a sample-sized tube of a Clarisonic cleanser with green tea extract. It certainly left my skin feeling clean.

But after about a week, I noticed a slightly crinklier appearance to the skin under my eyes. It reminded me of my mother's face, and not in a good way.  Since I was running out of the little sample-sized tube, I thought I'd try something milder.

Now, Cetaphil is about the mildest cleanser around. It's one of those legendary products whose popularity mystifies me. It's always getting recommended by famous dermatologists and Paula Begoun, the Cosmetics Cop. Cetaphil makes the Top Beauty Products lists in InStyle and Allure. It's inexpensive, widely available, unscented, and inoffensive.

I was OK with Cetaphil's bland, boring, goody-goody image, but I never felt that it got my face clean. It's so mild that it feels like I'm rubbing hand lotion or ladies' shaving cream on my face.

But I figured the cleansing power of the Cetaphil would be increased by the high tech whizziness of the Sonicare Mia. And I was right! While Cetaphil alone leaves me feeling vaguely coated (not quite slimed a la Ghostbusters, but something akin to it) the combination of very gentle Cetaphil and a high-tech Clarisonic is complexion perfection. I get clean but my skin feels soft and moisturized.

Also, on days when I'm wearing a lot of spackle, I double cleanse. Not by using a fancy Japanese oil like the cool kids, but by using Cetaphil twice. I massage in some Cetaphil, then tissue it off. Then I use more Cetaphil, this time with the Mia.

Double cleansing with only one product? And a cheap one, at that? #Winning!

OK, why am I bringing this up now, when the Mia has been around forever?

Two reasons. First of all, do not expect the trendiest of the trendy from me, for I am now and have always been the last by whom the new is tried.

Second, you have the opportunity to score a Mia for a pretty good price right now. There are some really cute colors available at the Nordstrom Anniversary sale--coral! Fuschia! Zebra print!

The Nordstrom models cost $149, but come with two brush heads, and since a replacement brush retails for $25, this is a pretty good deal.

And since Nordstrom is offering the latest and greatest in cute Mia designs, other retailers are offering the older colors for a better price. Check Amazon and you'll see Mias being offered by several retailers. You can also get replacement brush heads there.

(BTW, Ulta is offering their 20 percent off everything in the store. Watch your mailboxes for the coupon. I don't know whether this will work for a Mia, but at least it will work for the Cetaphil.)

What does "tinted moisturizer" mean to you?

I realize that all I seem to do these days is whine, but bear with me.

I've been on the road a lot lately, having driven with Mr. Buxom to a very remote part of New York to watch our kids perform in a production of Les Miserables.

(Idiotic aside: I'm sure the reaction to seeing your 14-year-old dressed as a whore for the Lovely Ladies number isn't supposed to be "OMG she's adorable!")

Eventually we'll be home, and the painters will leave, and I'll be through with Phase 1 of the South Beach Diet, and I'll cheer up.

Meanwhile, everything makes me cranky.

Like Estee Lauder. There was a time when I wrote Estee Lauder off as a cosmetics company for Old Ladies. But then they came out with Idealist. And Resilience Lift moisturizer. And DayWear tinted moisturizer. And I unbent and bought them. And they were good.

But. These excellent skincare products are no longer available in their original state. Idealist has been new-and-improved until it's unrecognizable. The same thing goes for Resilience Lift, once my absolutely favorite daytime moisturizer.

And now Estee Lauder has reformulated my beloved DayWear tinted moisturizer. Which is maddening, because in the last three years, I've probably gone through three tubes of the stuff.

The original came in different shades, was light, moisturizing, and so sheer that color matching wasn't an issue.

The replacement is this stuff with encapsulated bronzing beads in it. It's a very pale cream, but when you rub it on your face, the bronzing beads burst and add a tint. Which makes me look like an Oompah Loompah.

I've been searching for a replacement. So far I've popped for the famous Laura Mercier product, which isn't moisturizing enough for my middle-aged skin. The shade I was "color-matched" for is kind of off.

I also tried the Chanel Hydramax version. It smells pleasant and seems OK, but again, the color is slightly off.

