It's Friday. I should be on the way to the gym.

I promised pal Fiddledeedee that I'd go.

But I think it's about time I really addressed this Christmas situation.

I mean, all the rest of you are busy, busy, busy. Joke's even baking cookies, and Joke, like most good cooks, hates to bake. Badger's flashing the neighbors. And blackbird is putting us all to shame.

I could spend all day reading people's blogs and feeling inadequate. But FINE, people. I get the hint. So today I'm going to:

1. Order Amazon gift cards for all my kids' teachers.
2. Order Amazon gift cards for my relatives.
3. Order an Ikea gift card for my sister-in-law.
4. Order Christmas flowers for my mother and sister.
5. Order stocking stuffers for my kids.
6. Order a surprise for a friend who reads this blog, so shhhhhhh!
7. Go out and buy new bathrobes for everyone. One of them will be my husband's birthday present. Which was Wednesday.
8. Go out and buy my husband a GPS system for his birthday. Again, two days ago.
9. Make sure we have all the ingredients for Friday pizza night.
10. Send out some Christmas cards.
11. Mail a package to my brother-in-law.
12. Make my grocery list, and as I'm out and about, pick up items from it.
13. Do something about my dining room, which looks drab and colorless now that I've removed all the shit that doesn't belong there.
14. BUY BATTERIES because God knows the window candles won't last the season without reinforcements.
15. Write thank-you notes to people who have given me stuff or been amazingly kind.

On Saturday I will:

1. Send out more Christmas cards.
2. Bake cookies for Santa, and not incidentally, my children.

On Sunday I will:

1. Go to church and choir rehearsal.

On Monday I will:

1. Go to church, singing at the 8:00 p.m. and 11:30 p.m. services.

On Tuesday, I will:

1. Fall into bed about 2:00 a.m.