Oh, those wacky drugstore mascaras.

This is part two of a rant about mascaras--specifically, the crazy brushes. The department store part of it is here.

After being disappointed by Dior and Lancome mascaras,  I ventured into a local Walgreen's, hoping that my beloved L'Oreal Double Extend would be on sale.

Holy crap, people. The mascara section looks like Legoland.

Not Revlon's section; they're too dignified, I guess. And not Almay or Neutrogena; they're too busy trying to look pure. But Maybelline, Covergirl, and Rimmel? Their displays look like an explosion in a rainbow factory.

I blame Covergirl's Lash Blast, which came out in 2007. The fat orange tube promised giant fat lashes, and I'm pretty sure it delivers. Unfortunately, the few times I've tried Cover Girl Lash Blast, I've felt like I was trying to apply mascara with a baseball bat. I might be a late bloomer gym bunny, but my fine motor skills are excellent, so it was pretty disconcerting to try to apply this stuff

and get it on my nose. Or smack myself in the eye. I felt like a complete newbie. Me! But it's not my fault. Look at the size of the brush. And the stem that attaches it to the handle is as big around as my leg.

The mascara that promises super thick lashes gets packaged in a big fat tube, but wait!

The mascara that promises to build length is packaged in a long, slim tube.

And the subtle lash-darkening mascaras, that neither lengthen or thicken particularly dramatically, come in a nice green tube, to prove that they look natural.

(L) Bog brush (R) double helix.

Meanwhile, L'Oreal has apparently explanded beyond my beloved one-end-thickens, one-end darkens formula. Now their double ended mascara will alter your perception of my eye color! (Actually, it won't.) Also please note how the lower end of the wand resembles a bog brush. (I'm using an English slang expression so as not to offend the delicate sensibilities of my American readers.)

And on the right, please check out the double helix that is wrapped around the brush on the new Voluminous brush. I've watched a lot of episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000, and I know this can't be good. I'm afraid to try this mascara for fear that my lashes will mutate.

So, big fat tubes for the volumizing mascaras; long slim tubes for the lengthening mascaras ... I hate to say it, but the utterly transparent marketing efforts offend what's left of my intelligence. And anyway, why does everything have to be so huge? Don't they want their products to fit into my makeup bag? And what about travel? Do I want my pathetic single quart-sized Zip Lock bag to be filled with a monstrous mascara tube and nothing else? I do not.

And really, do they have to be this gaudy?

But I know which drugstore mascara is next on my list to try. CoverGirl Clump Crusher. And not just for the alliteration. No, it's for this video, by Christine at 15 Minute Beauty Fanatic. Watch how she applies 30 coats of it.



I don't know about you, but I'm sold. Even if it comes in a hideous lime green tube and makes me feel about as deft as a Muppet wielding a baseball bat.

What's with all the wacky mascara brushes?

Has anyone else noticed that if you're shopping for a new mascara, it's likely to packaged in a very fat, Crayon-colored tube with a brush that looks like a specialty cleaning tool?

My favorite mascara is my (relatively) old school L'Oreal double ended. One end has that white stuff that makes your lashes look way thicker after you top the white stuff with the colored end. And this particular L'Oreal formula claims to make your lashes healthier. Well, guess what, internet? It's true. My lashes are actually longer and thicker.

The only problem is that my daughter somehow absconded with my tube. Which is highly unhygienic of her, so I told her so. She countered by reminding me that I haven't given her conjunctivitis, which is true. Then she offered to give me back the tube. But I don't want it back now. It is now hers to keep. I mean, she's my daughter, but honestly, I'd rather share her toothbrush. Which is saying a lot.

So anyway, in my search for a replacement, I've been digging through my stash of untrieds. Some were freebies from blogging events, some were travel sizes from GWPs, some arrived in Birchbox or Sample Society shipments.

And most of them were meh.

