Thursday, December 31, 2009

12 Days of Blogmas: Day Seven (the 2010 edition)

Whoa!

It's snowy/slushy/slippery as a bastid out there.

A few hours ago, I went out to buy champagne and pick up some movies at the library. It seems that everyone else in town had the same brilliant idea; stay home and celebrate with good food and your favorite people in the whole world. The library DVD shelves were picked clean, and so was the champagne display at the local liquor store. But I perservered.

Tonight, the Buxoms will be eating spaghetti carbonara and watching movies. Various Buster Keaton shorts; Help; Ace Ventura, Pet Detective, and The Breakfast Club.

At some point the young people with active metabolic rates will break out the ice cream cake with sundae toppings. The older, more sluggish members of the family will start drinking champagne.

Happy New Years to you and yours, and if you do go out, drive carefully. Seriously. My nephew got a concussion in a car accident on Christmas night.

Now, ready to win a Mamarazzi t-shirt? Figure out what popular Christmas song is depicted in the following pictures (all CDs or MP3s available from Amazon.)





Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The 12 Days of Blogmas: Day six

My daughter is very busy. She's up in her room, spending the $100 in iTunes gift cards she received for Christmas.

To make this possible, I've been busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest. Seriously, getting my new MacBook Pro (smooch!) up to speed was a piece of cake compared to

1. backing up my daughter's old laptop to a zip drive
2. purging stuff on my old laptop to free up disk space
3. adding my daughter as a user on my old laptop
3. de-authorizing my iTunes account on my old laptop
3. authorizing her iTunes account on it
4. copying her iTunes files over
5. restoring her iPod to factory settings
6. synching it to her new computer

At which point--after about four hours of work--I handed the laptop and iPod over to her and told her to have fun.

So now my dining room looks like the terminal room in the Computing Group at The Whitehead Institute for Biomedical Research (which is where I met Mr. Buxom lo, these many years ago.) It's also very reminiscent of the scenes in Buffy the Vampire Slayer where the three nerds are trying to be super-villains.

Except they weren't becoming super-villains in the middle of a blizzard while wild turkeys patrol their yard.

Also, I'm still in my pajamas. Pink microfiber with little hearts all over them.

OK, now that I've seared that image into your mind and provided way more local color than you'd like, here's another entry--figure out what song I'm referring to (pictures are all from Amazon except for fourth one--that one wouldn't work, so I switched to Google Images) and win a free Mamarazzi t-shirt!





Tuesday, December 29, 2009

12 Days of Blogmas: Day Five

I'm late to post this, and I'm typing it on my brand-spanking new MacBook Pro, which has finally finished transferring the new files.

So, if you're new or just started paying attention, here's the deal. The following pictures represent the title/first line of a popular Christmas song. The images are from Amazon.com.

Be the first to figure out which Christmas song and win a free Mamarazzi t-shirt!

Ready?





Monday, December 28, 2009

12 Days of Blogmas: Day Four

After many hours in the car, I'm in New Hampshire. My sister gave me a biography of Mae West for Christmas! My mother gave my daughter a garnet and pearl ring that was her great great great aunts! We had pizza and I think I drank a whole bottle of wine all by myself!

The bad news I think we might be hosting my mother for New Year's Eve.

Anyway. Here's today's Christmas song. Guess the title and win a free Mamarazzi t-shirt!








Sunday, December 27, 2009

12 Days of Blogmas: Day Three

I'm in Rochester, NY digesting my Japanese dinner and wondering why I left my souvenir ceramic Buddha tiki drink container in the restaurant.

But enough of my problems, it's contest time! Be the first to figure out what popular Christmas song is depicted in the following images stolen from Amazon and win a Mamarazzi t-shirt!

Ready?


Saturday, December 26, 2009

The 12 Days of Blogmas: Day two

The first person to guess the name of this popular Christmas song wins a free Mamarazzi t-shirt! Yay! (Check yesterday's post for the rules if this is the first time you've played.)








