Oh, those wacky drugstore mascaras.

This is part two of a rant about mascaras--specifically, the crazy brushes. The department store part of it is here.

After being disappointed by Dior and Lancome mascaras,  I ventured into a local Walgreen's, hoping that my beloved L'Oreal Double Extend would be on sale.

Holy crap, people. The mascara section looks like Legoland.

Not Revlon's section; they're too dignified, I guess. And not Almay or Neutrogena; they're too busy trying to look pure. But Maybelline, Covergirl, and Rimmel? Their displays look like an explosion in a rainbow factory.

I blame Covergirl's Lash Blast, which came out in 2007. The fat orange tube promised giant fat lashes, and I'm pretty sure it delivers. Unfortunately, the few times I've tried Cover Girl Lash Blast, I've felt like I was trying to apply mascara with a baseball bat. I might be a late bloomer gym bunny, but my fine motor skills are excellent, so it was pretty disconcerting to try to apply this stuff

and get it on my nose. Or smack myself in the eye. I felt like a complete newbie. Me! But it's not my fault. Look at the size of the brush. And the stem that attaches it to the handle is as big around as my leg.

The mascara that promises super thick lashes gets packaged in a big fat tube, but wait!

The mascara that promises to build length is packaged in a long, slim tube.

And the subtle lash-darkening mascaras, that neither lengthen or thicken particularly dramatically, come in a nice green tube, to prove that they look natural.

(L) Bog brush (R) double helix.

Meanwhile, L'Oreal has apparently explanded beyond my beloved one-end-thickens, one-end darkens formula. Now their double ended mascara will alter your perception of my eye color! (Actually, it won't.) Also please note how the lower end of the wand resembles a bog brush. (I'm using an English slang expression so as not to offend the delicate sensibilities of my American readers.)

And on the right, please check out the double helix that is wrapped around the brush on the new Voluminous brush. I've watched a lot of episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000, and I know this can't be good. I'm afraid to try this mascara for fear that my lashes will mutate.

So, big fat tubes for the volumizing mascaras; long slim tubes for the lengthening mascaras ... I hate to say it, but the utterly transparent marketing efforts offend what's left of my intelligence. And anyway, why does everything have to be so huge? Don't they want their products to fit into my makeup bag? And what about travel? Do I want my pathetic single quart-sized Zip Lock bag to be filled with a monstrous mascara tube and nothing else? I do not.

And really, do they have to be this gaudy?

But I know which drugstore mascara is next on my list to try. CoverGirl Clump Crusher. And not just for the alliteration. No, it's for this video, by Christine at 15 Minute Beauty Fanatic. Watch how she applies 30 coats of it.



I don't know about you, but I'm sold. Even if it comes in a hideous lime green tube and makes me feel about as deft as a Muppet wielding a baseball bat.

What's with all the wacky mascara brushes?

Has anyone else noticed that if you're shopping for a new mascara, it's likely to packaged in a very fat, Crayon-colored tube with a brush that looks like a specialty cleaning tool?

My favorite mascara is my (relatively) old school L'Oreal double ended. One end has that white stuff that makes your lashes look way thicker after you top the white stuff with the colored end. And this particular L'Oreal formula claims to make your lashes healthier. Well, guess what, internet? It's true. My lashes are actually longer and thicker.

The only problem is that my daughter somehow absconded with my tube. Which is highly unhygienic of her, so I told her so. She countered by reminding me that I haven't given her conjunctivitis, which is true. Then she offered to give me back the tube. But I don't want it back now. It is now hers to keep. I mean, she's my daughter, but honestly, I'd rather share her toothbrush. Which is saying a lot.

So anyway, in my search for a replacement, I've been digging through my stash of untrieds. Some were freebies from blogging events, some were travel sizes from GWPs, some arrived in Birchbox or Sample Society shipments.

And most of them were meh.

To start with the most offensive (because I actually paid retail for it) I present

 

 Dior Diorshow Extase Mascara in Plum

This was part of last summer's Nordstrom Anniversary Sale offerings. This collection was all about the purples, so the shade is Plum.

Now, mostly I eschew colored mascara. I'm constantly trying to stifle my inner teenaged girl ("Ooooh! Purple!") and not always succeeding. I realize that Women of a Certain Age can't get away with much in the way of outlandish makeup, but this was an extremely subtle shade of purple. I thought I'd try it to see whether it was softer than black, and flattering to my green eyes.