Why is this so difficult? I always thought that tinted moisturizers were moisturizers with just a hint of tint. Like, say, what would happen if you took your SPF moisturizer and mixed in a little foundation. Which would keep the titanium dioxide from making you look super pale, and provide a little coverage to even your complexion. How do I know this? Believe it or not, back in the olden days, I used to do this myself.  I know, I know--it's the makeup equivalent of baking my own bread. But it worked because the foundation I started with was already a good match for my skin.

To my way of thinking, the tint in a tinted moisturizer isn't supposed to be a bronzer. And when you use a tinted moisturizer, you shouldn't have to worry about a demarcation line at the jaw. The tint should be so small a proportion of the product that you shouldn't be able to see where it leaves off and your neck begins.

The stuff I keep buying seems suspiciously like foundation. OK, it's not  What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? full-coverage spackle. But it's not really tinted moisturizer.

Am I completely off base?

And does anyone have any product recommendations?

For want of a nail

Right around the time we start thinking about wearing sandals in Chicago, I managed to drop a toolbox on my left foot, and gave myself an owie on my big toe.

The results were just as unattractive as you'd think. I had quite a bit of bruising, and I broke my big toenail. It looked ghastly. It's better now, but I'm off pedicures and sandals and all that wonderful summer stuff until it's  grown out. Toenails grow really slowly, and I'm expecting to make it all the way through the summer without wearing sandals. At least, when I'm trying to look good.

It hardly seems fair. Here I am, not even half way through my fifties, and I've discovered another body part that, out of consideration for my fellow man, really should be covered up.

I mean, it's not like I was looking for work as a foot model, but my feet were OK. People didn't point and stare. But now my toes have joined my upper arms, thighs, buttocks, etc., etc., as body parts that must remain hidden, if only out of politeness.

And I've discovered something. What they always say is true; your shoes really do determine your outfit.

I went through my summer shoes and discovered that they're pretty much all open-toed. I have some pumps and slingbacks that would work for summer, but I didn't have anything that would work with casual pants.

I started shopping. I looked for ballerina slippers, because that was the one closed-toe shoe I could think of that wouldn't be hot or heavy looking. I got some subtle, non-logo-centric Tory Burch ones

and some loud, logo-rific Chanel ones

and these Prada driving shoes, but in beige.

But when I got my new loot home, I realized I didn't have anything to wear with them. My new flats looked completely stupid with every single pair of  pants I own (except--maybe--the bronze woven Tory Burch ones with my cargo pants rolled up.) The rest were all too long and too wide for flat shoes.

So I bought some skinny jeans. I know. Skinny jeans and Poppy shouldn't appear in the same sentence. But you can't wear ballerina flats with bootcuts. Your pants can be cropped, straight, or skinny, but not flared.

I also bought a pair of J. Crew Minnie cropped pants. They're OK. (Actually, they're J. Crew's most popular style. But on me, they're just OK.)

So here I am, with three pairs of shoes, two pairs of pants, and nothing to wear.

Stupid toenail! Grow! So I can wear my sandals.

Overheard in the dressing room at Banana Republic

Ball park hot dogs, here I come!

It's genius. I may never have to sweep the floor again!

Do these pants make my feet look big?

Would you look at that? I have hips!

OK, those people who tell you that you can combine anything,
as long as you look really happy and confident? Clearly wrong.

Poppy gets campy.

Mr. Buxom and I are on our way to Hancock, New York to watch our kids in their end-of-session performances at French Woods Festival of the Arts. (I'm linking to them because if your kids are performers or are interested in the arts, it's an amazing camp. They have musical theater, drama, dance, circus, orchestra, jazz, rock, DJ'ing, filmmaking, you name it.)

And let's get real. Overnight camp--with both kids at once? Not too shabby. I mean, they could be making me those ashtrays out of little tiles that my generation was making back in the 60s and I'd be all "Kids, these are the greatest ashtrays in the history of EVER." And I don't even smoke. But when your kids have been gone for six weeks, you can be patient and supportive and loving like that.

Obligatory fashion post: I look like dog vomit today. I mean, we're driving from Chicago to the Catskills so my primary concerns are practicality and comfort. But why did I wear a brand-new white t-shirt when I was obviously going to hit a bump in the road and splash McDonald's coffee all over my balcony? (It happens every time we're on a long road trip. Honestly, I should keep a lobster bib in the glove box.)

