Why our children are doomed as doomed can be.

So my husband and I are fixing dinner. And our son is in the kitchen, doing his science homework at the kitchen table. He's working on quantitative and qualitative properties.

Young Master Buxom: What's a qualitative property? I need to describe the qualitative properties of my pencil.

Mr. Buxom: A qualitative property describes something without using numbers. So how would you describe your pencil?

Young Master Buxom: ...

Mrs. Buxom [helpfully] Well, it's hard.

Mrs. Buxom: [Catching Mr. Buxom's eye and smiling brightly] And it's longer than it is around. [She starts to walk towards Mr. Buxom, shaking with silent laughter.]

Mr. Buxom: And it has a rubbery tip.

[Mr. Buxom and Mrs. Buxom start laughing helplessly. In fact, Mrs. Buxom laughs so hard she starts to wheeze.]

Will Young Master Buxom go on to win the Nobel Prize? Stay tuned.