Wednesday, March 29, 2006

OK, so I relented and finally went on some fucking rides. Happy?

We managed to get our sorry butts over to the Magic Kingdom today, where we went on some rides. Not nearly enough, if you're a Disney fanatic like Joke, but enough for us.

Disney update: I am thin. OK, I'm not thin by real world standards, but by Disney standards I am practically sylph-like. This is really sad when you consider that I'm at nearly an all-time non-pregnant high. But there are some very chunky women in these parts. (I may move here.)

In other news, the rides were fine, except ... meh. Rides shmides. We've done it all before. We really needed to experience something new and different. And this proved to be something of a challenge, considering that this is the sixth spring break we've spent at Disney World.

So today we had breakfast at the Main Street Bakery. Yay us! Also, I checked out some of the penny peep shows in the train station. I hit paydirt with "Bouncing Burlesque" and "In Old San Francisco," which was a story about white slavery, featuring some offensively stereotypical Chinese dudes slobbering laciviously over some silent film star white babe. Who knew political incorrectness still flourished at the House of Mouse? Nobody, that's who. Because nobody except me ever bothers to look at the penny peep shows.

Other than that, same old same old.

So for the Poppies, it's has become all about the shopping. In this way we do Disney right. Because Disney is all about separating people from their money.

Now a lot of the time, this means people spend a ton of money on Disney stuff, but the Poppies are shopping over-achievers, and that simply isn't enough for us. Like today. Sure, I bought not one, but two Disney charms for the charm bracelet I don't even own yet. But wait--there's more. We went to the Japanese department store in Epcot tonight and bought green tea and Pokemon toys, and I am now the proud owner of two big packages of Japanese bath salts. And a Speed Racer license plate frame for the minivan.

Now, I'm sure I could buy Japanese bath salts at the local Japanese food store, but that isn't the point, is it? I sort of suspect that Disney won't be happy until it manages to sell me Clarabelle Cow calcium supplements and Minnie Mouse brand tampons. Only then, or when I'm forced to declare bankruptcy, will Disney let my wallet out of its tractor beam.

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