Why Blissdom is my favorite blogging conference

I'll try to keep this short, because one of the things I learned is that y'all have the attention span of gnats. But keeping it short is going to be a challenge, because Blissdom is so amazing.

Instead of telling you, I'll try showing what I learned. See if you can tell whether I picked up any new ideas. Like using sub-headers.

Blissdom bloggers are friendly

Even though I went last year and loved it, I was a little scared to go to Blissdom. You see, last year my friend Jen Lancaster was the Blissdom keynote speaker. If you've ever met Jen, you'll know that to have a good time, all you have to do is follow her around. So I did that. And had a great time.

At this year's Blissdom, I was on my own. But what does that matter when Rachel of A Southern Fairy Tale was the first person to spot me? She steered me to the check-in desk, where I found Linda of Short Pump Preppy and Katie Howard manning the sign-in booth. And then Alli Worthington spotted me and ran down the hall to give me a hug.

Blissdom is like Alli Worthington

If you like Alli, you'll love Blissdom. Like her, it's friendly. It's approachable. It's not stuck up. The warmth and humor are almost palpable.

What other conference opens with a video of the founder's toddler crawling all over her and closes with a Sarah Palin routine?

Blissdom touched my cold, black heart

The exhibitors tables included one called Blissdom Loves Anissa, to send messages to Anissa Mayhew, a much-loved blogger who had a stroke last November.

That Poppy Buxom thinks she can help people
with beauty and style? Irony in action, people!

Some of the messages were more imaginative than others:

The Stiletto Mom is always a class act

Blissdom panels were content-rich

I've been to enough conferences (blogging and academic) to realize that sometimes, big name speakers phone it in. Not at Blissdom. I learned so much, I left the conference with a sink hole where my brain used to be. Luckily, I also left with hand-outs and several pads of notes. (And I hope to post some of them here.)

Blissdom is Attitude-free

It's just small enough that it's really easy to break the ice. Twice I walked up to an almost-full lunch table and said "Is anyone sitting here?" In both cases, the woman I asked said "You are!"

And that's how I got to sit next to the hilarious, talented, Chicagoan Nap Warden and the amazingly smart, funny, and charming Shelly Kramer.

I also had really wonderful, lengthy conversations with Katie Howard, Geekmommy, and Christina of A Mommy Story. I sat next to Amy Allen Clark of MomAdvice. Not to mention getting to hang out again with Michelle Lamar, Liz Strauss, Stiletto Mom, Kelby Carr, and Vodkamom.

Blissdom is a wonderful getaway

Does it hurt that a Chicagoan is flying south in February? No, it does not. And the Opryland Hotel ... well, I couldn't decide whether it was Disney World without the rides, or Vegas without the slots.

This is indoors, people.

I had a great time gawking at the conservatories filled with palm trees and orchids.


They were amazingly lush. And speaking of lush, you really have to admire the co-branding going on with this restaurant. That is, if you like sour-mash-NOT-Bourbon. And I do.

Just so you know, the bartenders here
know how to make a Perfect Manhattan

Oh, and I shopped. Because I felt a burning need to fill in holes in my wardrobe. So if you're in the market for cheetah print lingerie, don't bother looking at Savannah's. I bought it all.

Swaggate? Not at Blissdom

Five days, dozens of wrap-up posts, hundreds and hundreds of tweets--and the only thing I've read that mentioned swag was Shelly Kramer's shout-out to ConAgra for giving us all a Poken.

A Poken to make networking oh-so-easy. (Discloser: I didn't get one. Pay attention here and notice how I don't whine about human error. Because it was OK--I brought my old-skool business cards. I still think ConAgra rocks for coming up with this brilliant idea.)