Well. Not only is it kind of meh in color, it neither lengthens nor thickens substantially. Also, the brush is shaped very strangely. See how it looks like a tiny black bottle brush? I'm sure this is supposed to do something fantastic, but all it did was apply the mascara unevenly.

Lancome Définicils

This is one of those tried-and-true, Allure and InStyle magazine Best-Of winners, so that was my next try. And it is a great mascara for those of us with not-very-long, not-very-thick wispy, insubstantial lashes. Applied lightly, it beefs those babies up and looks great.

Also, it comes in a long, elegant tube and has a normal brush. Both of which are to the good.

The problem lies in its half-life, which approaches plutonium. If I wear it on Monday and remove it Monday night, I wake up with black smudges when I wake up on Tuesday. And Wednesday. And even Thursday.

And so my search continued. Check back tomorrow for Poppy's attempts to replace her beloved L'Oreal Double Extend with another drugstore mascara.

*****

(I have to finish this tomorrow because I'm wiped. I had a fantastic workout today. I did weights and cardio with my trainer, then burned 550 calories on the elliptical. I even came home and took pictures of myself in my workout clothes so I could show you how badly I dress when I'm going to the gym. But now I'm exhausted. This getting up before 6:00 and exercising is wiping me out. It's like I got to my second childhood 20 years early!)

ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz ...

Gym bags for the beauty obsessed

I suppose I could start a month-long series of blog posts devoted to diet and fitness with my stats--how much weight I've lost, how much more I intend to lose--that sort of thing. But I think I should play to my strengths and blog about what I know.

I run into a lot of "what's in my handbag" posts, but I don't read a lot of (read: any) diet/fitness blogs, so I don't know whether people talk about what they keep packed in their gym bags.

But over the past five months, I've kept a bag packed in the car because I've reached the point where I am hit by spontaneous urges to go work out. Yes, really. You never know when the urge to work out will strike! So here's what's in my gym bag--I mean, in addition to workout clothes and clean underwear and flip-flops and such.

Skincare

Even though my skin is, in general drier than it used to be, probably because I am, in general, older than I used to be--working out all the time has a mitigating effect. All that cardio definitely adds a glow, and my skin feels softer and more comfortable. This wouldn't be the case if I were spending two hours a day in a chlorine pool, but since I'm usually working with a trainer or on the elliptical, it's almost as if I'm hitting the steam bath on a regular basis.

Actually, come to think of it, I'm pretty much a walking steam bath. (Yuck!)

Anyway, I've learned that in the morning when I head to the gym, I should be absolutely bare-faced. I really dislike the sensation of sweating off a face full of makeup. I don't even wear moisturizer, since my moisturizer has sunscreen, and when I sweat the sunscreen runs into my eyes and stings. So I do my workout and then go clean up. And finally get around to using some products. But not many!

I always have a package of Oil of Olay wipes

because they're spill-proof, non-irritating, and refreshing.

I carry some Garnier Nutritioniste eye cream

because the eye area is the only part of my face that feels truly dry these days.

And right now, instead of a lot of different skin treatments, I'm just using beauty balm

to see whether it can take the place of moisturizer, sunscreen, and base. So far so good!

Body

I definitely need to put on lotion after a shower, so I've been relying heavily on scented body lotions. They're easier than carrying fragrance and lotion, and they don't break. Right now I'm enjoying Chanel #19.

Hair

Ack, hair. OK, I hate the hair dryers at my gym because they don't have nozzles to concentrate the air flow, and when I use them, my hair ends up a frizzy mess. That means if I really want to look good, I have to pack my own blow dryer. And a brush. And a heat-styling product. And maybe a flat-iron. Which adds up to a second gym bag just for my hair.

So what I really do is check to see how well my hair has survived my workout. If I think I can get away with it, I use a shower cap and skip the shampoo / blowout. Of course, I make sure I have some covered elastic bands. And some Klorane dry shampoo. I mean, I'm not totally without standards.

I can see your eyes rolling from here. Great. The internet thinks I'm gross. FINE.

Makeup

I always pack a stash of makeup in my gym bag, because when I get rushed, I am wont to do things like pack a full-on ladies-who-lunch outfit--and then forget to bring my makeup.

When I'm getting dressed at home, I'll amuse myself by coordinating my makeup to my outfit--say, gray and plum eye shadows when I'm wearing purple. But for the gym, I need to carry a bag of basic makeup that is guaranteed to look good with anything I'm wearing. It should also be non-breakable, leak-proof, and cheap, since it's going to be spending a lot of time in the car.

