52. Going to the beach.
51. Anti-semitism. These days it bothers me even more than racism.
50. Foodies. I like food and I'm a good cook, but if you start talking about pink Himalayan salt, I'll have to hurt you.
49. Boozies. Shut up and get drunk.
48. The fashion industry for deciding that everything 10 years old is hideous, but everything 20 years old is cool.
47. The fashion industry for making the revival of grunge and flannel not only inevitable, but predictable.
46. Those stickers on the outside of CDs.
45. The record industry for jacking up the price of recordings when they switched to CDs.
44. The record industry for whining when people bought MP3s instead.
43. Badly trained children.
42. Badly trained dogs.
41. Cars with filthy, smelly interiors.
40. Men who wear pants that are too short.
39. Women who wear bras that don't fit.
38. Forty-something women who refer to other women the same age as "girls."
37. Forty-something women who want to be referred to as "girls."
36. People who think sororities or fraternities are important when they're over 25.
35. People who are still all rah-rah about their college when they're over 35.
34. Highways that have rest areas 100 miles apart. I am not a camel.
33. Men who dye their hair.
32. Men who dye their facial hair.
31. People who talk about stuff like their operations or their sex lives without realizing that maybe the rest of the world is kind of squeamish and/or prudish. Because I am.
30. People who wear horrible looking clothes because "they're comfortable." Fine. But what harm have my eyeballs ever done you?
29. People who are constantly yakking on their cell phones.
28. 4:00 on Sunday afternoon.
27. When Blockbuster doesn't have the disk I want.
26. Muzak. Especially now that it's oldies.
25. Library fines. They should feel grateful they're getting my tax dollars, but no, they nickel and dime me to death.
24. The stubble-faced look guys have been working for far too long. Between Hugh Laurie and Patrick Dempsey, I have an overwhelming urge to mow my lawn, and it's January.
23. Family members who announce they're coming to stay with me.
22. Anyone who thinks it's cool to refer to executives as "the suits."
21. Women who refuse to age. Madonna is the Marlene Dietrich of our time. It's not glamorous, it's scary.
20. People who don't take their crying children out of a public gathering immediately, and I say "immediately" begins with the second audible squawk.
19. Fishing my family's underpants out of their clothes when I do the laundry.
18. Pizza crusts with cheese in them. Like it wasn't already fattening enough.
17. People who talk to me on airplanes. I'll play along, but I'll resent every second of lost "me" time.
16. Thomas Kinkade.
15. My daughter's Uggs.
14. People who talk about television. I worked in an office where every morning they rehashed last night's television programs. Then they moved on to what they had had for dinner. And they wonder why I quit.
13. People who talk about sex.
12. People who comment only to disagree with me. That's what the trash barrel button is for. This is not a democracy; it's a blogtatership.
11. The idea that because I blog, I'm a brand. Like what, Spandex? Playtex? Geritol?
10. Food with ingredients that get stuck in my teeth. Poppy seeds, I'm looking at you. (And don't think I'm not aware of your perfidy, spinach.)
09. Guys who talk around me at black tie events because I'm only a housewife. Believe it or not, this has actually happened. I know.
08. Piercings.
07. People who don't laugh at my jokes, and instead, tell me that I'm funny. Hey, mister state-the-obvious? Way to suck the oxygen out of the room.
06. Happy Meal toys.
05. Groups of teenagers. They're best sampled individually.
04. Getting older. My car, my house, my kids, and me.
03. Surprises.
02. My mother.
01. Know-it-all bloggers who use Avitable's posts as a base for complaining about everything under the sun.
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