And the rest of the swag was FABULOUS. We got lovely sturdy Blissdom Lands End tote bags filled with had great stuff: a darling silver and pearl necklace with "Bliss" on it ... two bags of Hershey's Bliss chocolate (which--just so you know--is delicious) a CoverGirl smoky eye kit, two masks from the Bliss Spa, a coupon wallet from Red Plum, a pair of comfy socks from Hanes, a stainless steel water bottle from One2One ... really nice stuff.

See the bag of Waffle Cheddar chips? History.

The Tea Party photo ops

Think Ben realized that the one with the cane is Canadian?

PARTY!11!!!!!

And those intimidating A-list bloggers had to listen to me sing "Jambalaya" at Karaoke night. And in this case, I hope there is no blogging conference take-away. Particularly of the video variety.

UPDATE: Photographic proof that this really occurred exists, courtesy of Heather Durdil:

Poppy demonstrates that "me and my big mouth" has a literal as well
as metaphorical meaning.

Blissdom photo of Harry Connick, Jr. and Poppy Buxom

Photo by Darcy from Life with my three Boybarians

I'm right next to him. (OK, so is Christina, from A Mommy Story). But he totally gave me a squeeze.

Shut up! HE DID.

Blissdom, budgets, and baby boomer beauty

This is what 53 looks like.
(Photo by Rachel)

OK, guys, I know I'm way behind on my Blissdom recaps, but I've been so tired. First I go to Nashville and exhaust everyone by blabbing my fool head off to anyone who'll listen.

Then I come back and have to scale Mount Washmore. (For the non-English-majors: I did laundry. Lots of it.)

Then there was a Girl Scout meeting to teach the wee tots about budgets. (A true case of the blind leading the blind. I'm just sayin.)

The whole time, my head was in a whirl. Lack of sleep, excitement, blabbing, Karaoke, and cocktails will do that to me. But on top of those, something has been percolating.

Partly it was seeing hundreds of Tea Party types at the Opryland and wanting so badly to give them a makeover. Partly it's someone at Blissdom advising us to blog our passions--the things we'd be thinking about even if we weren't blogging. And partly it's seeing so many women who need a nudge. They've been focusing on careers, graduate school, or children, and they look up and ten years have gone by and they have no idea about style. Their bodies, complexions, and hair have changed, and they don't know what to do about it.

I've been thinking about this for a long time. Five years ago, I went to a college reunion and was shocked at the way so many of my classmates had just given up. They didn't color their hair. They didn't even style it. They didn't use makeup. They didn't worry about what kinds of clothing would flatter them. And this wasn't the politics of frumpiness. They had given up.

Then and there I vowed never to give up. "As God is my witness," I vowed to my friend Liz, "they'll have to pry my lipstick out of my cold, dead hand."

So I'm going to start blogging about midlife beauty and style. How to take our hard-won wisdom and discernment and use them to defy the aging process.

I'm going to start with a 30 day series: Turn back time in 10 minutes a day.

While I cudgel my brains thinking of 30 days worth of posts, do me a favor and think of questions. Or just tell me this is a good idea. Or tell me where I should be doing it. Should I put it on Poppy Shops? Or start a new blog? And does "baby boomer beauty" sound as dorky as I think it does?

Help me Obi Wan Invisible Internet friends! You're my only help!

Blissdom highlights: an alphabet to hold you till I get home

Alli Worthington

Barbara Jones

Catherine Connor's spontaneous dance at the Potato Board party

Danielle Smith

the Elf makeup ladies and those fabulous blotting papers they were giving away

Frelle

Great breakfasts

Harry Connick, Jr.

Inclusiveness

Joking around

Karaoke night

Liz Strauss

Mary Ann Beasley

the Niche Blogging panel

The Opryland hotel

the pedometer the Weight Watchers people gave me

Quiet time in my room

Rachel of Southern Fairy Tale

the SEO and Counting What Counts panel

The Stiletto Mom

Unwinding

Vodka Mom

The "Wizard of Ads" panel

Xs and Os (lots of kisses and hugs)

my Youthful high spirits were renewed

my Zest for blogging was renewed, too

Blissdom is the greatest! Part Deux

OK, now I can really act as if Blissdom has actually started. When in fact, it hasn't. Although I managed to go to two Wisdom Workshops. So if you're unaware of the existence of Kelby Carr and Ang England, you need to clean up your act pronto because they totally know everything about SEO.