Ugh! And to the coffee-spattered t-shirt imagine, if you will, an ancient pair of cargo pants rolled up above the ankles and a pair of embroidered grosgrain flip flops with martinis all over them. What a knock-out ensemble.

Luckily for me I'm a blogger, not a celebrity, or the Fug gals would never let me hear the last of it.

And hey, people who tell you that you can totally upgrade your outfit with great accessories are full of it. I was wearing two AWESOME Hermes bangles, and I was carrying a fabulous Chanel bag, yet when I passed my fellow travelers in the rest stops on Route 80 in Ohio, they invariably averted their eyes.

The lesson? Even a Chanel bag is powerless in the face of a pair of baggy cargo pants.

BTW, the lippie is Chanel's Rouge Double Intensité in Rose Morganite. It's from the Fall, 2011 collection. The good news is it's not a limited edition and will be added to their permanent line. It's a lovely slightly browned pink in a double-ended wand. You apply the color and let set for a minute, then top with the gloss. Two very enthusiastic thumbs up--it's lovely and lasted through a delicious Indian dinner and lots of New York State Riesling.

Have a great weekend! (And try not to spill coffee on your balcony.)

Poppy Print Marimekko Converse Chucks

You know what? I don't care if they are too young for me.

I'm getting a pair.

They're my namesake! Sort of. And after all, if they make me feel too mutton-dressed-as-lamb, I can hand them down to my daughter.

See them--and other Marimekko designs for Fall, 2011--at the Converse website.

Poppy orders J. Crew Platinum Tweed Jacket, Goes Postal

I went to the J. Crew site the other day, inspired by a Une Femme's post about their leopard print silk/cashmere scarf. I ended up ordering the scarf and five more pieces. More about them later. Right now, it's all about

The Platinum Tweed Jacket

J. Crew Platinum Tweed Jacket $475

Verdict? Fail.

My first issue was with the fit. See how the jacket has so much open space at the front? This looks adorable on a waifish model. But there was a huge gap. OK, the largest size available was a 12, which I am not. But strangely enough, the jacket fit perfectly in the shoulders and across the back. Also, the jacket has a hidden front hook, so it really should meet at the center. Once more, I come to the reluctant conclusion that what looks adorable on a waif looks Too Small on the jumbo economy size.

Also, in case you're coveting this jacket and are deterred by the fact it's expensive and/or currently only available in a size 10? Be of good cheer. When I took it out of the packaging, there were a couple of long gold threads hanging off the beaded trim. Fall out from glittery eye shadow I can understand, but fall out from a brand-new, unworn piece of clothing is unacceptable.

Also, this amount of fluffy, eye-catching, bulk-increasing trim

is a really bad idea when you have a lot on your balcony. What was I thinking?

For me, to box this jacket up and bring it to the P.O. was the work of an instant.

As for the rest of the story, it's sort of depressing. Of the other items I ordered, the only one that fits is a pair of cropped khakis. Which, hello? Bored now.

On top of that, the leopard print scarf that sent me there in the first place

is sold out.

Chanel Collection Byzance Fall 2011 makeup collection

This spring, I spent a while kicking myself for not having gotten my mitts on Chanel's Ombres Perlées eyeshadow palette while it was still available. The colors looked perfect for hazel eyes.

So I went all Scarlet O'Hara and shook my fist at the sky and declared that as God was my witness, I was never going to miss the opportunity to score a Chanel limited edition cosmetic ever again.

So when I discovered the fall collection was up at Chanel.com, I ordered pretty much every limited edition color they had. Want to see?

Let's start with the lips.


Somebody really needs to get rid of that ancient Shellac manicure

I got a Rouge Allure in Rouge Byzantin, the lip pencil in Rose Cuivre, and a LE Glossimer in Braise (158).

As you can see, the Byzantin Rouge Allure is almost fuschia. After so many years of my-lips-but-better pinky brown glosses, it looks ... very bright. I'm trying not to freak out over it. After all, Sandra Bullock wore hot pink lipstick the night she won her Oscar. And Taylor Swift always wears bright lipstick. Which means the bright lipstick trend will work its way into the general public as sure as rain rises up the legs of my jeans. And for "general public" read "women of a certain age." Yes, even us.

