What I bought--and what I returned

Banana Republic's tailored non-iron sateen shirt 

I know I sound like a shopaholic these days, but there's a good reason for it. I really need new clothes.

Since June, I've been working out with a trainer at least twice a week. The rest of the time, I've been on the elliptical. Or doing Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred. Or running. (OK, that last? Twice. But it counts.)

I've also been tracking my food. (More or less-ish. I've been tracking the same foods for so long, I kind of have a good idea of how much I'm eating.) And I'm weighing myself at least once a week, so I'll know if the weight loss stops or reverses itself.

I'm now at 172 pounds, which is less than I weighed the last time I wasted the internet's time by blogging about weight loss. And my clothes have gotten too big. So I've really needed to buy new stuff.

The thing is, I'm nine years older than I was the last time I weighed this much, and I've ... how should I put this delicately, in case my daughter's classmates are still reading my blog ... forded the Red Sea.

Oh, yeah. THAT was subtle.

Anyway, what with my plunging levels of female hormones, I'm afraid I've developed something of a menopot.

Actually, my problem is more midriff bulge. Which is not something I had bothered my pretty little head about much, until I tried to button the new shirts I ordered from Banana Republic and discovered that while they fit well over the balcony, below that, I was asking an awful lot out of the Spandex.

Nobody talks about midriff bulge any more, but when you're as old as I am, you know that muffin top is nothing new. I remember seeing ads for Playtex Long Line 18 hour bras when I was a kid.



Not to disrespect Jane, because heaven knows, she rocked in Gentleman Prefer Blondes,  but I don't want to wear a longline bra.

But I'll need to wear one if I'm going to be able to button Banana Republic's Stretch Shirt of Evil.

I might even need to wear two.

It's just as evil in navy blue.

P.S. I've decided it's time to bore the internet again with my thoughts on fitness, diet, and My Waistline: Gone, Or Just Forgotten?

So I've agreed to blog about it every day for the month of November, for a second crack at NaBloPoMo.

---
Elsewhere:

See Pamela Peeke, M.D.'s article here if you want a quick guide to menopots, how we get them and how to get rid of them.

On LiveStrong: How do I lose midriff weight?

On Women's Health: The Five Rules of Flat Abs (an annoying slide show, but with good info.)

Recent discoveries

Being the last by whom the new is tried, I'm sure my savvier readers will roll their eyes and think "Seriously? She's just gotten around to trying it?"

But here's the thing: the fashion/beauty press is an ever-moving stream of information. When the hot new thing is new, everyone is blathering away about it. You can't get away from people nattering on about Creme de la Mer or Tory Burch flats or Sevens jeans and then, all of a sudden, the chatter dries up.

(Except for Maybelline's Great Lash mascara, which still gets press. I don't know how Maybelline does it, because it sucks. But mark my words, that smeary, goopy crap in a pink-and-green tube is on somebody's Best of list even as we speak.)

Anyway, here are some things I've been liking:

Bioderma Cráline H2O Solution Micellaire 

I mostly don't watch the beauty gurus on YouTube. I mean, I like conspicuous consumption as much as the next girl, but those teenagers with their haul videos sicken even me.

I also find them almost maddeningly inefficient. I mean, if I tell you that this stuff is a cleanser that you use on cotton pads like a toner, and it's cool, soothing, and gets your face beautifully clean without stripping or irritating your skin, you know everything you need to know, and I didn't just waste eight minutes of your life.

And yet, I have to give the YouTube gurus credit: they know their stuff. This particular video was about French drug store products, and being the world's biggest Francophile, as well as someone who delights in discovering great drug store products, I sat up and took notice. Unfortunately, I can't remember which video taught me this. Sorry, beauty guru, whoever you are. (The 250 ml size is available for $25.00 on Amazon.com--here's a link to all their Bioderma products)

Embryalisse Lait-Creme Concentré

The same beauty guru also turned me on to Embryalisse Lait-Creme Concentré, which is a very plain, very gentle, slightly fluffy-feeling moisturizer. It's like a fluffier, less greasy version of Eucerin. It's great when my skin feels super dry or when I've been testing its patience with too many retinols and acids. A good-sized tube goes for $25.00 on Amazon; here's a link.)

