The great hair color debate: another place to compromise

This is Part 1 of Poppy's Excellent Hair Dye Adventure. You might want to finish the series by reading Part 2: Drugstore Color and Part 3: How to be a Silver Fox.

A college classmate of mine emailed me recently asking me--the recently minted expert in all things stylish and beautiful--where I stood on the subject of dyeing one's hair. It turns out I have a lot of thoughts on the subject. Too many to include in an email. Too many to include in a single blog post. So welcome to Poppy's Excellent Hair Dye Adventure, Part One.

Susie Sunshine, Goon Squad Sarah, and Poppy Buxom's dyed hair at last year's BlogHer conference

I should start by outing myself as insanely high-maintenance and extravagant. Because I can't stand gray hair. Snow white heads of hair a la Crystal Gale are all very well and good ... but my gene pool seems to run to years and years of dull and dreary salt-and-pepper.

Also, I'm hair-styling-challenged. When I was growing up, hair was long, straight, and parted in the middle. No one used rollers or blow-dryers. We washed our hair and let it dry. Which means I didn't even dip a toe into hair-styling waters until I was well into my 20s.

Now, to my mind, hair-styling is like downhill skiing or stock car racing--it's probably a good idea to get started when you're young. And since I didn't even try to blow my hair dry until I was in my 20s, I'm at a permanent disadvantage. Those long layers that look so great when somebody else styles them end up confounding my attempts. Which means a lot of the time, my hair looks messy and disheveled.

And what's worse than messy, disheveled hair? Messy disheveled hair that's gray. So my theory on hair color is this: I have to color my hair, because if I don't, I'll look like one of those wacky old peasant women who hung around watching people getting guillotined during the French Revolution, knitting and cackling in unholy glee.

L-R: Sydney Carlton in A Tale of Two Cities, a French soldier, and Poppy with her knitting

Or maybe, because I'm a singer, like a member of the chorus in an amateur production of Les Mis.

So I get my hair colored at Pascal Pour Elle, a la-di-dah salon in Glencoe, Illinois. (If you go there for color, ask for Priscilla. She's a genius.) I used to get a semi-permanent base color, to which were added highlight, lowlights, and a glaze for shine.

OK, this picture is maybe not so great of my gorgeous friend Liz
or even of me, but it does show off my high- and lowlights

I still do the same thing, but with permanent color for my base. The permanent color covers the gray better, but it does make for a more dramatic demarcation when the gray hair grows in. Around here, we call this "skunk head."

When I get skunk head, I start to freak out. I do everything I can to avoid standing next to anyone taller than 5' 10" because OMG they might notice my roots!!! Then, when I remember that I might have to bend over at some point, I head to the drugstore and pick up a box of Clairol's Nice and Easy Root Touch Up, which I've raved about before. I use this to touch up the roots along my part and my hairline. It works well, although I do end up like a guy with a comb-over--one stiff breeze and my subterfuge will be exposed.

Obviously, I have a hair-color fixation. Having me list alternatives to going to the salon every month smacks of hypocrisy. As much as I resent the time and money I spend there, I'm satisfied with things at present.

But let's assume that unlike me, you're not mental on the subject of hair color. Maybe you don't want to spend that much money. Maybe you don't want to go through all that angst. Maybe you want to stand next to as many tall people as possible. What are your options?

Tune in tomorrow for Poppy's Excellent Hair Dye Adventure, Part 2: Drugstore Color.

Keeping your look fresh: How to cull

The ideal closet holds clothes you wear regularly, with enough space around your pieces so they don't get crushed or wrinkled. If your closet is very far from this ideal, you need to go through your clothes and get rid of anything that isn't working for you.

Empty your closet Take all your hanging clothes out of the closet. (I stack mine up on my bed.) Then go through the stacks and evaluate each item. If you wear a piece regularly, hang it back up in the closet.

Right away, this should give you a pretty good idea of where you stand. Don't be surprised if the stack of clothes you rarely or never wear is five times bigger than the stack you put back in the closet. It happens.

Clothes that don't fit Make a stack of clothes that you're not wearing because they don't fit. Are they too small? Unless you're within 10 pounds of their fitting again, I'd say get rid of them.

Remember--we're recovering frumpaholics. The lure of the past is very strong. Resist it. If you have to lose 30 pounds before a pair of jeans will zip again, shouldn't they be jeans from this year, and not jeans from 2004?

I understand the desire to zip up your old skinny jeans. Keep a pair if you must. One pair. And don't wear them in public. I don't want you to look like you've been doing the Time Warp.

If the clothes are too large, good for you! Now get rid of them. OK, you can save one pair of fat jeans to wear when you pose the cover of your weight-loss memoir. But larger size clothing is pure gold for thrift shops.

Clothes that are dated This is where women of a certain age run into problems. We seem to lose our sense of what's current and blithely go on wearing clothes that are five years out of date. So evaluate each piece based on what you see in stores and catalogs right now. Trust me, you're not seeing ankle-duster coats, tapered pants, witchy-toed shoes, embroidered jeans, hooded sweaters, or mid-calf-length skirts in stores these days, so you shouldn't see them in your closet.

Timeless basics What about classics? Aye, there's the rub. You might not be wearing them right now, but good wool, cashmere, camel's hair, and silk are expensive. If they're in a classic style, you won't want to get rid of them. OK, we'll deal with them later. For now, you can keep them.