To start with the most offensive (because I actually paid retail for it) I present

 

 Dior Diorshow Extase Mascara in Plum

This was part of last summer's Nordstrom Anniversary Sale offerings. This collection was all about the purples, so the shade is Plum.

Now, mostly I eschew colored mascara. I'm constantly trying to stifle my inner teenaged girl ("Ooooh! Purple!") and not always succeeding. I realize that Women of a Certain Age can't get away with much in the way of outlandish makeup, but this was an extremely subtle shade of purple. I thought I'd try it to see whether it was softer than black, and flattering to my green eyes.

Well. Not only is it kind of meh in color, it neither lengthens nor thickens substantially. Also, the brush is shaped very strangely. See how it looks like a tiny black bottle brush? I'm sure this is supposed to do something fantastic, but all it did was apply the mascara unevenly.

Lancome Définicils

This is one of those tried-and-true, Allure and InStyle magazine Best-Of winners, so that was my next try. And it is a great mascara for those of us with not-very-long, not-very-thick wispy, insubstantial lashes. Applied lightly, it beefs those babies up and looks great.

Also, it comes in a long, elegant tube and has a normal brush. Both of which are to the good.

The problem lies in its half-life, which approaches plutonium. If I wear it on Monday and remove it Monday night, I wake up with black smudges when I wake up on Tuesday. And Wednesday. And even Thursday.

And so my search continued. Check back tomorrow for Poppy's attempts to replace her beloved L'Oreal Double Extend with another drugstore mascara.

*****

(I have to finish this tomorrow because I'm wiped. I had a fantastic workout today. I did weights and cardio with my trainer, then burned 550 calories on the elliptical. I even came home and took pictures of myself in my workout clothes so I could show you how badly I dress when I'm going to the gym. But now I'm exhausted. This getting up before 6:00 and exercising is wiping me out. It's like I got to my second childhood 20 years early!)

ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz ...

Gym bags for the beauty obsessed

I suppose I could start a month-long series of blog posts devoted to diet and fitness with my stats--how much weight I've lost, how much more I intend to lose--that sort of thing. But I think I should play to my strengths and blog about what I know.

I run into a lot of "what's in my handbag" posts, but I don't read a lot of (read: any) diet/fitness blogs, so I don't know whether people talk about what they keep packed in their gym bags.

But over the past five months, I've kept a bag packed in the car because I've reached the point where I am hit by spontaneous urges to go work out. Yes, really. You never know when the urge to work out will strike! So here's what's in my gym bag--I mean, in addition to workout clothes and clean underwear and flip-flops and such.

Skincare

Even though my skin is, in general drier than it used to be, probably because I am, in general, older than I used to be--working out all the time has a mitigating effect. All that cardio definitely adds a glow, and my skin feels softer and more comfortable. This wouldn't be the case if I were spending two hours a day in a chlorine pool, but since I'm usually working with a trainer or on the elliptical, it's almost as if I'm hitting the steam bath on a regular basis.

Actually, come to think of it, I'm pretty much a walking steam bath. (Yuck!)

Anyway, I've learned that in the morning when I head to the gym, I should be absolutely bare-faced. I really dislike the sensation of sweating off a face full of makeup. I don't even wear moisturizer, since my moisturizer has sunscreen, and when I sweat the sunscreen runs into my eyes and stings. So I do my workout and then go clean up. And finally get around to using some products. But not many!

I always have a package of Oil of Olay wipes

because they're spill-proof, non-irritating, and refreshing.

I carry some Garnier Nutritioniste eye cream

because the eye area is the only part of my face that feels truly dry these days.

And right now, instead of a lot of different skin treatments, I'm just using beauty balm

to see whether it can take the place of moisturizer, sunscreen, and base. So far so good!

Body

I definitely need to put on lotion after a shower, so I've been relying heavily on scented body lotions. They're easier than carrying fragrance and lotion, and they don't break. Right now I'm enjoying Chanel #19.