(All images courtesy of Amazon.com--which means you can actually own these fine items.)

Friday, December 25, 2009

The 12 Days of Blogmas: Day one

Hey, it's Christmas! This means I got no sleep last night, and I've spent an entire day stuffing my face with delicious yet unhealthy food (when I wasn't drinking). It's therefore a miracle that I have the energy to start anything, let alone my annual 12-days-of-Christmas guessing game. But I do.

I have so much energy that I've decided to make this a contest. With prizes!

See, last summer I threw a party for the entire internet, and like any good hostess, I provided goodies for my guests. Only since the entire internet didn't show up, I wound up with leftovers.

So here's the deal. Guess the name of this popular Christmas song and you'll win yourself a super-fine Mamarazzi t-shirt. They're white with dark red lettering and say

in red ink. If you know Kristen of Mommy Needs a Cocktail, you know how nice these t-shirts are.

OK, here are the rules:

  1. Look at the pictures. In previous years I've gotten my pictures from Google Images. Now I'm using Google or Amazon.com. Amazon has nice clear images. And after doing the majority of my Christmas shopping on Amazon, I figure they owe me.

  2. Try to figure out what Christmas song the pictures represent. (Usually I show the first line of the first verse, i.e., "Silent night, holy night" because just "Silent Night" would be too short.)

  3. Leave a comment with your well-reasoned and thoughtful solution. Or take the opportunity to make fun of me.

  4. If you're right, you win a Mamarazzi t-shirt.

  5. And here's a hint: most of the time, the phrase I'm using includes little words--basic verbs, articles, pronouns, and prepositions--that produce pretty strange results in Google Images. After all, it's THE first Noel and WE three kings OF orient ARE. And when you do a search for the, we, of, and are, you come up with pretty random images.

    So look for the nouns. Christmas carol-y nouns like angels, mangers, stars, nights, oxen, and asses.




Ready? Here goes:


Wednesday, December 23, 2009

And when you think about it, "Sephora" sounds like a someone from the Bible

Hey everybody! Jen Lancaster sent me a Sephora gift card for my birthday! That is so amazing and cool that you're imploding with sheer envy, right? I got a gift card from Jen, and YOU did not. Probably. Unless she likes you, too.

So anyway, what with one thing and another, Christmas and condo fires and such, I didn't get around to actually spending it until today. I already knew what I wanted: the Sephora-only Philosophy Winter Escape gift set, consisting of a bottle of Peppermint Hot Cocoa bath gel, Melting Marshmallow body cream, and a tube of Marshmallow lip gloss.

That would be $25, and with the rest, I could get a bottle of Urban Decay Eye Shadow Primer Potion.

I don't know whether you're any kind of makeup maven, but if you check even one Youtube makeup guru, you'll find they all use this stuff before applying their eye shadow. So I wanted some. Even though I can't usually be bothered to wear eye shadow. I just wanted it, OK?

OK. So I head to Sephora.com, and discover that my Philosophy Gift Sets are marked down from $25 to $19. So I ordered two of them. And then I put the Urban Decay potion into my shopping basket. Oh, and since it was my birthday month, I got my choice of some cute freebies, so I picked out a trio of lip glosses. As well as the usual samples they like to add. Sephora was also offering free shipping. That's pretty cool, right? Two of my items were marked down, free birthday gift, free samples, free shipping.

I was all ready to check out when I remembered to google "Sephora coupon code." Sure enough, retailmenot.com had a code for an extra 20 percent off any sale item. Which knocked down the price of the Philosophy gift sets yet again.

You know how when you use a gift card, you always go over because of sales taxes or shipping? And you think, "hey, this gift card is costing me a lot of money." Well, when it was time to check out, I needed to put a total of thirty-six cents on my credit card. Score!

