Links for a lazy weekend IV: When the light bulb goes off, and other stories

As I was reading the article about whitening creams on the Fashionista, I thought, I should write one of these, too! But I read on and realized that this article can't be topped. Finally, someone has taken on the subject of dark spots, why all the cosmetics companies are releasing lines designed to deal with them, and how they work. Also, it explains why my expensive Chanel Le Blanc serum, cream, and cleanser have been doing zip, zilch, nada to clear up the giant sun spot on my left cheekbone.  And why I should just buy another bottle NuFountain Vitamin C serum instead.

Don't they?

We've all been subjected to numerous photographs of "arm parties"--that stacked bracelet craze that's been around for a couple of years now. And frankly, a lot of the time, the stack looks kind of tatty. I don't know whether people want their bracelets to tell a story, but I see stories that look like "OK, here's my watch even though I really use my phone to tell time, and a beaded friendship bracelet that my daughter made for me, and a bangle that my husband gave me when we were dating, and a set of three costume bangles, and a double wrap leather bracelet." And they're all higgledy-piggly, and look a little sweaty.

So here's District of Chic showing us How It's Done.

It doesn't hurt that there are two Hermès bangles in the mix. Or that she's carrying a Chanel flap.

In other news, I am entranced with a lot of the new styles that are coming out for fall. I'm at a stage in life where I occasionally need to wear a dress. And not an empire-waisted, one-shoulder dress six inches above my knee accessorized with platform sandals, the whole outfit designed to make me look like an adolescent giraffe. At least, that would be the end result if I were seventeen years old.

Therefore, I'm absolutely in love with the stuff I've seen coming out for fall. I had to dig around a bit on line to find it, since the stylists for the catalogs are doing their bewildering best to cobble together outfits that look like the sort of thing I'd throw on if my house were on fire, and J. Crew, I'm looking at you.

Here's a thought: don't. Unless you really, really want to look like a fashion blogger.

And don't think I'm not aware of your lapses in that respect, NORDSTROM. Blame your catalog stylists for the fact that I went to the Anniversary Sale on the first day ... and didn't buy anything but makeup.

Anyway, I'm in love with the longer lengths I've been seeing for fall. Ditto the paucity of platform shoes, which have started to look really dated even to me--and I cling to my favorite styles like a terrier with a bone. I'm pleased to see that waistlines appear to have headed south from the supposedly-flattering empire waist that has bedeviled me (and my Balcony) for the past several years. And I love the peplums. Although these are not great for those of us with Hips. However, they are helpful for those of us who have developed Elephant Ass, adding much-needed fullness to our meager side view. 

Not to toot my own horn ad nauseum, but you can see the stuff I've been admiring on my Pinterest board.

I mean, honestly--what's not to love?

Meanwhile, I'm sort of on a spending moratorium until I have time to hit the stores and check this stuff out in person.

In parting, I'd like to wish you all a wonderful weekend, as we wind our way into August and the end of summer. Get outside, eat watermelon, have a drink or two on the porch, find a large body of water and gaze at it. And you'll never guess what I'm doing this weekend, so I'll tell you. I'm dragging Mr. Buxom to a dance studio in Chicago to learn Balboa swing dancing. Check it out:

I mean, seriously. Look at those shoes. How could I not want to do this?

After six months, an update

What have I been up to, you wonder. I mean, Blogger has a brand new (to me) interface--surely something has changed chez Buxom.

Well, not to sound like Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof ("I have FIVE DAUGHTERS!") but we have two teenagers--so mostly I've been hunkered down in our foxhole, waiting for properly uniformed officials to sound the All Clear.

While there, I noticed that I had gotten kind of fat. While I wasn't paying attention, my weight had crept up to 192 pounds of pure buxom--again. I'm sure you'll agree that once you've come--at 5'6" and change--to within striking distance of the big 2-0-0, it's time to do something. So I'm back on Weight Watchers. And I noticed that while sitting on my sofa streaming episodes of The Biggest Loser is inspiring, it doesn't burn many calories. So I've started going to the gym. Also? What I'm eating is so unbelievably healthy, it would bring a tear to the eye of the editor of Prevention magazine. It's salmon and whole grains and protein smoothies and hardly a refined carbohydrate around here.