Hair

Ack, hair. OK, I hate the hair dryers at my gym because they don't have nozzles to concentrate the air flow, and when I use them, my hair ends up a frizzy mess. That means if I really want to look good, I have to pack my own blow dryer. And a brush. And a heat-styling product. And maybe a flat-iron. Which adds up to a second gym bag just for my hair.

So what I really do is check to see how well my hair has survived my workout. If I think I can get away with it, I use a shower cap and skip the shampoo / blowout. Of course, I make sure I have some covered elastic bands. And some Klorane dry shampoo. I mean, I'm not totally without standards.

I can see your eyes rolling from here. Great. The internet thinks I'm gross. FINE.

Makeup

I always pack a stash of makeup in my gym bag, because when I get rushed, I am wont to do things like pack a full-on ladies-who-lunch outfit--and then forget to bring my makeup.

When I'm getting dressed at home, I'll amuse myself by coordinating my makeup to my outfit--say, gray and plum eye shadows when I'm wearing purple. But for the gym, I need to carry a bag of basic makeup that is guaranteed to look good with anything I'm wearing. It should also be non-breakable, leak-proof, and cheap, since it's going to be spending a lot of time in the car.

In addition to my beauty balm, I tend to carry a cream blush in a goes-with-everything shade of pale rose pink.

 Revlon Colorburst Lip Butter in Pink Truffle

Mascara and eyelash curler

Concealer

And an eye quad for when I really feel like putting on the dog.

L'Oreal's Double Extend with Lash Boosting Serum works! And it won't make you blind.

Jan Marini's late, lamented, and very naughty lash growth serum

Like a lot of other idiots, when Jan Marini came out with her original Age Intervention eyelash growing serum, I bought a tube of the stuff. Even though it cost--wait for it--$160. The shame! It burns.

There was some science blather that didn't really interest me about how it worked--I knew it started as glaucoma medication, contained prostaglandin, and worked by arresting the eyelashes' growth/shedding cycle. The main thing was that it worked.

But then my gorgeous friend Liz saw an article saying that using this miracle lash growing potion was a really bad idea. It mentioned scary things like iris color change and blindness and whatnot. And Jan Marini recalled the product. So I stopped using it, and my eyelashes devolved to their original wispy, pathetic state.

Then, the other day, I spotted L'Oreal's Double Extend mascara. I've been using L'Oreal's Double Extend mascaras for years, so I was intrigued. Because this formula included lash boosting serum.

You're familiar with these two-ended mascaras, right? One end is color, and the other is usually primer. To the eyelash-challenged, these formulas are a godsend, and well worth taking a little extra time to apply.

L'Oreal's Double Extend (with lash boosting serum!) works just like the usual two-step mascara. I curl my lashes, apply one coat of primer (with lash boosting serum!) and then top with the color coat. As with other two-step mascaras, I find I have to apply the color coat very lightly to prevent clumping.

The result? Long, dark, thick lashes that don't smear, flake, or give me morning-after raccoon eyes.

And I swear my lashes are looking longer. And I've only been using it once or twice a week. What with summer road trips, the house being full of painters, and Chicago being struck by heavy rains followed by flooding in my basement, I just haven't really been in the mood to slap on a lot of spackle.

At any rate, two enthusiastic thumbs up for L'Oreal's Double Extend (with lash boosting serum!) It works as well as their usual mascaras, and it seems to be doing something to beef up my feeble fringe.

Poppy's Excellent Hair Dye Adventure, Part 2: Drugstore Color

This is Part 2 of Poppy's Excellent Hair Dye Adventure. You might want to complete the series by reading Part 1: Poppy is a Salon Color Ho and Part 3: How to be a Silver Fox.

Deciding to take the plunge into at-home hair coloring can be intimidating, so I encourage you to ask for help. And talk about your particular situation. Be frank about the kind of hair you have and how high-maintenance you feel like being; otherwise hair geeks might think that like them, you can think of no greater joy than barricading yourself in the bathroom for two hours a week to tweak your hair color.

