The great hair color debate: another place to compromise

This is Part 1 of Poppy's Excellent Hair Dye Adventure. You might want to finish the series by reading Part 2: Drugstore Color and Part 3: How to be a Silver Fox.

A college classmate of mine emailed me recently asking me--the recently minted expert in all things stylish and beautiful--where I stood on the subject of dyeing one's hair. It turns out I have a lot of thoughts on the subject. Too many to include in an email. Too many to include in a single blog post. So welcome to Poppy's Excellent Hair Dye Adventure, Part One.

Susie Sunshine, Goon Squad Sarah, and Poppy Buxom's dyed hair at last year's BlogHer conference

I should start by outing myself as insanely high-maintenance and extravagant. Because I can't stand gray hair. Snow white heads of hair a la Crystal Gale are all very well and good ... but my gene pool seems to run to years and years of dull and dreary salt-and-pepper.

Also, I'm hair-styling-challenged. When I was growing up, hair was long, straight, and parted in the middle. No one used rollers or blow-dryers. We washed our hair and let it dry. Which means I didn't even dip a toe into hair-styling waters until I was well into my 20s.

Now, to my mind, hair-styling is like downhill skiing or stock car racing--it's probably a good idea to get started when you're young. And since I didn't even try to blow my hair dry until I was in my 20s, I'm at a permanent disadvantage. Those long layers that look so great when somebody else styles them end up confounding my attempts. Which means a lot of the time, my hair looks messy and disheveled.

And what's worse than messy, disheveled hair? Messy disheveled hair that's gray. So my theory on hair color is this: I have to color my hair, because if I don't, I'll look like one of those wacky old peasant women who hung around watching people getting guillotined during the French Revolution, knitting and cackling in unholy glee.

L-R: Sydney Carlton in A Tale of Two Cities, a French soldier, and Poppy with her knitting

Or maybe, because I'm a singer, like a member of the chorus in an amateur production of Les Mis.

So I get my hair colored at Pascal Pour Elle, a la-di-dah salon in Glencoe, Illinois. (If you go there for color, ask for Priscilla. She's a genius.) I used to get a semi-permanent base color, to which were added highlight, lowlights, and a glaze for shine.

OK, this picture is maybe not so great of my gorgeous friend Liz
or even of me, but it does show off my high- and lowlights

I still do the same thing, but with permanent color for my base. The permanent color covers the gray better, but it does make for a more dramatic demarcation when the gray hair grows in. Around here, we call this "skunk head."

When I get skunk head, I start to freak out. I do everything I can to avoid standing next to anyone taller than 5' 10" because OMG they might notice my roots!!! Then, when I remember that I might have to bend over at some point, I head to the drugstore and pick up a box of Clairol's Nice and Easy Root Touch Up, which I've raved about before. I use this to touch up the roots along my part and my hairline. It works well, although I do end up like a guy with a comb-over--one stiff breeze and my subterfuge will be exposed.

Obviously, I have a hair-color fixation. Having me list alternatives to going to the salon every month smacks of hypocrisy. As much as I resent the time and money I spend there, I'm satisfied with things at present.

But let's assume that unlike me, you're not mental on the subject of hair color. Maybe you don't want to spend that much money. Maybe you don't want to go through all that angst. Maybe you want to stand next to as many tall people as possible. What are your options?

Tune in tomorrow for Poppy's Excellent Hair Dye Adventure, Part 2: Drugstore Color.

30 Days to 10 years younger--10 minute tips. Tip 16: Rethink your hair products

From time to time I see a woman who colors her hair, and it's a dull, frizzy mess. You probably know what I mean: dead-looking highlights or beat-up, frizzy dark hair. My first thought is to think "ugh--bad dye job!" But that's probably not it.

Obviously damaged hair is every bit as aging as gray. Now, hair dye manufacturers frequently claim that their hair color "conditions" the hair and adds body. Insofar as coating unruly gray hairs with dye weighs them down and makes them more manageable, that's true. But if you're using demi-permanent or permanent hair dye, dyeing your hair damages it.

For your color to look convincing and natural, you're going to have to bite the bullet and pamper your hair a lot more.

Your hair is covered with rows of thin, clear scales called the cuticle--that's what makes the hair shine. It's like the clear top coat on your gorgeous nail polish color; the clear coat enhances the effect of the color.

But when we dye our hair, the cuticle is lifted so that the color can penetrate. This leaves our hair fragile and prone to damage. Blow-drying, back-combing, flat-ironing, sunlight, and chlorinated swimming pools only compound the problem.

For years I had long, thick, almost-completely straight hair. I had the second toughest, least damage-prone hair on the planet--it was like a horse's tail. And I didn't do much to it that damaged it--no color, no back-combing, and minimal blow-drying.

Then I started coloring my hair. I started with semi-permanent, and now, 15 years later, I get a permanent base color with highlights, low-lights, and a clear glaze to bump up the shine. Basically, I'm my colorist's bitch.

Well, guess what, children. Even if all you're doing is "restoring" your hair's original color, if you dye it, you're beating it up. Before I colored my hair, if I traveled to Florida or any place incredibly hot and humid, and the only change in my hair was that it got a bit more body. Now, my hair swells up like a sponge when it's dropped into a sink of water. Why? Because all that color has damaged my hair's cuticle.

I don't know why this took me by surprise, but it did. I would have expected it had I gone platinum blonde or flaming red, but I was dyeing my hair the color it had always been. It was kind of a shock when the texture of my hair changed.

I'll get into the specifics of what you should do later on. For right now, if you color your hair, I'd like you to think about the care you give it. I can't get away with treating my hair as cavalierly as I could 30 years ago, when it was approximately the same color. And neither can you.

So remember--you can color your hair like crazy and still have it look natural--it'll just cost you a lot of time and product.