(Deep breath. It's OK. You start small. You apply the lipstick, blot it to tone down the color, then add a little gloss.)

On the other hand, Braise is a much more wearable sheer light red--very lightly brown-red, actually--with gold microglitter.

The lip pencil is from the regular collection. It's not a LE, but I thought it would look good under the Glossimer. And it does.

OK, let's talk eyes. I also got the limited-edition eye shadow quad in Topkapi with four shades: a warm medium brown, a light taupe, a dark chocolate matte brown, and a gold.



Here it is swatched. As you can see, all the shades are quite shimmery, except for the chocolate brown.

I'm not going to pretend that these are basic, every day colors, but I can easily imagine getting a lot of use out of all the colors (well, except for the gold. I'm not Mr. T.) But the gold looks beautiful as a highlight on the inside corner of the eye, in the center of the lid, or under the bottom lashes.



I also got two shades of the Illusion D'Ombre cream eyeshadow. I must say, I can't wait to play with these. They are so gorgeous, and they have a wonderful mousse-like texture (actually, I'm sure this is what the Maybelline Dream Mousse eyeshadows were like.)

I got Epatant, the dark, charcoal green pictured above, and Illusoire, a deep plum. I forgot to take a picture of Illusoire, so here's the photograph from the Chanel website.

In this picture, I had just lightly touched my finger to each shade to swatch them.


 Illusoire on top, Epatant on the bottom

As you can see, these shades can be quite subtle and lovely.

The makeup artist at the Chanel boutique in Chicago showed me some of the Illusion D'Ombre shades applied with a brush, and they are gorgeous. Really incredible looking. (I was very taken with Ebloui, a lighter shade of mauve-lilac, but I didn't buy it.)

There are two limited-edition shades of powder blusher: Joues Contrast Rouge in Rouge and Or. Which means red and gold. And they are:



Here's a close-up of each shade:

Amazingly enough, they can be quite subtle. Especially for colors that look like two-thirds of a traffic light, No, really. I first applied them to my hand with my Lancome skunk brush and I couldn't even see the colors. I went over my original application using the brushes that came in the compact, and the colors were still pretty subtle. Finally I went all out, applying the gold shade and then lots of red on top, for a full-on scarlet fever look. And even then, it's not as clown-like as you'd think.

Finally, I bought a bottle of Peridot nail polish. Lately, Chanel polishes always seem to start a crazy lemming rush, and I wanted to grab a bottle before they were sold out. (In fact, now that I think about it, I was inspired to hit the Chanel website in the first place because I saw a bottle of Peridot for sale on ebay for some ridiculous amount of money--$45 or so.)

The picture in the eBay auction was what you'd expect a polish called Peridot to look like--a light yellow-green. In actuality, the polish flashes teal and gold and is never actually stays still long enough to look green, if that makes sense. I don't know whether I'll ever want to wear it; I may exchange it for a bottle of Quartz, which looks like Particulière with very fine shimmer.

At any rate, I tried to give you a sense of what Peridot polish looks like:

But I finally decided I needed to let you see the bottle in action. So here you go--my first mini video review.

To sum up, I'd say the entire collection is drop-dead gorgeous, but not every product is worth buying. Illusions Dombre are definitely worth a look; so is the Topkapi Quad, if you don't already have a ton of brown, beige, and gold shadows. The gold shadow is gorgeous and can be applied lightly or sponged on for a very dramatic effect. The nail polishes are interesting, and I'd suggest taking a look at Graphite, a medium gray with lots of silver microglitter, or Quartz, a taupey-beigey brown with tiny particles of micro glitter. Both are probably more wearable than Peridot. The limited edition blushes are interesting, and if you're a real makeup maven, you'll want to add these unique shades to your collection, but as for wearability and general usefulness. And the lipsticks are beautiful, but probably not worth getting.

(Just watch as a huge lemming rush starts over gold blush and fuschia lipstick!)

The Beauty Boomer gets fried

Every summer, some dear friends invite us for a lunch-time cruise of Lake Michigan. It's a lovely time--they serve Pimm's Cup and tons of delicious food: coffeecake and fresh fruit followed by chips and guacamole, followed by curried chicken salad and ending with a gorgeous layer cake.

