Red, White, and Blue

I hope you all had a wonderful fourth. We did--Mr. Buxom was in San Diego earlier this week, but made it home today to drive up to Jen Lancaster's for a fourth of July pool party. Jen's decorations, food, and friends were all wonderful, Fletch did yeoman's work with the grill--and oh, that pool ... I'll tell you something ... we're all a little self-conscious when it comes to prancing around in our swimsuits, but when it's over 100 degrees, you can get all four Buxoms to put on their bathing suits and jump into the pool.

My wardrobe and accessories were deeply patriotic, and would be if I lived in the UK, France, or Australia. In fact, it was difficult to tell whether I was celebrating the Queen's Diamond Jubilee, Bastille Day, or Independence Day.

I wore a navy blue polo shirt, white jeans, red poppy sandals, a red white and blue Hermes bangle, and patriotic nail polish.

After too short a time at Jen's, we headed back home for a picnic with friends before our town's fireworks display. Amazing fireworks, synchronized to "76 Trombones" and "Anchors Away" and the 1812 Overture--and people actually sang the national anthem.

Again, great food, great people, festive atmosphere, and patriotic nail polish worn by yours truly.

Tomorrow the holiday feeling will end for us all. Mr. Buxom will go back to work. I'll head back to the gym. And Young Master Buxom will start summer school, where he'll be taking Consumer Education. How much do you bet that in the first week, they'll teach the students not to spend all their money on nail polish?

I hope your Fourth was glorious!

A data dump, because otherwise I'll never manage to post again.

OMG, people. I'd tell you that real life has me by the balls, except I don't have any. And I have so much to do today, I can't stand it. So I'm going to do the blogging equivalent of what I do when I haven't written my mother a letter in a really long time and the stuff I need to tell her keeps mounting higher and higher and I get carpal tunnel syndrome just thinking of how many pages I'll have to write to get her up to speed.

(My mother is old skool and expects written letters.) But sometimes the idea of writing everything down is overwhelming, and I have to just dump the data. So I call her up and babble at her for an hour.

So let's pretend that I called you up, and you asked me how I was.

1. As soon as Christmas was over, I got going on Operation Get The Girl Child Into a Private School, because honestly? I really don't see her doing all that well at the huge John Hughes-ish high school in our district.

So there were campus visits and shadow days and SSATs and application-writing. The good news is the more we found out about the local private schools, the more we realized that only one would really work for her, so that's the only school she had to apply to. But then? She didn't get in. So that accounts for about six weeks of being crazily busy, culminating with much time spent comforting the girl child.

2. The many Clean House mini-marathons I've watched since discovering this amazing show have inspired me to really take charge of my house, but the cleaning alone is overwhelming--and that's not even dealing with the clutter. And I think I'm getting a little compulsive. I mean, I'm sitting here thinking about how I really need to mop the kitchen floor.

3. I haven't been talking about style because my shopping has been confined to Christmas presents and the cleaning product aisle of the supermarket--with occasional trips to Bed Bath and Beyond for closet stuff.

4. In related news, how did I not know about the wonders of the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser before now? I bought one a long time ago and discovered it sitting in my broom closet, still in the package. But when I opened it up and tried it on a stubborn scuff mark on a baseboard, the clouds parted and a chorus of angels began to sing. And then I ran around looking for stubborn scuff marks to clean. I also did an entire bathroom floor, at which point, the plump, exuberant, snow white Mr. Clean Magic Eraser was reduced to a sad, skimpy festered lily--that's how much fun I was having.

5. You should see what a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser does for a stainless steel kitchen sink that has been sullied with tea and coffee stains. Shines it right up.

6. I'm thinking of using a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser on my teeth.

7. Just kidding.

8. Blackbird tells me she approves of the rebooted Talbots. Have you checked it out? Everyone talked about the new Burberry and the new Brooks Brothers and the new this and the new that, but where's the love for the new Talbots? I tell you what: I've picked up a few things there and have been deliriously happy. The latest is these gold hidden platform sandals

which are lovely and retro and astonishingly comfortable.