In addition to my beauty balm, I tend to carry a cream blush in a goes-with-everything shade of pale rose pink.

 Revlon Colorburst Lip Butter in Pink Truffle

Mascara and eyelash curler

Concealer

And an eye quad for when I really feel like putting on the dog.

I've just invented a new acronym, NASII, which stands for Nordstrom Anniversary Sale induced insanity

OK, it doesn't look like much--NASII--but it's pronounced nay-see to rhyme with crazy, which is pretty much how I acted.

So let me get you up to speed.

First of all, until July 20th, the Anniversary Sale is only available to Nordstrom card holders. You can't even access that section of their website without typing in the last four digits of your Nordstrom credit card number.

I wanted to grab some pictures and maybe find out whether Nordstrom was actually offering Chanel's formerly-exclusive-to-Asia Fleur de Lotus collection, so I dug through my box of rarely-used credit cards, looking for my Nordstrom card. And I couldn't find it.

Because I was a makeup hoor* on a mission, I called customer service, where I was told that they had no record of my having a card. So I applied for a new one.

Then, after a visit to the gym, where my daughter hummed a little hum and pedaled 20 miles on a stationary bike without breaking a sweat and I was reduced to a limp, sweaty, incoherent rag by my personal trainer, we cleaned up our act, fueled ourselves with Mocha smoothies (caffeine and protein FTW!) and headed to the Nordstrom at Old Orchard mall.

Where I promptly lost. my. mind. I've shopped the Anniversary Sale online, but this scene was beyond exciting. It was electric. Not ridiculously crowded, and with lots of sales associates ready and willing to help out. But with sections of the store draped off as seductive little private shopping enclaves, it's very easy to lose it.

Don't believe me? Well, see these collections?

Dior

Chanel

Bobbi Brown

I bought every single item.

And then escaped to the relative sanity of the shoe department. And yes, I understand the irony of calling the shoe department of the department store that sells more shoes than any other--during a sale where merchandise is marked down 30 percent--sane.

I don't know about you, but I blame my trainer.

Swatches and reviews to come. 


* Deliberately misspelled in a feeble attempt to clean up my act.

Beauty Deals and Exclusives at Nordstrom's Anniversary Sale: Dior

Considering that we're just emerging from a hellacious heat wave, it feels ridiculously early to be talking about fall shopping. But that's the beauty of the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale; it forces chronically unorganized types like me to plan ahead.

About Nordstrom's Anniversary Sale

Now, when most people think about this sale, they focus on new fall clothes, and rightly so. The anniversary sale is unique because Nordstrom discounts brand-new, just-coming-into-season merchandise long before people like me have started to think about fall clothes. Prices are slashed 30 percent--but then they go back up. So you see, one must think clearly and weigh one's option. Constant vigilance! Or one will end up paying retail.

Of course, for me, the real focus is in the cosmetics department. Products that ordinarily don't see the light of day in the U.S. get brought in. Special collections are put together. Exclusives are made available. Stuff goes on sale. It's a beauty junky's waking dream.

And for once, I'm not focusing only on the offerings at the Chanel counter.

Dior's A Purple Revolution Anniversary Collection 

When it comes to Dior, I'm a newbie. I only have a few Dior products, and the line still confuses me. I mean, what's with this whole Dior Addict name? I don't get it.

But one look at this nail polish collection and I fell like a ton of bricks.  Say hello to Shadow, Poison, and Orchid.

Les Violets Hypnotizes Vernis ($23.00 each)

And here, in a slightly less arty photograph:

Aren't they gorgeous?

I took one look at the photographs and fell in love. Purple is my favorite nail polish color. If there was anything that would make me want to rush through summer, it would be the opportunity to try out some gorgeous new purples on my nails.

Rumors of this collections release started circulating months ago, and I put up with the usual emotional roller coaster ride associated with any kind of crazy infatuation. I suffered through the highs and lows of a lovesick teenager. You know what I'm talking about: they were coming to the States! No they weren't! Dior loves me! Dior loves me not!

But now they'll be coming to Nordstrom. I can practically relax.

The collection also features a purple smoky eyes palette, which I'm not going to talk about because you and I should not be wearing purple, sparkly eye shadow. But the collection also includes two things that might look lovely on us: the Diorshow Extase Mascara in Plum ($28.50), 

and a Dior Addict Ultra-Gloss in Draped Lilac ($28.00)

The mascara and gloss look gorgeous, and I hope, are soft, wearable shades that will be flattering to my fair skin and hazel eyes.