So then I went to twitter to brag to the internet about my super-fun Sephora shopping spree. And discovered that in a repeat of Maytaggate, dooce might be about to take on Sephora for some unspecified-but-cryptically-alluded-to crime. And I trembled, because I had just publicly sided with dooce's enemy, Sephora. The Goliath to dooce's David.

But then I realized that Sephora is the puny little weakling here. Because I checked their twitter pages, and dooce has 1,558,511 twitter followers, whereas Sephora only has 39,522. Which makes dooce the Goliath, and Sephora the David.

Well, I'm always glad to root for the underdog. After all, I'm a Red Sox fan. I'm glad I tweeted about today's sale (which is good until December 31.) I'm glad I'm providing Sephora with free PR in this blog post. If dooce is going after them, Sephora needs all the help it can get.

But I'd like to take this further. I'm going to make this my new cause. You can't be a serious blogger until you have a cause. You write an impassioned post (i.e., this one.) Then one of your blogging buddies designs a widget, and your other blogging buddies put your widget in their sidebars, and you feel that you've made the world a better place, oh lord, kumbaya.

But your cause has to be something specific. You can't just be green or recycle or against poverty. I mean, I am, I do, and hey, who isn't?

No, a blogging cause needs to be something you feel passionate about. And I do. I am extremely passionate about makeup. And so, I want--no, I need lots of people to shop at Sephora. Please, if you have any spare money at all, spend it at Sephora. Do it for the children, and if you don't like children or can't see what they have to do with a luxury makeup chain store, do it for me. I need Sephora to stay in business so I can continue to put my uncanny internet shopping skills to work during their sales. I need to continue to take advantage of their special offers. I need to keep on raking in free birthday lip glosses.

So remember. Do the right thing. Shop at Sephora.

Thank you. God bless you. And God bless America.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Fire is the test of gold; adversity, of strong bloggers

I don't know why, but I steadfastly refuse to become upset about the fire in our condo. I've had several people comment on how calmly I'm taking it, but I'm still so grateful that no one was there that night.

I suppose it helps that it was a second home and didn't have a whole lot in it that really matters to me. And what did matter was little things like a Mother's Day card my son made for me when he was in kindergarten.

But anyway, we knew we had to head downtown to the condo today to meet with the contractor who's handling the restoration. What a fun birthday for Mr. Buxom! (I came thisclose to asking the bakery to put little fire engines on his birthday cake--but I decided against it in the off chance that he might not find the idea side-splittingly hilarious.)

The first thing we needed to do was figure out what we wanted cleaned and what we thought we should just pitch. The limitations being the amount of insurance money we'll be getting (and it's not enough, so check your policies, people!) and the practicality of cleaning things like sofa cushions and pillows that have been steeped in smoke for over a week.

The to-be-cleaned stuff includes:

all of the dishes
pots and pans
silverware
glasses
clothes
artwork
two lamps
the midcentury modern china cabinet I thrifted
the rummage sale chair upholstered in Brunschwig & Fils fabric
the leopard print towels from Pottery Barn
my son's bunk bed frame
my daughter's twin bed frame
five occasional tables
the liquor.

The to-be-pitched stuff:

two rooms of wall-to-wall carpeting
all the area rugs except for the one in the living room
the window treatments
all of the upholstered furniture except for the rummage sale chair
the dining room table and chairs
the Murphy bed in my daughter's room
our bedframe and upholstered headboard
all of the mattresses
all of the pillows
all bedding
the books
the televisions
the digital keyboard
all the small kitchen appliances
the wireless internet equipment
all cosmetics and toiletries
possibly the refrigerator
the food

Notice that we're throwing out the food and keeping the liquor.

Priorities, people!

(Want to cheer up Mr. Buxom? Leave him a birthday comment.)

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Well what do you know; there actually is grace in small things

I don't do Schmutzie's grace in small things because I did Blog365. I blogged every day for a year, and it made me into a blogging curmudgeon. Basically, nobody can make me do anything, now. Hey, you kids! With your tags and your links and your memes! Get off my lawn!