9. Recently, Jen and Wendy and Susie Sunshine and Blackbird and I had a combination girls' weekend/Tour of Homes, where we checked out Wendy's addition and Casa Fletchcaster and my place too, although with all the Mr. Clean Magic Erasing, I'm surprised there was anything left to see.

Interested parties were also treated to Jen and Poppy's John Hughes movie location tour. We visited Kevin's house from Home Alone, the park where Kevin visits Santa, Cameron's House from Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and Jake Ryan's house from 16 Candles.

When I admitted to never having seen 16 Candles, we had a movie night and watched it. And I'm so glad I did, for several reasons. First of all, Anthony Michael Hall is completely adorable in 16 Candles, which is great because he makes me a little crazy in The Breakfast Club. Also, Jen wasn't giving us any of her home-made lasagna until we'd watched the movie, and the lasagna was incredible.

10. Jen gave us all pre-publication copies of her latest book and first novel, If You Were Here. John Hughes cognoscenti will understand the title, which I understand now too, courtesy of our movie night. Anyway, I read it and it's great. Two very enthusiastic thumbs up. If you like Jen's books and/or John Hughes movies, you'll love it.

11. And here's an extra bit of data as a GWP: I recently made a complete fool out of myself by calling on my twitter army to shame Crate and Barrel into delivering the sectional I ordered from them in October. This was pretty much of a total failure, since I have no twitter minions to speak of. Still, if you'd like to see how a baby boomer who grew up watching syndicated episodes of Gilligan's Island uses social media to bend a major corporation to her will, check out my twitter stream.

It's been a glorious week, featuring a not-so-glorious looking Poppy

I met a psychiatrist on Monday and mentioned that I'm a style blogger. I'm sure he was all "delusions of grandeur" and "psychotic episode," because people, I looked like crap.

That's because I've spent most of the week--which has been absolutely perfect in terms of early fall weather--setting up the sewing and crafts room for my church's annual rummage sale.

Image borrowed from carla-at-home

This is not a crafts blog, and those of you who have been reading for a while will notice that I don't tend to spend a lot of time talking about sewing, quilting, embroidery, or needlepoint. You might be wondering why a glamorous style blogger like me is spending hours pricing packages of rickrack.

OK, I would totally volunteer for the makeup and skincare room, except they don't have one.

But really, the whole thing is Wendy's fault. See, I went to the rummage sale with her last year, and she bought out the sewing room. She walked out of there with something like her 14th sewing machine and several bushels of Liberty fabric, plus reams of seam binding, interfaces, and other sewing effluvia. This year she's too busy having an addition added to her house to volunteer, so somehow--don't ask me how, it's a mystery--I'm doing it instead.

At moments like this, I wonder why, when Jen Lancaster was researching volunteer opportunities, she didn't just follow me around. The way I look at it, volunteer jobs are kudzu, and my time is the southern landscape. They stick to me like burrs. They're as inevitable as white dog hair on a pair of black pants. Jen would have polished off her research in a couple of days.

Speaking of black pants and Jen Lancaster, a bunch of us will be going to a book signing tomorrow to meet Lisa Birnbach, editor of The Official Preppy Handbook and her recent follow-up, True Prep.

I'll be eating lunch with Wendy and Jen and Stacey as well as some other friends of mine that you probably don't know because they're not all over the internet.

The good news is that I've lost 10 pounds since August, and can just get into my favorite black pants. I don't know what else I'm wearing, though. I'm thinking a pink cashmere twinset from Brooks Brothers with an Hermes scarf with pink and green in it. I think that would be preppy enough.

If not, I can always add a string of pearls.

Ten Things

Blackbird posted recently about ten things that have been good at the office. I'm coming down with something, so at the moment, my office is my king sized bed--but I have 10 good things to tell you about:

1. On the personal front, in the last two weeks, I've survived: a trip to the dentist, two school concerts, three annual meetings, three non-annual meeting-related ladies' luncheons, a Girl Scout's Cadet's flying up ceremony, an engagement party, and Mother's Day. Internet, that is a LOT of irreproachably ladylike behavior from the somewhat loud, obnoxious, and irreverent likes of me.