Their sailboat is breathtakingly beautiful--straight out of House Beautiful, if House Beautiful did sailboats.

This is the captain's cabin, all summery and Schumacher-y

and here's the main cabin, which is equally lovely.

The company is lively and interesting, and the views of the city and the lake are sublime.

Usually I'm prepared to spend a day on the water, but this time, we had spent the night at our apartment in Chicago. We had a fire in the building, and have managed to put the place back together, but a few things are still missing, like lamps, rugs, and silverware. And baseball caps. And sunscreen.

So, here I am, with a layer of the boat's SPF30 on top of an SPF15 tinted moisturizer.

I look concerned because I knew that we were heading to some friends' annual lobster party that evening, and I? Was probably going to go as a lobster.

Not surprisingly, I got fried. It's not the redness that bothers me. It's not the slightly charred sensation. (Although I should mention that I discovered when I removed my makeup that cold cream actually feels cold.)

It's the amount of time I spend on my usual age-prevention regimen, only to undo it all in four hours. It's like dieting all week, and then entering a pie-eating contest.

Don't do this at home, kids!

Today's outfit

Just back from lunch with friends at RL in Chicago. It's a beautiful day! Too bad this picture turned out so dark.

Clothes

Two-year-old Lafayette 148 white tunic with embroidery and clear sequins

Ancient NYDJ bootcut jeans

Accessories

Tory Burch gold/bronze Prescot flats
Chanel Blanc Fonce 226 reissue with gold hardware

Jewelry

Hermes bangles in white and yellow gold
YG Michael Kors watch

and my favorite new lipgloss: Guerlain KissKiss in Figue Plaisir

Enjoy your weekend, everyone!

Once you go Shellac, you never go back

Hey, internet!

Yes, I am showing up after more than three months like a bad penny, or that boyfriend your mother always hated. What can I say? Life has been busy. But I figured if I was going to start blogging again, I'd cut out the apologies and excuses and just do it.

So here I am, ready to preach the gospel of Shellac nail polish by CND.

When you write about style, it sort of behooves you to stay current. And yet, for me, the "WTF is that???" stage lasts much longer than it does for the stereotypical hard-core cutting-edge fashionista.)

Examples? OK-how's this: I'm just getting used to skinny jeans and smoky eye makeup. Yes, really. And I'm still not there with jeggings or those platform shoes that make women's feet look like horses' hooves.

This makes me a style conservative ... which should be an oxymoron, but there you go. Anyway, I figured that the internet exists so people can find and bond with like-minded weirdos. I also figured that there might be more style conservatives like me out there. People who have never tried a Shellac manicure.

If you are one of these people, put this blog down and go get one.

Here's what you need to know:

1. These aren't acrylics or gel nails. The application is almost exactly the same as regular nail polish; base cost; two color coats; one top coat. You just have to cure the nails in a UV light box for a couple of minutes after each coat.

2. The color selection isn't fabulous, but if you like nudes, beiges, pinks, and reds, you should be OK.

3. Shellac manicures last and last and last.

These are my nails after two and a half weeks. I've got to get them redone soon, but not because of chips. It's because there is significant growth visible at the base of the nails.

And I'm using my hands with no thought whatsoever for ruining my manicure. I open boxes and packages and clean house and fold laundry and my nails remain flawless, strong, and shiny. (I mean strong like I'm-pregnant-strong or I'm-a-teenager-strong, which is a nice change of pace from the peeling, breaking mess my nails have become in the last decade.)

The downside? I've already mentioned the limited color palette. Also, removing the polish is tricky. You have to wear removal-soaked pads for ten minutes, and even then, your manicurist might have to go at you with an orange wood stick. But it's not too bad.

But maybe I should tone down this rave review ... because the Shellac people have got me now. I have nails like a teenager and they're totally low maintenance. If I have to head to the salon to get them removed--well, it's a situation I can accept.

FWIW I've been to two salons. The fancy one charges $40 and the cheap walk-in place charges $25.

So anyway, I'm hooked. Any other users out there? Let me know if you've had a Shellac manicure and what you thought of it because I've clearly joined a cult.