Also Susan Getgood, Shelly Kramer, and Lucretia Pruitt know everything about social media.

Also, I'm drunk. Weight Watchers is an excellent weight-loss program but it really doesn't allow for a lot of alcohol, so tonight I had two Manhattans and a vodka and grapefruit and that is WAY MOAR BOOZE than I usually drink, so whoopee!!!

Here's some advice for you: go to blogging conferences. They are awesome. Once you get there, follow Alli Worthington around. Stick to her like glue. You will have fun.

The end.

Blissdom is the greatest!

And it hasn't even started yet.

I managed to get to Nashville with no problems. No delayed flights, no crazy winter weather, no long lines at security--it all went incredibly smoothly. I got to the gate so early I had time to buy a box of sushi and an orange for lunch on the plane. I also grabbed a skinny vanilla latte at a Starbucks and headed back to my gate. I had it all--fresh fruit; Vitamin C; sushi; caffeine. What more do I need? Nothing.

And then I passed a chair massage kiosk. "Hmmm," I thought to myself, "I have half an hour until the plane starts to board."

To put the coffee down and sign up for a 15 minute chair massage was, for me, the work of an instant.

Then, upon arriving at my not-the-Opryland hotel, I checked in, discovered I was receiving free high-speed internet service, and headed to the website of the spa at the Opryland hotel to check out the offerings. Whereupon I signed on for an hour-long Swedish massage, manicure, pedicure, shampoo and style. You know--basically, the full-on Jen Lancaster.

I was at the Relache spa for four hours (or was it five?) It. Was. Heaven. Fabulous services, of course, but the ambiance! It's the single nicest spa I've ever been to. I'm up to my ears in cucumber water.

Then, sporting two new shades of nail polish (OPI's Siberian Nights on my fingers and Merry Midnight on my toes) I wandered around the massive Opryland hotel, with its three huge conservatories full of palm trees, orchids, and waterfalls.

At one point I heard a woman giving a speech. I'd heard Sarah Palin was going to be there, and maybe that's who it was. But she didn't sound like Tina Fey, so I didn't bother to get up and check. I was too busy eating my second box of sushi.

Yes, that's two boxes of sushi in a single day. Apparently I really like it.

Now I'm happy and relaxed and INCREDIBLY SLEEPY. I need to go to bed and get some rest, because at some point, there's this blogging conference I need to attend.

In Nashville, no one can hear you scream

OMG you guys, I totally deserve to drink an entire bottle of wine all by myself because seriously, if I had to answer one more phone call about today's election I was going to have to kill myself, not to mention that I really wanted to vote a straight Green Party ticket because the number of flyers and cards left on my front steps made the local pizza places seem understated and tasteful--and yet I AM NOT DOING SO because I'm desperately trying to get ready to fly to Nashville to attend BlissDom, the funnest friendliest blogging conference in the history of EVER.

But I can't find my hotel reservation information for the Opryland hotel.

So it's lucky that I forget to cancel the back-up reservation I made at a nearby Radisson when I couldn't get into the Opryland Hotel because it was sold out for the first night. Which is tomorrow.

Can you tell I'm panicking? Because I am.

What I really need is Jen Lancaster, blackbird, Susie Sunshine, and Wendy to tell me what to do and where to go. But they won't be there.

So if you see me (large, loud, bespectacled, older than I write) and I'm looking frantic because I can't find my phone and I left my laptop charger in the room and I don't know anyone, please come up and say hi.

I promise I won't cling to your neck and weep.

Thank goodness

tomorrow is my son's last exam. (And it's Plane Geometry, so you know I wasn't helping him study tonight.)

my house, The Building Formerly Known as Hell, is a little more homey today.