Start by asking the person who cuts your hair for advice. Yes, salons often make a rigid distinction between cutters and colorists, but people who cut hair for a living know plenty about hair color. I mean, have you ever seen anyone working in a salon with virgin hair? They're getting their hair colored all the time. If you explain your situation--that you want to cover gray, but don't want to spend a fortune at the salon--you can get great advice about shades and techniques to try.

The people who work at Sally's Beauty Supply also know a lot. And people at MakeupAlley are extremely knowledgeable and helpful. And don't forget the 1-800 numbers printed on the boxes; the people who answer the phone are like the Butterball turkey experts, except about hair color. A friend of mine swears she is not completely bald (following two misguided attempts to go platinum blonde in a single week) solely due to Clairol's free help line.

Different kinds of drugstore color

There are three kinds of hair color: temporary, semi-permanent, and permanent. We're going to skip right over temporary rinses. They're really not designed to provide full coverage, and they're water soluble. You need something that will last past the first rainstorm.

Semi-permanent color like Clairol's Loving Care coat your hair enough to last through anywhere from 5 to 10 shampoos. They're gentle because they don't use ammonia or peroxide to open the hair's cuticle. That means you can't use this kind of product to change your hair color, and you can't lighten your hair with them. If you don't have a lot of gray (less than 25 percent) or your gray isn't resistant to color, this kind of product might be all you need.

Semi-permanent colors add, but can't lift color from your hair. This means they'll only affect the lightest hairs on your head, leaving your darker hairs unaffected. That's why you should always pick a shade that's at least one shade lighter than you want your hair to turn out. Your gray hair will be tinted that shade, and the rest of your hair will be unaffected. This creates a nice highlighted effect.

Demi-permanent color Hair color geeks toss this term around a lot, but you don't always see it in advertisements or packages of color. Also, manufacturers don't use the term consistently--L'Oreal calls this kind of color "non-permanent." This category is actually a stealth version of semi-permanent, so you need to understand what it is and how it works.

Demi-permanent color doesn't just coat the hair; it penetrates the hair somewhat in order to deposit the color. To do this, the formula uses a peroxide developer to lift the cuticle and get the color to penetrate.

This means that even when the color part of the formula fades away, the developer half of it will have bleached your hair a bit. If you use a black shade of demi-permanent color on your black hair, you can't expect your hair to stay black when the color wears off. You'll find that it's lightened a bit, and with lightening comes the dreaded brassiness.

Also, depending on your original shade and the condition of your hair, some demi-permanent color will penetrate the shaft, sometimes permanently. So proceed with caution. Don't use a demi-permanent hair color in Angelina Jolie black or Lucille Ball red on dry, porous platinum blonde hair, and then expect it to shampoo out. It won't happen.

That being said, if you don't have that much gray, a demi-permanent color might do the trick. Clairol's Natural Instincts is a demi-permanent hair color that I used it for years. Call it my gateway hair color. The shades are gorgeous, it does a good job of covering gray, and it doesn't contain any ammonia, so it actually smells nice. And the conditioner that comes in the box is excellent.

Here's a semi- and demi-permanent color trick: when I was getting a semi-permanent base color at the salon, they'd have me sit under a dryer for about 20 minutes. Heat helps this process along, so if your semi-permanent color isn't looking rich enough, this is something to try.

And of course, you realize that the times they mention on the box are hopelessly optimistic when it comes to covering gray, right? I always kept my color on for 10 minutes longer than the longest time they suggested.