2. Jen Lancaster's latest book, My Fair Lazy, came out on May 5, and it's already a best-seller. I appear as a character in this book, which means I'm even more famous than I was a month ago. You'll be glad to hear that fame hasn't made some kind of monster of me. I'm pretty humble about the whole thing. But not so humble that I wouldn't want to make sure that the internet realizes Jen didn't actually make me up.

3. Physician's Formula matte eyeshadow quads are rocking my world. They're dirt cheap and the quality is excellent. They're so soft, subtle, blendable, and fun to play with that I'm doing a full-on three-shades-of-eyeshadow dealio every day--even when the only time I see another human being is when I'm wheeling out the recycling bin.

4. Milani has a retractable lip pencil that has stolen the crown from my previous faves, Chanel Nude and Prestige Angora. It's creamier, more of a my-lips-but-better-shade, and I don't have to sharpen it. Mind you, I don't wear it as a liner. I use it all over my lips as a base for gloss. And at $3.49, it's cheap, cheap, cheap.

5. I snagged this pair of Fly London purple Mary Janes on Amazon for something like $50. They are so comfortable! Who cares if my daughter asked me why I always wear such silly shoes? And anyway, it could have been worse. I could have clicked over to Gravity Pope and bought these:

so really, I don't know what her problem is.

6. The Garnier Nutritioniste moisturizer that I love so much that I'm on my fourth bottle? And was afraid had been discontinued? Has NOT been discontinued. The packaging was re-designed. I snagged five bottles of the old design for $2.49 each. (Although the shipping costs were a heinous $14.50.)

7. Lancome's Divine Lasting Curves curling mascara actually works. It is perfect for keeping in my makeup bag, because who wants to carry around an eyelash curler? (This is a rhetorical question being asked by the woman who found three eyelash curlers in her bag the last time she cleaned it out.)

8. Lancome also has an eyeshadow that I got recently as a GWP and just adore. So should you if you have hazel//green eyes. The shade is  called Designer. It's a olive green shade with lots of shimmer--but it's incredibly subtle. I know I'm a strong advocate of a basic, neutral eye shadow, but this stuff goes on sheer and is much more subtle than it looks.

9. Kari at Fabulous Over Forty has called my attention to a root touch-up product that comes packaged like a marker pen. I can't wait to head to Ulta to try it. This sounds like a perfect product for those EEK MY ROOTS ARE SHOWING days.

10. I've accumulated a bunch of neutral eyeshadow quads to tell you about soon. I promise. (When I'm not lying here on my bed of pain, that is.) And some of them are really nice!

Where the hell have I been?

I'm sure you're wondering, I haven't posted here in a week and a half. When it comes to major Blog365 fail, I PWN.

Well, among other things, I've been partying with blackbird, Wendy, Susie Sunshine, Carol in Texas, and Jen Lancaster. People; we celebrated Susie Sunshine's birthday in style.

80's style, that is. And you have not lived until you have seen Susie Sunshine in full-out Madonna.

Also, you have not lived until you've seen a birthday cake in disguise as a pocketbook.
A really, really cute pocketbook. And? It was delicious.

And hey, remember that time Jen took an Ambien and drank a glass of wine and ended up ordering a Barbie head? Well, she does human heads, too. See?

Susie Sunshine, Wendy, and Carol-in-Texas after Jen gave them Barbie-head

I've also been blogging all over the place--just not here.

To see how being a die-hard Buffy fan makes me feel old, click here.

To experience me going all Christian Siriano on Jon Gosselin's ass, click here.

To hear me argue that the secret to style is to stay far away from Madonna's vagina, click here.

An uncannily accurate age-guessing quiz--based on one's gut reaction to Elton John--is available here.

Prince William? Or Heir-in-a-Can?

Winding down with a non-snarky post about Gwen Stefani. As a palate-cleanser.

And! To prove that I really do have every intention of becoming the Beauty Boomer, I also posted a BlogHer BeautyHacks post I call How to Wear Shimmery Makeup When You're Over Forty. Available here.

Speaking of beauty--gotta go. I've got a hair appointment, because right now it looks like Roots: The Miniseries around here.