I'm down 11 pounds.

I haven't been buying a lot of clothes, but I did pop for a new evening gown.

Tadashi Shoji cap-sleeve twisted gown

Nylon/Spandex 

Neiman Marcus, on sale for $235

And I've gone a little crazy for Chanel cosmetics, particularly nailpolishes. Here I am modelling Quartz

which looks a lot better when Temptalia is photographing/wearing it.

All I know is that it will look AWESOME with my new flap, a Mother's Day present from Mr. Buxom.

What I Wore Today--in poetic form

The three piece Eileen Fisher outfit I ordered from Neiman Marcus has arrived, been tried on, and worn to three different events: a board meeting, a cocktail party, and a memorial service. If I were tracking cost-per-wear, I'd be pleased.

However, I'll admit that I had to use costume tape to hold the dress in place. The dress fits beautifully, but that Balcony of mine is so crowded that my underpinnings are always threatening to embarrass me. Also, the neckline isn't that low, but somehow, I seem to come equipped with too much cleavage.

At times like this, my BFF is Hollywood Fashion Tape.

This stuff is the velvet rope that controls the crowds on your Balcony.

I wore these shoes with it

from Taryn Rose's new line. You know, the foot doctor who became a shoe designer? Apparently she sold the rights to her name and then turned around and started Haute Fouture. The shoes are rather old lady ... but in a way I like.

These are wonderfully comfortable when you put them on. The leather is soft, the wedge is comfortable, and the elastic straps accommodate my high instep. However, a cocktail party is a cocktail party, and honestly, I think a thoughtful hostess should greet everyone with a nice pair of fluffy slippers. Because after a couple of hours of standing, even these shoes hurt.

Oh, I also carried my vintage Chanel bag with the giant gold interlocking CCs.

Where's the poem, you ask. Well. You know the old rhyme about what a bride should wear on her wedding day? Here's my version:

Something old (last summer's semi-orthopedic Taryn Rose-designed old lady shoes)
Something new (the dress, belt, and sweater)
Something vintage (my bag)

Something glue (Hollywood Fashion Tape)

What I did during summer vacation, or, eBay, Part 1: Chanel

The kids are finally back in school! And LPC has just reminded me that I haven't blogged in a while. I've been doing a lot of shopping, and I've been up to my earlobes in fashion magazines, because on the way home from England, I loaded up on English magazines and read all the way across the Atlantic. But I have a lot of half-baked thoughts to work through before I can post anything coherent.

So I'm going to do what I did while blackbird was visiting this past weekend. I'm going to play show and tell. Today it's Chanel.

Chanel black distressed calf reissue bag with Mademoiselle clasp and bijoux chain hardware

Mr. Buxom bought me this bag for my birthday last year, and it initiated a wave of Chanel lust that has yet to subside. I've had a membership at The Purse Forum for years, but after I got my first Chanel, I really started paying attention. Then, I felt bold enough to start shopping for Chanel bags on eBay.

The next thing you know, my new-to-me-bags are holding a family reunion on my front porch.

Back row: Black caviar Medallion tote; Jumbo black lambskin flap

Middle row: Satin crocodile quilted evening back; caviar camera bag

Front: Pink caviar leather wallet-on-a-chain 

The thing about eBaying is that results can be mixed. Even if you know you like something and you're feeling triumphant because you've pwned the other bidders, sometimes you don't like the thing that much when it arrives. This is the case with the Medallion tote pictured above. It's nice; it's in great shape; the seller was extremely professional. But I haven't carried it yet.

But the rest? I love.

