Are you there, God? It's me, Noah.

The following are making me crazy:

1. The rain, which has been falling for what feels like a Biblical length of time.

Any second now migrating ducks and geese are going to glance downward and decide to go for a swim in the huge puddles in what used to be my lawn. Driving has that "wheeeee!" amusement park feel to it because no matter where you go, you can't help but splash through six inches of water. And I just had to muck out the drain in my garage to prevent gallons of water from heading into my basement.

Thank God for twitter. A few minutes ago @jasmined mentioned that the sun was out, which saved me the trouble of finding a dove to send out. Otherwise I'd be drowning my sorrows by lying face down in the protected wetlands area formerly known as "my yard."

2. Vast amounts of church-going added to an already overloaded schedule.

Yes, I sing in a choir and yes, my son does too, and yes, he's in eighth grade so yes, he has confirmation class, and yes, OK, the confirmation class does service projects so FINE he needs to be at church for an extra two hours to cook chili for a soup kitchen, but NO I will not be going to sing at this afternoon's Taizé service because hello? ENOUGH is ENOUGH. (Even though with all the rain, I should be trying to avert any additional heavenly wrath.)

3. Cyberbullying.

Remember when I said that the Girl Scouts were doing a special Thinking Day about cyberbullying, and I wondered whether they really understood the concept? I was also afraid that our presentations were just going to give them new ways to pick on each other. This was not the point, of course, but that's exactly what happened. So now I've gone all lioness-defending-her-cub.

Also, I'm probably going to stop writing about Magic Wands and swearing a blue streak, because the little cyberthugs discovered my YouTube profile and are over here reading my blog even as we speak.

Sheesh, as if all this damned laundry, cooking, cleaning, and non-cyber-child-rearing weren't enough to keep me busy. (Not to mention the drain in the garage floor. Or the wrath of Jehovah.)