Upkeep issues If you haven't been wearing a piece because it requires expensive dry cleaning, hand-washing, or fussy ironing, think about it. Not wearing your loveliest clothes and sticking to wash-and-wear t-shirts and jeans every single day is like packing away your good china and crystal and eating off paper plates. Clothes are meant to be worn. If you're not wearing them because the upkeep is too time-consuming or expensive, maybe these pieces shouldn't be in your closet. Let them go.

If a piece needs needs repairs/tailoring, take care of it. Then enjoy.

Mistakes Then there are the pieces you bought in some kind of clearance sale feeding frenzy. Some of them still have the tags on them. Keeping those clothes is false economy. It won't get you your money back. If it's a mistake--wrong color, something's off about the fit, it turns out you don't have a garden party to attend--what's it doing in your closet? It's a squatter. Get rid of it.

Seasonal/Special Occasion clothes Are a lot of your clothes out of season? I live in Chicago and have to buy clothes for freezing cold winters and hot, sticky summers. I have tiny, old-fashioned closets, so twice a year, I go through the ritual of packing away out-of-season clothes. You might not have to do this, but at least set aside a section of your closet for rarely- or seasonally-worn clothes. It will cut down on the visual clutter.

The next step OK, now. The clothes you actually wear are back in the closet. There's a pile of stuff to clean/mend/repair. What to do with the rejects? You can hold a clothing swap with your friends; bring your too-big clothes to a Weight Watchers meeting; sell the clothes on eBay; or bring them to a consignment store.

You can also donate them to non-profit. My church holds a huge rummage sale every year. Prices on sale day are so low that people come from miles around to shop the sale. The proceeds benefit various local agencies, including shelters for homeless women. I pack my rejects off to the rummage sale drop-off knowing that every piece I donate will find a good home. Which makes me feel not just lucky, but smug. I love that.

Final thoughts Clearing out your closets is hard work. You'll find yourself playing the blame game--beating yourself up for having gained weight or wasted money. But think about it--by getting rid of the evidence, you'll have a fresh start. You won't have dozens of pieces of clothing hanging in your closet making you feel bad every time you try to put together an outfit. Doing a major clear out is like ripping off a bandaid in one go, rather than teasing it off in tiny little tugs.

Trust me. The sight of your closets filled with wearable, comfortable clothes that suit the life you're living now will fill you with nothing but joy.

(Oh, and before you get rid of everything, please blog about it. With pictures. Like my friend Badger did here.)

This is Part 2 of a two-part post. Part 1 is here.

The Beauty Boomer Manifesto

Hello, invisible internet friends!

I have a confession to make. I'm older than you are.

I'm 53, and at 53, I have to work twice as hard and spend twice the money and time to look half as good as I did when I was 27. Well, I have two options; I can continue to fight the good fight, or I can give up.

I plan to keep fighting.

I plan to keep fighting because I feel better about myself when I do. I plan to keep fighting because it makes my husband and children feel better about me. Most important, I plan to keep fighting because it shows the world that I'm still in the game. My glory days are not over; they're just beginning.

Like it or not, people judge you by your looks--and they do it all the time.

One of the things they judge is your age. Another is your perceived level of hipness.

Here's the deal: age and hipness do not have to co-relate. Perceived age is the combination of the impression made by your size, silhouette, complexion, coloring, grooming, clothes, accessories, and makeup. Some of these things can be easily fixed. Others you have to live with. But hipness? Looking in the know? Can easily be tweaked. And that makes you come across as younger.

It takes work. You have to leave your comfort zone. Because let's face it; your comfort zone is frumpy. It's the same hair style for 20 years. It's the overcoat you bought in 1995 that still has plenty of wear in it. It's glasses from 2004.

And frumpiness sneaks up on you. Like age, a lack of hipness doesn't happen overnight. You get busy with other things, and you gradually lose touch. You look up and the 90s--the decade you were hoping to catch up on because babies and graduate school made you miss most of them--are already being revived.

Now, I may be a recovering frump, but at least I've developed some taste and discrimination over the years. Forty years of reading fashion magazines tends to have that effect. In this blog, I'm planning on sharing what I've learned.

I also want to find out what you've learned. What has worked; what hasn't. Some of you posted comments back when I first starting moving in this direction. I've got several posts in draft that are dealing with these issues, so please keep the comments coming!

Elsewhere:

Poppy at BlogHer BeautyHacks:

Shimmery Makeup: Not Just for Teens

Nail Polish Trends for Spring, 2010

Upcoming:

I. The Five Cs of keeping your look fresh:

1. Cull
2. Coordinate
3. Cost -- How to prioritize
4. Change
5. Compromise -- When a fashion from your past is resurrected

II. 30/10--a month-long series of posts--10 minutes to looking younger.

1. Find a MLBB lippie
2. Update your eyebrows
3. Establish a beauty triage
4. Curl your lashes
5. Perk up the girls
6. Exfoliate
7. Rethink your jewelry
8. Make friends with concealer
9. Loop on a scarf
10. Lighten up, Francis
11. Make new friends
12. But keep the old
13. Wear a camisole
14. Wear blusher
15. Bump up your nails
16. Rethink your hair products
17. Be a brownie
18. Grow
19. Be true to yourself
20. Think like a decorator
21. Back away from black
22. Blot, don't powder
23. Find a younger mentor
24. Be all wet
25. Break some rules
26. Bags are the new shoes
27. The legs are the last to go
28. Move on
29. Use your rear-view mirror
30. Play