For the record, Dior Addict Ultra-Gloss is my absolute favorite wand gloss, and that's saying a lot. I've bought more than my fair share of ridiculously expensive department store glosses, and Dior Addict Ultra-Gloss leaves Chanel's Glossimers and Guerlain's KissKiss glosses sitting in the road. Does that make me a Dior Addict? Maybe so.

For more pictures and swatches, even of that eye shadow trio that I don't recommend, check out this post in My Beauty Black Book. And join me in counting down to the sale.

Nordstrom's annual Anniversary Sale runs from July 20 to August 6th, 2012. Nordstrom card holders have the option of becoming members of Fashion Rewards and getting first crack at the sale. If I were you, I'd look into it, because sometimes the anniversary goodies blow out of the store. To apply, call 1-800-967-4918.

L'Oreal's Double Extend with Lash Boosting Serum works! And it won't make you blind.

Jan Marini's late, lamented, and very naughty lash growth serum

Like a lot of other idiots, when Jan Marini came out with her original Age Intervention eyelash growing serum, I bought a tube of the stuff. Even though it cost--wait for it--$160. The shame! It burns.

There was some science blather that didn't really interest me about how it worked--I knew it started as glaucoma medication, contained prostaglandin, and worked by arresting the eyelashes' growth/shedding cycle. The main thing was that it worked.

But then my gorgeous friend Liz saw an article saying that using this miracle lash growing potion was a really bad idea. It mentioned scary things like iris color change and blindness and whatnot. And Jan Marini recalled the product. So I stopped using it, and my eyelashes devolved to their original wispy, pathetic state.

Then, the other day, I spotted L'Oreal's Double Extend mascara. I've been using L'Oreal's Double Extend mascaras for years, so I was intrigued. Because this formula included lash boosting serum.

You're familiar with these two-ended mascaras, right? One end is color, and the other is usually primer. To the eyelash-challenged, these formulas are a godsend, and well worth taking a little extra time to apply.

L'Oreal's Double Extend (with lash boosting serum!) works just like the usual two-step mascara. I curl my lashes, apply one coat of primer (with lash boosting serum!) and then top with the color coat. As with other two-step mascaras, I find I have to apply the color coat very lightly to prevent clumping.

The result? Long, dark, thick lashes that don't smear, flake, or give me morning-after raccoon eyes.

And I swear my lashes are looking longer. And I've only been using it once or twice a week. What with summer road trips, the house being full of painters, and Chicago being struck by heavy rains followed by flooding in my basement, I just haven't really been in the mood to slap on a lot of spackle.

At any rate, two enthusiastic thumbs up for L'Oreal's Double Extend (with lash boosting serum!) It works as well as their usual mascaras, and it seems to be doing something to beef up my feeble fringe.

Ten Things

Blackbird posted recently about ten things that have been good at the office. I'm coming down with something, so at the moment, my office is my king sized bed--but I have 10 good things to tell you about:

1. On the personal front, in the last two weeks, I've survived: a trip to the dentist, two school concerts, three annual meetings, three non-annual meeting-related ladies' luncheons, a Girl Scout's Cadet's flying up ceremony, an engagement party, and Mother's Day. Internet, that is a LOT of irreproachably ladylike behavior from the somewhat loud, obnoxious, and irreverent likes of me.

2. Jen Lancaster's latest book, My Fair Lazy, came out on May 5, and it's already a best-seller. I appear as a character in this book, which means I'm even more famous than I was a month ago. You'll be glad to hear that fame hasn't made some kind of monster of me. I'm pretty humble about the whole thing. But not so humble that I wouldn't want to make sure that the internet realizes Jen didn't actually make me up.

3. Physician's Formula matte eyeshadow quads are rocking my world. They're dirt cheap and the quality is excellent. They're so soft, subtle, blendable, and fun to play with that I'm doing a full-on three-shades-of-eyeshadow dealio every day--even when the only time I see another human being is when I'm wheeling out the recycling bin.

4. Milani has a retractable lip pencil that has stolen the crown from my previous faves, Chanel Nude and Prestige Angora. It's creamier, more of a my-lips-but-better-shade, and I don't have to sharpen it. Mind you, I don't wear it as a liner. I use it all over my lips as a base for gloss. And at $3.49, it's cheap, cheap, cheap.

5. I snagged this pair of Fly London purple Mary Janes on Amazon for something like $50. They are so comfortable! Who cares if my daughter asked me why I always wear such silly shoes? And anyway, it could have been worse. I could have clicked over to Gravity Pope and bought these:

so really, I don't know what her problem is.