Permanent Color

If, like me, you're more than 50 percent gray, you might want to take the leap to permanent color. I've never used a drugstore permanent color, but here's what I've heard:

• Revlon Colorsilk gets very high marks on MakeupAlley, especially for its brown shades.
• Clairol Nice 'n' Easy was designed to cover gray, so it's excellent for that. It's particularly popular for blonde shades. (Gray hair is even more difficult to cover if you're blonde, which frankly, is only fair, considering that blondes have spent years having more fun.)
• Frederic Fekkai gets high marks for every shade, but it should--the complete kit costs $30. Even if you're not going to spend $30, check out their site's video on how to select and apply hair color; it's very good.

If you want highlights

First of all, let me just say this: highlighting your hair at home is not for the faint of heart. Highlights are made with bleach, and bleach is always permanent. Also, with bleach, timing is critical. When you add pigment to your hair, timing is not all that critical--at least, when it comes to damaging your hair. Whether you leave your color on for 20 or 40 minutes, there's a limit to the amount of damage you can do. But bleach removes your hair's color starting with the blue end of the spectrum. Rinse it out too quickly, and you'll end up with orange hair. On the other hand, if you leave the bleach on too long, you'll fry your hair.

• The original home highlighting product, Clairol's ancient Frost and Tip now comes in different kits depending on whether you want to use a cap or paint on streaks. The latter is obviously your best bet if you decide to touch up salon highlights at home.
• Revlon's Frost and Glow comes in three different shades and gets rave reviews.
• L'Oreal's Couleur Experte is a kit with a base color and a highlighting shade for one stop shopping.
• Garnier Nutrisse Nourishing Multi-Lights highlighting kit got a rave review from my pal Badger, and her pictures look better than the pictures on Garnier's website, so check it out.

Dealing with roots

• Roux's Fanci-Full temporary rinse--yes, that stuff you used to see in your grandmother's bathroom--refreshes faded color and conceals roots. If you're using it just for your roots, it's best to decant a small amount into a spray bottle. Another trick is to pour a bit of the rinse into a zip-lock container, then use a sponge or brush to apply. You can keep a dedicated hair-touch-up sponge in the bag in your secret stash of hair color equipment. Next to your bong.
• Another product people like is Roux's Fanci-Full Touch-Up Stick.
• Or you could try a colored mascara ... although sounds a little ooky to me.
• I've already blogged about how much I love Clairol's Nice 'n' Easy Root Touch Up. Here's a tip: when I'm just doing my part and my temples, I don't end up using a lot of product, so I only mix up part of the formula. Then I keep the bottles, tray, brush and little gloves squirreled away in a Zip-Loc bag with my secret hair color stash. Next to my crack pipe.

Tricks to refresh your color

Sunshine and shampoo will eventually fade even the most permanent hair color, so here are some trick to keep your color looking fresh.

• When you're touching up your roots, mix a little of your colorant in your usual conditioner. When you have only a few minutes left of processing time on your roots, apply the mixture to everything but your touched-up roots. Leave on for two minutes, then rinse as usual.
• Use a color depositing shampoo/conditioner. I do this about every third or fourth shampoo. (More would darken my highlights.) I've blogged about this elsewhere.
• Clairol's Shine Happy Glossing Treatment refreshes color and adds shine.

OK, I don't know about you, but I'm way too exhausted to think about this stuff for one more minute.

But let me just say this: when it comes to home hair color, the internet is your friend. You should figure out what you want to buy before you're confronted with walls of intimidating hair color. But some of the manufacturers' sites aren't all that helpful. Based on their site alone, I'd say that L'Oreal is a company to avoid. You can't even tell which of their colors are semi- and which ones are permanent. How is that helpful? Pfft.

Whereas Clairol? I'm ready to invite Clairol for Thanksgiving dinner, that's how much I love their website. So that's something to keep in mind.

Elsewhere:

The Daily Glow has a great primer on hair color

Marie Claire has great advice on picking a hair color

Hair Boutique has more advice on coloring your hair at home.

An explanation of peroxide, how it works, and what the pros know is here.

Killer Strands is opinionated and somewhat loopy, but has lots of great information.