Saturday, April 5, 2008

Please tell me this is a joke

Spotted on a local Freecycle list:

Wanted: Canine Lullabies or other CD for dogs with Anxiety

My dog goes crazy every time it rains and more so when it thunders. He shakes terribly and starts trashing the house. We have tried everything from medications to other music, etc. It was suggested that I try a CD for these types of issues. Canine Lullabies is the one I know about, but if you have a different one for this anxiety-type issue, I will be happy to try it.

OK, I'm an asshole.

But I don't particularly like dogs. In fact, I pretty much dislike dogs, with a few exceptions.

I like dogs who belong to friends of mine. (I only met Jen Lancaster's Maisie once, but she is Mah Widdle Puddin, yes, she is! OK, FINE. I was drunk.)

But I'm also a sucker for pugs and Boston Terriers. In fact, I like most mid-size dogs, like terriers or spaniels.

I don't see the point of long-haired little yappy dogs like Papillons and Bichon Frises. They seem noisy, and messy, and high-maintenance and annoying.

And I especially don't see the point of city or suburban dwellers buying dogs who were specially bred to help people hunt or take care of their sheep, if they're going to keep their dogs crated, stuck indoors, or penned up in a yard 90 percent of the time.

Until they're neurotic.

And need their owners to buy them fucking lullaby CDs.

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