6. The Garnier Nutritioniste moisturizer that I love so much that I'm on my fourth bottle? And was afraid had been discontinued? Has NOT been discontinued. The packaging was re-designed. I snagged five bottles of the old design for $2.49 each. (Although the shipping costs were a heinous $14.50.)

7. Lancome's Divine Lasting Curves curling mascara actually works. It is perfect for keeping in my makeup bag, because who wants to carry around an eyelash curler? (This is a rhetorical question being asked by the woman who found three eyelash curlers in her bag the last time she cleaned it out.)

8. Lancome also has an eyeshadow that I got recently as a GWP and just adore. So should you if you have hazel//green eyes. The shade is  called Designer. It's a olive green shade with lots of shimmer--but it's incredibly subtle. I know I'm a strong advocate of a basic, neutral eye shadow, but this stuff goes on sheer and is much more subtle than it looks.

9. Kari at Fabulous Over Forty has called my attention to a root touch-up product that comes packaged like a marker pen. I can't wait to head to Ulta to try it. This sounds like a perfect product for those EEK MY ROOTS ARE SHOWING days.

10. I've accumulated a bunch of neutral eyeshadow quads to tell you about soon. I promise. (When I'm not lying here on my bed of pain, that is.) And some of them are really nice!

30 Days to 10 years younger--10 minute tips. Tip 17: Be a brownie

You might be wondering why on earth Pamela Anderson is doing in a blog post aimed at beauty and style for women of a certain age. Well, duh, I'm using her as an example of what not to do. And I'm not going after her super-thin eyebrows and super-obvious implants. I'm going after her eyelashes.

Mascara has become like a Model T Ford--you can have any color you want, as long as it's black. Which is OK, as long as you think everyone looks best in black mascara. Unfortunately, I don't.

Black mascara is lovely at night, but for broad daylight, I find it a bit stark and artificial looking. If you're blonde, redhead, or like me, an aging brunette, you'll probably look better in a softer shade of brown/black or brown. In fact, if you're a redhead, you'll probably look best in auburn--if you can find it anywhere.

Unfortunately, most drugstore mascaras only come in black, super-plus-blackest-black, and black/brown. I checked L'Oreal, CoverGirl, Maybelline, and Revlon, and the story was almost always the same.

There are drugstore brands that offer brown mascara, but you have to dig pretty deep. Almay has at least one mascara available in brown.

For years, Max Factor was the only line with a mascara for redheads; unfortunately they're leaving the States. The mascara is still available at Drugstore.com, though. And Revlon's DoubleTwist line includes a shade called Blackened Ruby that looks auburn.

Fortunately, the latest fad in drugstore mascaras appears to be ones that emphasize the color of your eyes. Physician's Formula sells a brown mascara, and in addition, their intensive i-color mascara and intense i-color mascara with light interplay both claim to intensify eye-color. They're available in four shades. CoverGirl sells a similar line.

Department store lines offer a wider variety of mascara shades: Estee Lauder has several formulas that come in brown and and even navy blue; MAC has some browns, and so does Lancôme. (Lancôme also sells specialty mascaras, like gold and silver. But that's not the point of this post.)

Boutique brands like Jane Iredale, BeneFit, and Sephora offer mascaras in a variety of interesting shades. In fact, if you go to the Sephora website and do a search for "brown mascara," you'll discover that there are plenty of options.

The trick is to not go crazy. Colored mascara can be fun, but it's not something to wear if you want to be taken seriously. For proof, remember Princess Diana and her blue eyeliner and matching eyelashes. I'll confess to having developed a certain degree of fascination with colored mascaras, and I'm trying like crazy not to succumb to Yves St. Laurent Fascinating Violet or the Benefit BadGAL in Plum.

I remember the 80s and I don't think the world has yet recovered from my experiments with Princess Di-style cobalt blue.

Or my Two-Faced glitter lashes in the 90s when seriously? I was old enough to know better.

But while I busy myself locking up my credit cards and backing away from the Sephora website, I urge you to think about whether the black mascara you've been wearing for years and years is actually doing you any favors. Or could you, like the women pictured here, benefit from a softer look around the eyes?

Elsewhere:

The Beauty Blog has a great post on mascaras for redheads here.

Did you know that there is a beauty blog devoted to mascara? There is. It's called Clumps of Mascara. Currently on hiatus, but still packed with useful reviews. Click here.