If you're feeling like shit / And you need a quick lift / Caffeine

I'm completely freaking out over EVERYTHING, but especially over other people's caffeine levels. Or the lack thereof.

Blackbird says she hasn't had caffeine in 22 years. That's a long time. I haven't known how to drive a car that long, but I've been driving around like the bat in the adage for a fairly long stretch, and always in a highly caffeinated state, or at the very least, wishing I were. I cannot imagine doing without for 22 years.

Then there's Joke, who claims to always drink espresso. With which, frankly, I can't be bothered. The cups are so small. The coffee, while robust in aroma, is frankly, pallid as to caffeine level. And the whole experience is over so soon. You might as well try to stay awake by sniffing the aroma from someone else's cup.

How on earth do they get anything done?

Me, I've got fifty-million things to do, and I'm pumping seriously heavy mugs of coffee to try to keep up with at least some portion of my to-do list. Which at the moment, includes the following:

1. Do laundry, empty refrigerator, tidy house, pack for Spring break.
2. Don't forget the sunscreen.
3. Do any of my spring clothes fit?
4. Crash diet time.
5. Where are our bathing suits?
6. Passports!!!!!!
7. Oh my GOD is it too late to call Disney and book shore leave or whatever they call it?
8. The Jokes are going to join us in Disney World. But are we going to eat any meals together? Probably not, since no one has called Disney Dining to book tables for eight incredibly noisy people--HEY--at least seven of which are not I, so don't look at me, OK?
9. Fundraiser 1: review invitation copy; deal with invitation list; deal with caterer.
10. Fundraiser 2: compose invitation copy, find sample invitation that has been lost for weeks, find similarly lost check from corporate donor, freak out, nag committee members to do their jobs.
11. Inform all teachers who scheduled tests for Friday that (neener neener!) my son and daughter won't be here to take them.
12. Tidy house again so the turtle sitter won't think I'm a slob.
13. Book eyebrow and leg wax, manicure, pedicure, shampoo and blow out for Wednesday morning.
14. Freak out some more.
15. And then some more, for good measure.

You can see why I marvel over other people's lack of caffeine consumption. And that's exactly what I'm doing right now, while drinking yet another mug of coffee, and blogging like a squirrel on crack.