Chanel Jumbo black lambskin single-flap with gold hardware, circa 1994

This is one of my two favorites. It dates to about 1994. Way back in 1994, I would've thought the giant interlocking C's were terribly vulgar. Showy. Far, far too logo-y. Now I don't. I can't tell whether accessories have gotten so crazily logo-rific that this bag seems comparatively understated ... or that I've blunted my senses by carrying around a Coach grafitti-print tote that says POPPY all over it. Probably both.

Chanel black satin reissue double-flap evening bag with gold bijoux chain, circa 2006

This bag is my other favorite. It's black satin that is quilted in a crocodile pattern. Perfect for going out at night, when High WASPs still insist on carrying something other than a leather bag. Your bag can be satin or beaded or petit point or a Judith Leiber minaudière but not leather. Gold or silver leather is probably OK. And you might be able to get away with an exotic skin. Look, I don't make the rules, OK? I just promulgate them.

Pink caviar WOC with gold hardware, circa 2003

If you travel or need to have your hands free, these wallets-on-a-chain are incredibly useful. You can wear these messenger style, across your body, or double the chain and wear it over your shoulder. You can tuck the chains inside and carry it as a clutch, or (gasp!) actually use it as a wallet. It has six slots for credit cards, several different zipped pockets, and room for a passport. If you've ever had your purse stolen, or had to spend lots of time in a police station in a foreign country, or had to go to the American Embassy to get an emergency passport, you'll know how good it feels to have your cash, credit cards, ID and passport right next to your body, held in place with a metal chain, in case a thief thinks about snipping through your purse strings. Not that I'm psychologically scarred or anything.

This bag isn't long enough to wear cross-body, but it's that durable caviar leather with lots of little pockets--including an outside slip pocket for my phone. It's so cute! And retro! But where and when to wear it?

Chanel black caviar camera bag with gold hardware, circa 1995

"With jeans," said bird.

Of course.

Poppy gets campy.

Mr. Buxom and I are on our way to Hancock, New York to watch our kids in their end-of-session performances at French Woods Festival of the Arts. (I'm linking to them because if your kids are performers or are interested in the arts, it's an amazing camp. They have musical theater, drama, dance, circus, orchestra, jazz, rock, DJ'ing, filmmaking, you name it.)

And let's get real. Overnight camp--with both kids at once? Not too shabby. I mean, they could be making me those ashtrays out of little tiles that my generation was making back in the 60s and I'd be all "Kids, these are the greatest ashtrays in the history of EVER." And I don't even smoke. But when your kids have been gone for six weeks, you can be patient and supportive and loving like that.

Obligatory fashion post: I look like dog vomit today. I mean, we're driving from Chicago to the Catskills so my primary concerns are practicality and comfort. But why did I wear a brand-new white t-shirt when I was obviously going to hit a bump in the road and splash McDonald's coffee all over my balcony? (It happens every time we're on a long road trip. Honestly, I should keep a lobster bib in the glove box.)

Ugh! And to the coffee-spattered t-shirt imagine, if you will, an ancient pair of cargo pants rolled up above the ankles and a pair of embroidered grosgrain flip flops with martinis all over them. What a knock-out ensemble.

Luckily for me I'm a blogger, not a celebrity, or the Fug gals would never let me hear the last of it.

And hey, people who tell you that you can totally upgrade your outfit with great accessories are full of it. I was wearing two AWESOME Hermes bangles, and I was carrying a fabulous Chanel bag, yet when I passed my fellow travelers in the rest stops on Route 80 in Ohio, they invariably averted their eyes.

The lesson? Even a Chanel bag is powerless in the face of a pair of baggy cargo pants.

BTW, the lippie is Chanel's Rouge Double Intensité in Rose Morganite. It's from the Fall, 2011 collection. The good news is it's not a limited edition and will be added to their permanent line. It's a lovely slightly browned pink in a double-ended wand. You apply the color and let set for a minute, then top with the gloss. Two very enthusiastic thumbs up--it's lovely and lasted through a delicious Indian dinner and lots of New York State Riesling.

Have a great weekend! (And try not to spill coffee on your balcony.)