I found the perfect pajamas to wear to BlissDom--in the unlikely event that I actually wear pajamas to the pajama party.

No, Bloglines didn't mess up; this really is an update. Imagine that.

So here I am, sitting in my little haiku of silence and relative calm after

• A whirlwind trip to Nashville for BlissDom09
• Returning home to have my not-so-blissful domestic responsibilities handed off to me relay race-style as my husband raced out the door for a business trip
• (leaving behind a vast mountain of laundry)
• Nursing my daughter through a cold and fever
  
• Realizing that American Airlines is not going to call me and tell me they found my iPod. Those fuckers.
  

With all that on my plate, my first order of business was to sit on my fat ass in front of my laptop madly Twittering with everyone I met in Nashville. While I ate Little Debbie Nutty Bars.

People, it's a question of having priorities. OK?

So I'm going to do a Blissdom recap. I really am! But, since it's been several days, and everyone has beaten me to it already, I'm going to do a recap with a twist. I'm going to tell you Everything You Need to Know to Go to a Blogging Conference.

So stay tuned.

OMG! Lourdes looks so much like Madonna.

And I just realized something--Lourdes also looks just like my daughter. And yet, somehow, I don't look like Madonna. Go figure.

Anyway, I posted about Lourdes and Madonna this morning, and now I'm desperately cramming my suitcase with a whole lot of clean underwear (but forgetting my toothbrush) because after I get my kids off to school, I'm flying to Nashville to go to BlissDom.

So Blissdom ladies, if you're reading this? And you're wondering what I look like? You know what you need to know. I do not look like Madonna. In fact, I look more like Minnie Pearl. You know, the old lady from the Grand Ol' Opry who always had a price tag hanging from her hat?

Yeah, see, because I had to go out and buy all new clothes to wear to BlissDom, because I've gotten so unMadonna-like that my old clothes were way too tight. So if you're at BlissDom and you see someone who doesn't look like Madonna and still has the price tags on her clothes, that's me. Come say hello.

If only the rest of me looked as good as my hair.

You've probably heard about the freakily cold and snowy winter we've had this year. I mean, even if you live in Miami--like some people I know--you know that we've gone from wondering how much it would cost to convert the front hall closet into a wet bar (because who needs coats any more????) to inhabiting a landscape reminiscent of Jack London's worst nightmares.

Even at the best of times, I am a sedentary creature, and under the current weather conditions, I go out as little as possible. I have, I believe, spent every spare moment of the last two months huddled under a lap robe in front of a roaring flat screen working my way through entire seasons of Grey's Anatomy, House, 24, and Battlestar Gallactica. If cocooning were an Olympic event, I'd have a chestful of gold medals.

I'd also be popping out of my snappy red, white, and blue Olympic track suit.

People, those rumors you've heard are true. Sitting on your ass drinking wine watching fictional characters run fast, jump high, scale walls, and talk on their cell phones does not lead to a high degree of physical fitness.

Well, now I'm emerging from my cocoon. Yesterday I took my hair's frazzled ends and gray roots to the salon. Two and a half hours later, I emerged with the kind of bouncing and behaving hair you used to see in Salon Selectives ads.

Unfortunately, the rest of me is not bouncing and behaving. It's quivering and bulging, and I think I'm going to have to make an emergency run to Old Navy to find something to wear to Mrs. Fussypants' blogging conference. Or the other mommybloggers will point at me and laugh.

My other option is to show up in a Hefty Trash bag with Poppy Buxom business cards stuck on it with my kids' glue sticks. And only my hair emerging from the top.

So ladies, if you see a huge black plastic bag covered in business cards with a hank of freshly highlighted chestnut brown hair coming out of the top? Don't be shy--come say hello and take a card. Then pour a glass of wine into the hair end of the bag. Because I'm sure I'm going to need a drink.