I took a "which presidential candidate should you support" quiz at GoToQuiz. No, I won't link to the quiz. I won't do it that much of a favor. I'm pissed off at it.
OK, I found it on Belinda's blog. If you want to take the quiz, stop by her place for the link. Tell her I said hello.
Or don't. Because I just found out I'm a pariah. It turns out that I, a card-carrying donation-making Democrat, do not support Hillary Clinton. (Well, of course I don't. Bitch is married to my boyfriend.) Hillary was in the number two spot, though. Guess who was number one?
No, not Barack O'Boyfriend.
John McCain. JOHN MCCAIN. Who is a REPUBLICAN.
I can't remember the last time I voted for a Republican. Actually, I don't think I ever have.
I have no idea how that happened. None. But I blame the quiz. Because the questions are all about "hot-button" issues. And hot-button issues don't really interest me.
Like immigration. My ancestors immigrated a long time ago, so even if there was some law-breaking going on at some point--even if old Isaac Stearns shaved a year off his apprenticeship and got the right to vote illegally--my nose is clean. I get grandfathered in. (Get it? Grandfathered?) So who am I to act high and mighty about the current crop of law-breakers?
Abortion? Look, if people would stop having sex all the time, there wouldn't be so many unwanted pregnancies. Honestly, what's with all the fucking? What are you, people, anyway--animals?
Health care? Hey, going to the doctor sucks no matter who's paying for it.
Iraq? Well, yes, what an international diplomacy love-fest that's been. But now that we're in up to our armpits, do I have a solution? No, I do not. And therefore, I think it's unfair for me to expect all those Presidential candidates (and really, who the hell are these guys, anyway?) to have one.
But John McCain? You know who supports John McCain?
MY MOTHER.
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