What the hell?
I ask because last night I fell asleep on my daughter's bed at about 9:15. Passed out cold and didn't wake up until 5:00 or so--and that only happened because I was so uncomfortable. She has a twin bed, and she was taking up half of it, her stuffed animals were in another quarter of it, and I was left with only about six inches of mattress. So I had been sleeping on my left side all night in this weird squeezed position, and at 5:00 a.m., my body had finally had enough and woke me up.
When I shuffled into the bathroom to brush my teeth and stuff, this is what I saw in the mirror. The horror! My face was gone--and in its place, some prankster had left ... an accordion!
My mind reeled in dumb shock. And then questions surged forth--questions that I was too thoughtful to ask aloud at five o'clock in the morning, so I'll ask them here. What happened? Who did this to my face? And what am I supposed to do with it now? I don't know how to play the accordion--particularly a sagging, apparently broken one. What am I supposed to do with the damned thing?
Mind you, I do know how to play the piano. So this leaves me with only one question: are Botox shots in order? I hear they do wonders. So maybe, if they're done deftly enough, they can turn an accordion back into a piano.
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