Saturday, March 6, 2010

30 Days to 10 years younger--10 minute tips. Tip 5: Perk up the girls

I live very near a very large high school, so for the past 12 years, I've become increasingly conscious of teenaged breasts. Specifically, how high up they are.

Supposedly, when you're wearing a bra, your nipple is supposed to be halfway between your shoulder and your elbow. Would somebody tell these teenaged girls? Because seriously, their nipples appear to be an inch south of their collarbones. If that.

For proof, check out 15-year old Michelle Trachtenberg (and 23-year-old Sarah Michelle Gellar.)

Now check out Bea Arthur as Maude.


Or check out Meryl Streep and Amanda Seyfried in Mamma Mia.


Bea and Meryl don't look terrible. In fact, they both look pretty great. But they would both have benefited from a bit more lift and separate.

I want you to try on every bra you own and get rid of any that aren't working. If you're using the tightest hook and the highest strap setting but you still fail the pencil test, you've achieved bra fail. Ditto if you've washed it so many times that it's getting hard to read the label. And if you can't remember where and when you bought it, chances are it isn't doing what you paid it to do.

This also includes bathing suits.

Uma, Uma, Uma. Please. You know better.

So please. Toss out the bras that have passed their expiration date. Today.

Remember, diamonds are forever, but the same can't be said of spandex.

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