Benefit Dandelion

See what I mean about my lag time? This stuff came out a decade ago! My friend Wendy turned me on to it. She said she'd used up three of them. I love it. It's blusher for the blusher-challenged--at least if they're pale. It's such a pale shade of pink, it probably wouldn't show on medium or darker complexions. But porcelain types can sweep it on lavishly with the big white brush and never be afraid of developing 80s disco cheeks. It's $28.00 at Sephora. Thanks, Wendy!

Review of the new goods

OK, I'm back. Again.

(I should probably rename my blog. What do you think of The Prodigal Blogger?)

Anyway, I thought I'd update with my reaction to the stuff in my last post.

Since my daily uniform runs to jeans/tees or jeans/sweaters, worn with flat shoes of some type, I've mostly worn the casual stuff.

Jimmy Choo "Youth" motorcycle boots *****

I love these!

If you follow me on Pinterest, you might have noticed that I pinned these a couple of months ago. And kept thinking about them. Neiman Marcus tipped the scales by offering a gift card if I bought two full-priced items. (Intelligent shoppers don't fall for that sort of nonsense, but I am what I am.)

I ordered them in a 39, my usual size, but they were a little tight across the ball of the foot, so I sent them back and got the 39.5. Now they're perfectly comfortable and I can wear them with thick socks when it's cold. The leather is gorgeous and buttery. The lining is deliciously smooth, and the round toes look authentic and give extra toe room. They're both tough and ladylike. "Elegant motorcycle boots" might sound like an oxymoron, but I swear it's not. When I'm not wearing them I leave them out on the rug and just admire them. True story.

Lafayette 148 Markel white sleeveless ruffled blouse ****

This was the other full-priced item from Neiman Marcus. I felt justified paying full price because for whatever reason, Lafayette 148 tops fit and flatter me better than anything else in the world. They fit over my balcony, but nip in at the waist just the right amount to keep me looking as large and rectangular as the box your refrigerator came in.

Ordinarily I try to stay away from ruffles, but these are fairly crisp and small. They extend down the front of the blouse a little too far to fit perfectly under my cardigans. Also, the arm holes are a little big on me--but I'm not planning on wearing this blouse on its own, anyway.

BTW, this blouse is currently 30 percent off!

Tory Burch tumbled leather Reva flats ***--

I got these to wear with khaki pants and jeans to dress them up a bit. I love the texture and the color and the fact that the logo is done in a matte leather instead of shiny gold or silver. But I've given these two or three tries, and unfortunately, they're a miss. I read the reviews on Bloomindales.com and decided to size up a little, for a little extra width. I got these in a 9.5. I have wide feet and that trick sometimes makes all the difference. Unfortunately, in this case, it didn't work. The shoes are still tight across the ball of the foot, and on top of that, they're too long. There's about half an inch of extra shoe at the heel.

Brooks Brothers double-breasted short lambskin trench coat *****
I headed to the Brooks Brothers website because I got an email announcing a 25 percent off Friends and Family sale. I was amazed at how much stuff they had that I liked!

I love, love, love this jacket. Seriously, it's perfect. The leather is extremely soft and buttery. I ordered a size 14 because of the balcony, and the fit in the shoulders is perfect, as is the sleeve length. (This was great news because God knows I didn't want to have to have a leather jacket tailored.) It's the perfect short coat for me because the leather is a little fashion forward, but the trench coat styling is classic. And the length works perfectly over pants and skirts.

Q. Where've I been? A. Shopping.

Blackbird once asked me why I spent so much on accessories and so little on clothes. The short answer is that clothes shopping is no fun when you're a size 16. (Or to be truthful, bulging quietly out of the 16s.)

But then I started spending a lot of time at the gym. And I decluttered my closet. And I sincerely--no, really!--had nothing to wear.

It was a situation that badly needed rectifying. So I rectified. Behold:

See that? Only two pairs of shoes.

I just hope the current ratio meets with bird's approval.