On the other hand, the following things are making me happy:

1. I bought all new Christmas lights this year because I can't be bothered to find the box with last year's lights carefully stored in it. I just know it would take two days to find them, and half the lights would be broken. Anyway, some of the lights I bought are teeny colored twinkling ones that move to one of a random series of patterns. They are tacky as hell. They probably piss my neighbors off. I LOVE THEM.

2. Because of fire-related time constraints, I'm doing a somewhat minimalist Christmas this year. All presents are being purchased on line; minimal decorations are going up; the tree has literally one-third of its usual ornaments. Turns out I prefer it that way.

3. Last night was our last pre-Christmas concert; my high schooler returned as an alumnus to play cello with his former middle school. It was wonderful to see how happy this made him.

4. I got the Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Seasons 1 - 7, "The Chosen Collection" boxed set for my birthday. It makes folding laundry much, much nicer.

5. We're going to the condo to go through our belongings with the insurance guys this Saturday, which is my husband's birthday. And not last Saturday, which was mine.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

If possible, I love Rescue Me even more now

I've always been a bit vague on the details of my financial life, which means long-time readers have been a little confused as to whether I live in the suburbs or the city.

The answer, of course, is both. We live in the suburbs during the week, but we have a weekend/vacation apartment in the city. It's a wonderful luxury. It makes it possible for us to enjoy city pleasures like fine dining, opera, ballet, the symphony, and drinking cocktails while gazing awestruck at views of Lake Michigan and the city.

It also comes in handy when BlogHer decides to hold its conference in Chicago. As many of my blogging buddies can testify.

So yes, I live in Newtopia, but I also live in Chicago. In a high rise. That just had a fire.


See that black smudge? That's our bedroom window.

Are you feeling me when I say THANK GOD THE APARTMENT WAS EMPTY? Good. Because if your home ever burns, I hope you find out the way I did--by email. Email puts what I consider to be the appropriate amount of distance between you and physical danger.

Now, I don't know whether you've ever thought about it, but a fire in a high-rise is a complicated thing--what pretentious smarty-pants like me call "hydra-headed." Because everyone who lives under the fire has to deal with water damage--the after effects of the hundreds of gallons of water that were used to put out the fire. And because like heat, smoke rises, everyone who lives above the fire has to deal with smoke damage.

Fire at Deluxe Apartment in the Sky

On top of which, even assessing the damage is difficult because getting in and out of the building is extremely complicated. There are 250 units, all with people who need to get in and out, and the elevators create a huge bottleneck. Especially when the freight elevator is flooded and the high rise elevator stops working.

So when we got there, the sidewalk was cordoned off. Fire department, police, insurance and contractors' trucks were parked and double parked around the block. The lobby was filled with dozens of men and women in hard hats. Some were trying to bring rolling carts of specialized cleaning equipment upstairs. Some had pressboard or sheet rock. Insurance adjusters were talking on cell phones. Building management employees were trying to prevent "chasers" from buttonholing unit owners. And unit owners, dressed every which way, were leaving the building with rolling suitcases and bags of clothes.

Fire at the Deluxe Apartment in the Sky

The high-rise elevator wasn't working, so we had to take the low-rise elevator to the 23rd floor, then walk up to our apartment. I was afraid my husband would take off up the stairs and I'd be huffing and puffing all the way up, but we actually had to walk up very slowly because workers were carrying huge sheets of particle board to board up the windows on the 36th floor.

Around the 36 floor, we passed this

Fire at the Deluxe Apartment in the Sky

It's a rescue plan written on the wall by the firefighters.

Our hallway didn't look that bad, but our front door was broken in. All the front doors were broken in, actually, because the firefighters had to check every single unit in the building to make sure they had accounted for everyone in the building.

The first bedroom we saw was my son's. Here's the floor going into his room

Fire at the Deluxe Apartment in the Sky

Somewhere under that mess is his blue striped wall to wall carpet.

