It's official. I'm Math Barbie.

So you know how life has become one long teacher telephone call?

It's because my son, a freshman in high school, is crashing and burning. And he's doing it so completely that soon I'm going knock on his bedroom door to tell him that it's time to leave for his cello lesson, and I'm going to find nothing but a bunch of skid marks and a charred, smoking smudge on his bedroom rug.

Last night I worked with him on his Latin translation for about an hour. I don't know which of the two of us found it more challenging, the person who is currently bungie jumping his Latin grade, or the person who didn't "get" Latin when she took it 40 years ago--and no, I am not exaggerating; I really am that old.

All I know that the Bible nailed it: caeci caecos ducentes, or, the blind are leading the blind. The full quotation is apt: If one blind person leads another blind person, both will fall into a ditch. So I'm hoping that I remembered a few rudiments about gender, number, and case. And didn't push him closer to the edge of the Biblical ditch.

So anyway, guess which math teacher called to tell me about trouble in math class?

My daughter's.

Whee!

Now I have to go all Japanese housewife and help both of them with their homework, make sure their backpacks are organized, blah blah blah ... but what about dinner? What about relaxing in the evening? Spending time with my Japanese husband?

Forget that. He's too busy helping our son with his math. Because I can't handle it.

So here's the deal; I've always had the first shift: taking care of household matters while the kids are in school. You know the drill; grocery shopping, laundry, dropping off the dry cleaning, decluttering, buying the underwear. This is also when I fit in some volunteer work. And blogging.

Then there's the second shift: feeding the spawn and dealing with various kid-related matters once they get home.

But I always had some free time to myself in the evening. And now ... well, I was doing Latin last night until 10:00.

Any second now I'll be standing outside holding up a sign: WILL BLOG 4 TUTORING.

Meanwhile, it's time to dust off the slow cooker. Anyone have any good recipes?