Here's the vent above his door.

Fire at the Deluxe Apartment in the Sky

To give an idea of the mess, I picked up this little robot guy

Fire at the Deluxe Apartment in the Sky

and moved him.

Fire at the Deluxe Apartment in the Sky

Then there is the matter of his walls

Fire at the Deluxe Apartment in the Sky

and ceiling.

Fire at the Deluxe Apartment in the Sky

My daughter's room was showered in ash, but her walls and windows are intact

Fire at the Deluxe Apartment in the Sky

Here's her ancient rummage sale Babar lamp with the scotch-taped shade which is supposed to be white, but is now covered so in soot that its shade looks like it was made of tweed.

Fire at the Deluxe Apartment in the Sky

Last but not least, our bedroom. The door was closed, probably because the windows were broken

Fire at the Deluxe Apartment in the Sky

This will give you an idea of the soot.

Fire at the Deluxe Apartment in the Sky

The whole thing was complicated by the fact that it was zero degrees outside.

Fire at the Deluxe Apartment in the Sky

See the water coming out of the bathroom faucet?

Fire at the Deluxe Apartment in the Sky

That's actually ice.

Our "white" ceiling

Fire at the Deluxe Apartment in the Sky

Apparently the fire snaked out of the apartment where it started, crawled up the outside of the building, and tried to get back in through my bedroom window.

Fire at Deluxe Apartment in the Sky

Amazingly enough, the only evidence of this is the shades, which were pulled down from the windows. You can't really tell from the picture, but they're charred, and in some places, they melted.

Fire at the Deluxe Apartment in the Sky

We stayed in the condo for about five hours until we'd had the chance to go through everything with the insurance adjuster and the contractors who'll be doing the restoration. And then, finally, they told us we could go.

On the way out, I snapped this picture of the hallway below mine.

Fire at the Deluxe Apartment in the Sky

This? Is as close as I ever want to get to hell.

Then we checked in with the management company to make sure they knew to board up our bedroom windows. And I fell in love with them because they had coffee and doughnuts, bless them.

Fire at the Deluxe Apartment in the Sky

I'm not blogging this because I want you to feel sorry for me. If you feel sorry for anyone, feel sorry for the 84-year-old woman who called 911 because there was smoke in her unit. She died in the fire. And now they're saying they think the fire was caused by a faulty toaster oven.

Just think--a $25 kitchen appliance caused all this.

Fire at Deluxe Apartment in the Sky

I'm blogging this for two reasons. First of all, a similar fire broke out in 2002 when a unit owner fell asleep with a lit cigarette. I'm outraged that the building didn't install a sprinkler system in each unit. They decided to install sprinkler systems in the common areas, and a PA system in the halls, because individual sprinklers would be too expensive.

I will not implode with rage. I won't. I'll just say that the saying "penny wise/pound foolish" comes to mind.

But the second reason I'm blogging is that I feel so blessed. At the time of the fire, our apartment was uninhabited. If you watch the videos of the fire when it was burning, you can see my neighbor looking out of his window to see what's going on. Our windows are right next door, and they're dark.

We lived in the condo full time in 2007 when we were having some renovations done in our house in Newtopia. I can't imagine what it would be like to wake up with my building turning into the towering inferno. Imagine having to evacuate in the middle of the night when it's zero degrees.

Fire at Deluxe Apartment in the Sky

Or, as could easily have been the case, not waking up at all.

And when we're not there, we frequently put up guests. The Jokes have stayed there. My in-laws stay there all the time. My friend Liz jokes that our place is a bed & breakfast for her overflow guests. My BlogHer buddies have stayed there several times. Hell, I threw a cocktail party on our roof deck during BlogHer09. You were all invited. Some of you came.

My 87-year old mother stayed there last month. And partied! With her 87-year-old cronies!

No, I'm not whining about a thing. I'm walking on air.

Smoky, stinky, thick air that's full of particulate matter--but air, nonetheless.